Why Narcissists Abuse You - 9 Shocking Reasons & None of Them Are About YOU

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They are SADISTIC

They only have empathy for themselves, when they hurt you they behave like you hurt them, they switch roles with you, take credit for being you, treat you like you are them

I’m 60 and never knew why my family hated me. Now I do but it’s been a rough life because of them. My heart goes out to all who have survived. ❤

This explanation is brilliant. They twist words around and start believing their own lies; then accuse you of their own misdeeds. But that sadistic pleasure they derive from causing your pain is scary !

The hardest part is the abuse is so subtle. So it's easier for them to avoid accountability and twist it back onto you. Crazy making behaviour. Sadistic to say the least

Everywhere I go I attract these garbage types of people even indirectly. The invasion of my privacy, boundaries. Intimidation. Avoidance is key, so is knowledge

They need to transfer their pain onto or into others. It’s trickery. Black magic

His motto "I have to manage you". Made me sick. GP told me to leave for my safety. I left... After 40+yrs. Good health returned. Life is great now.

So true... you didn't know it was abuse, only years later you realise there's something wrong with you and you start researching......

This is true for me. My narcissistic adult daughter did exactly that to me for a decade. I thought I was going crazy, learned about gaslighting and how to respond to prevent her from setting me up. Through the years I isolated myself because she would talk bad about me behind my back to my family to the point I ended up getting D2, arthritis in my hands, felt like I was never enough, she would shamed me when I cried begging her to stop, asked her to see a therapist and she said I needed one because I was crazy. After being in debt and sick I moved away and am now feeling better and understand it was not me. Sad because I love her so much but both her father and her are the same. :(

Bingo your happiness triggers abuse

Ex narc gave me and our son an eviction , we moved out, then three months later ex knocks on our door giving gifts, i did not let him in, .....told him to leave----five years later our eviction records are about to expire-we are moving this fall. I can't begin to tell you the crap we have been through, but, i choose to not allow ex to destroys our happiness no more

13:02 And you can NEVER be safe, surrounded by flying monkeys, even when they "only" report on you.

The main reason why narcs abuse is because they have demons

No, the narcissist will abuse you even if you know it. It just boils down to lack of respect. I would get into fist fights w/my mom who just picked on me or slapped me for no reason or go back and forth in arguments with me not allowing her to downgrade me and be slapped and she kept that crap up for YEARS b/c the people within the family was backing up the mess. The real problem are the enablers who enable the narcissist behavior and also when you leave the toxic narcissist REGARDLESS of how you feel about yourself you run into another narcissist who tries to size you up that they can take advantage as well. So it has absolutely nothing to do with them knowing you know what they're doing. They're just evil nasty people. They love to talk over you, define you, yell over you, speak for you as though you have a mental deficiency and the crowd or the group or the enablers back mess up b/c they're usually scared of the narcissist as well even if they have power over the person. It's weird. No you don't have to think you don't deserve love and all of that nonsense. They just take their way. It's their IMPRESSIONS of you that becomes KING or QUEEN. They haven't a clue most of the time of who you are, so they DEFINE YOU. And tell you who you are. So most people who do not think as lowly as people think they do just reject being around a lot of people b/c most people now are Narccisstic. I'll say 1 out of 3 people in America are Narccisst just based off of my experience. So it's like going from the frying pan (narcissistic parent) to the fire ( Narcissistic co-workers, fake friends, fake helpers etc.). And the enablers are the MAIN PROBLEM. They're like the fans and the Narcissist are the movie stars.

❤very powerful when u said they want you looking like you are sick because they are.

I had a critical surgery back on May 14th. My son said when they took me back and they went home, my husband's phone blew up with texts. It wasn't anyone asking about me. So he took off and was gone for a long time. He came back with beer. And since it was all about me and not him, he showed up at the hospital very drunk. He couldn't stand the attention being on me. He nearly got into a few accidents on the way home. My husband has tried to be very controlling with my recovery. I think he was disappointed because I survived the surgery. My son noticed it too. Sad..

I've been reading the book "Atomic Habits" and having so many epiphanies. I used to do most of that stuff and was successful. My family, mainly my dad, beat it out of me, one piece at a time. Literally, brick by brick dismantled my whole system. I received straight A's but it wasn't good enough. I have to work harder(and dumber), not smarter. These people are very wicked and know exactly what they are doing. They have are reactive but that doesn't mean they aren't also plotting and planning your downfall. They take self help and marketing books and twist that information to abuse their family. Things that people use to better themselves are taken and twisted around to destroy the target of narcs. If doing A helps then doing B, the polar opposite, should harm. Narcs go hehe 😈

Here's a tenth one, from my own experience in being group-stalked: Once they see a beaten down person, that condition makes that person like chum to sharks.