AUTISM AND VERBAL PROCESSING|Purple Ella

Oh man when someone tries to explain driving directions or like, explain the layout of a store or something, especially if I don't even need to go there or whatever, I start getting upset because I can't get them to stop and they won't give up until they think I understand but I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND!

Oh yes...sensory overload and paying attention to EACH detail of someone's story. 🤦‍♀️

Whenever I'm getting overwhelmed and having trouble replying quickly I usually say "let me think" that seems to get people to wait a bit longer for a reply.

5:09 As a child, it took me forever to decide if I really wanted tea, so I learned to just say "no, thank you" and if I did decide I wanted any after all I would just make it myself.

That's exactly what I do! Blurting something out quickly before Ive had a chance to think about it just to avoid embarrassing silences and then regretting what I've said

I don't know if this is an autism thing, but often something is explained too fast and my brain can't catch up. I'm hearing the words, but not processing their meaning, so I get lost. Also, during movies, I frequently have to ask the person sitting next to me what just happened. I space out.

When I was a kid my mom always got really annoyed with me because whenever people talked to me, especially when there wasn't a context I would respond with either "what?" or "huh?". Then just as they started to repeat what they said, my brain would catch up and I would answer. There were several times where she accused me of doing just to intentionally annoy her, but it really was related to processing time (of course my mother generally tends to believe I'm doing things for the sake of being annoying, so that isn't anything unusual). I'm a lot better about it now, than I was as a kid, but I often find myself responding before I fully process things still.

My mom NEVER takes the time to slow down and get to the point. She HAS to tell me every single detail and gets angry when I "ignore" her or just stand there trying to process what she just said.

One time in a professional environment, I was having a hard time answering a question so I was trying to think my way through it, and someone (not the questioner) belly-laughed at me and said "That was a REALLY long pause!" Yeah thanks for noticing, that will definitely speed up my subsequent response time, you #$@&

Am lousy at this. Really bad when someone is trying to direct me somewhere, which is twice as bad when my ears are being bombarded with loads of traffic sounds, kids playing or any number of other environmental things.

Re: taking a long time to respond. If I'm over stimulated and someone says something to me, or asks a question, often my eyes see their mouth moving, and I hear the words with my ears, but there's no meaning attached to it, it might as well be a foreign language... until a few seconds later when it suddenly computes and then i know what they've said... and then i can respond quickly from that point. But i can't answer a question until i know what was asked, so it seems like I'm just ignoring them or didn't hear them. (I have been referred for assessment, 95% sure it will result in a diagnosis.)

I really struggle when I ask someone a question (particularly in the case of gaining information I need to action one way or another) and the response is anything but an answer to the question. Major overload.

This is so spot on! I would add that I have asked my husband not to give me important verbal information when I’m doing something like cooking where I have to really focus, etc., because I can’t do that and focus on listening at the same time. He used to come home from work and start telling me important things while I was cooking which I wouldn’t remember later and he’d get frustrated and say, “I already told you this!” But I would have no recollection. So we are working on him asking if I am able to receive important verbal information at that moment and that helps, in addition to the great suggestions you already make in your video!

I work in IT. Says it all really. At one point I'd ask customers questions and get pretty ****ed off when they were telling me everything but the answers to the questions. This is what I do and I'm good at it, so just answer the ****ing questions. People can go on and on but unless they are becoming abusive (and they quickly get the vibe from me that abusive is not going to end well for them) I now let them ramble for a bit because it's what they're programmed to transmit even if I'm not programmed to receive information this way, and sometimes I pick up some clues. Then I say, "You just told me so much and I think there are a few red herrings in there. It's all a bit of a muddle, so let's recap - your main issue is this? The next is issue is that?". It wastes time but not everyone thinks in the terms of efficiency and stresses about it the way I do. I've learned to chill a bit on that front.

Using few words and sticking to key points....it can help SO much. I had a boss at work a few years ago who really liked to talk, she was very nuerotypical and I found her difficult to navigate coz I was never quite sure what she was on about and how important tasks were. Her way of processing in her own brain was "thinking aloud." So I never really knew what she was on about at the time and just did what I thought was best. This was prior to my ASD diagnosis and I thought the issue was that I was defective but now I know it was just different brains trying to commnicate and not winning!

I know this video was posted 4 years ago, but I'm posting this in case other people stumble across this video. One of the most valuable things I learned is to say "let me think about that." When I was in therapy at 17 my therapist constantly got frustrated because I would take a whole minute or 2 to put together how I wanted to respond and at first would mistake it for not wanting to answer the question. Giving the option to say let me think about it let her know that I was actively listening and participating in the conversation but that I needed some time to form my response. It's not that I have to say it all the time (I'll forego saying it if I'm just having a conversation with my best friend or husband), but when I'm really having an in depth conversation that requires more brain processing, especially with someone new, I definitely find it helpful to acknowledge them and say "that was a good question, I need a moment to think about that" then form my response.

I have the worst time verbalizing from mind to mouth. I have the knowledge but I can't repeat the information accurately.

A bit late on this conversation. Auditory processing disorder seems to be common with people on the spectrum. It can be diagnosed by audiologist or speech therapists. Once diagnosed, there is therapy for where your particular "breakdown" in processing occurs. I was happy to find I had this as I thought I was just being stupid or weird

It's so difficult to understand a detailed story outloud, yet that's exactly how I ramble on when I'm telling others something that happened

I was diagnosed with a language processing disorder, then anxiety, then ADHD, then depression, then Borderline Personality Disorder…. I’ve always felt deep down that no one could see me having autism because they think they know me better than myself and I’m too “high functioning” in their mind… so many meds so many fails .. I’m 28 now and still trying to fight for myself. I’ve always related to autism but everyone else feel otherwise.