Ranking Every Mario Kart 8 Track by How Safe It Is

Stay safe out there

I must say thwomp ruins got rated VERY high for a track with no guard rails, jumps, rolling boulders, and, well, thwomps

Definitely gonna need Safety Inspector j0rts’s Safety Ratings on the DLC tracks before I invest my money into something potentially dangerous.

To be fair, with 1up mushrooms and necromancy, the mushroom kingdom most likely have incredible healthcare wich is most likely why they seem to ignore any and all safety precautions

"Drome" was originally an ancient Greek word, 'dromos,' meaning 'course.' It gained notoriety through the Greek hippodromos, chariot racing arenas where brave Disney characters would fight to the death in the gaaaaaames as Danny Devito coached them from the sidelines. The French later stole the word and cut off the last few letters as they're wont to do, resulting in 'drome,' and continued the racecourse tradition with Formula Une. Danny Devito's love of various methods of transportation would later result in variations such as the motordrome and aerodrome. The widespread adoption of electricity would eventually lead to famed inventor Deadmoufive creating electronic music, whose pairing with Japanese go-kart enthusiasts and esteemed Mario villain Doug Bowser culminated in the creation of the Electrodrome: a musically imbued go-kart race track.

Now I want to see a mod where every track is made safer based on this

This video made me realise I never quite took the time to just... look at the tracks. Missed so many details before! Granted, it IS safest to keep your eyes on the road while driving...

I love how Sunshine airport implies that the mushroom Kingdom is absolutely massive and not just some small country with a few villages like most people imagine it. Bone dry dunes is an almost 6 hour flight. That is similair to the amount of time it takes to fly from Amsterdam to Dubai in the real world. But somehow the metro connects all those places which means that the metro stations must be incredibly far apart.

It took me to Toad Harbor to realise that it wasn't a rating of how dangerous the track is, but how safe it is. Now everything makes a lot more sense.

How did Thwomp's Ruins get that high a score after almost dying several times? lol

The fact he uses a real Mercedes car colab vehicle to test these tracks, really shows his dedication to keeping us safe!

To confirm, Wario's last name is, not surprisingly... Wario. Just like Mario (he uses his own name, and Luigi also uses Mario, hence Mario Bros.)

"Bowser's castle has a Lot Of Work To Do. 2.1 out of 10." Bowser: "Yup, gotta get that 0.5."

I appreciate that the antigravity isn't counted as danger, as it's safe enough to stop upside down without any problem

This is the most anyone has ever used the “reverse” button in this game.

jorts never fails to do the thing where you do the thing to find out how to do the thing

I remember in Mario Kart 7 when i was a kid i use to hold my breath when i enter any underwater sections for as long as i lasted racing there, Wario's Shipyard was a killer for me

The helmeted look of Miis really sells the Safety Inspector vibes, that and being in a realistic car.

Yes I want to see this for the DLC, it was hilarious. The concept is already funny, but what put it over the edge was your role as the safety inspector instead of a random youtuber talking about safety

I love the idea of this random real life safety inspector being called in to professionally analyze the safety of fictitious and out there worlds. And him fully taking it as professionally as possible