Ranking Every Mario Kart 8 DLC Track by How Safe It Is
392,811
Published 2023-11-20
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Mario Kart is dangerous, so I put on my safety inspector hat once again to rank every Mario Kart 8 Deluxe DLC track by how safe it is.
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Timestamps ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
00:00 Intro
00:31 Paris Promenade
01:21 Toad Circuit
01:48 Choco Mountain
02:21 Coconut Mall
02:55 Tokyo Blur
03:27 Shroom Ridge
03:54 Sky Garden
04:13 Ninja Hideaway
04:54 New York Minute
05:33 SNES Mario Circuit 3
06:00 Kalimari Desert
06:32 Waluigi Pinball
07:07 Sydney Sprint
07:32 Snow Land
07:58 Mushroom Gorge
08:24 Sky-High Sundae
08:49 London Loop
09:19 Boo Lake
09:43 Rock Rock Mountain
10:19 Maple Treeway
10:43 Berlin Byways
11:18 Peach Gardens
11:50 Merry Mountain
12:19 3DS Rainbow Road
12:49 Amsterdam Drift
13:13 Riverside Park
13:40 DK Summit
14:11 Yoshi's Island
14:49 Bangkok Rush
15:20 DS Mario Circuit
15:53 Waluigi Stadium
16:20 Singapore Speedway
16:48 Athens Dash
17:24 Daisy Cruiser
17:52 Moonview Highway
18:14 Squeaky Clean Sprint
18:43 Los Angeles Laps
19:12 Sunset Wilds
19:36 Koopa Cape
20:12 Vancouver Velocity
20:49 Rome Avanti
21:39 DK Mountain
22:27 Daisy Circuit
22:55 Piranha Plant Cove
23:23 Madrid Drive
24:18 Rosalina's Ice World
24:49 SNES Bowser Castle 3
25:25 Wii Rainbow Road
25:59 Results/Outro
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ About j0rts ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Hi there! I'm j0rts (Ben), and I like to explore mostly pointless things in video games while playing them in weird, unconventional ways.
Despite my name, this channel has nothing to do with jorts. In fact, I've never even worn a pair of jorts in my life. I just find the word fun to say... j o r t s.
Anyways, thanks for taking the time to check out my channel. If you'd like to hang out with me live, be sure to visit my Twitch channel over at www.twitch.tv/j0rts
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All Comments (21)
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Where my safety enthusiasts at?
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In the interests of safety I must point out that in Tokyo, Sydney, London, Bangkok, and Singapore, you were driving on the wrong side of the road
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I appreciate j0rts' determination to get eaten by every single piranha plant
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7:22 As an American who has never been to Australia, I can confirm that Austrialia is FILLED with jumps over water out of buildings
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j0rts, the only man who can give 3DS' Rainbow Road a 1/10 and everyone is cool with it
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"Maybe it's not so safe here" Yeah honestly that describes London quite well
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As a Canadian, I can confirm the Vancouver track is pretty accurate. They drive through figure skating rinks all the time. The only inaccuracy is that they didn't hang any cars under the bridges.
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23:49 I’m not sure that’s quite the word you were looking for…
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Thank you for pointing out all of the safety hazards on these tracks. Going forward I will only play tracks with a 9 rating and above to make sure I am as safe as possible.
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I truly admire j0rts's commitment to the safety officer craft, truly an inspiration. If only more safety officers adhered to j0rts's example by driving headlong into any and all dangers to prove how dangerous the roads are. He truly is an exemplar of his craft.
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This may be a bit controversial, but as it name says, Waluigi Stadium is a stadium, so it is prepared to do this sort of jumps and stunts, so, in fact, Waluigi Stadium is one of the safest roads😂
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As a Londoner, can confirm I have to dodge a Chain Chomp during my morning commute. It’s still more enjoyable than the Central line rush hour stampede. 10/10 accuracy from Nintendo. Hope this helps ☺️!
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I just thought of something, since you covered all mario kart 8 stages maybe you can rank all mario oddyssey kingdoms by safety? I think that could be fun
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i feel that the princess' garden course may need a second look. reviewing these courses as you do, may have hidden the fact that her course redirects you back into oncoming traffic against your fellow racers. a significant safety hazard, easily overlooked when you are the only racer on the track.
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Avanti is Italian for “forward” or “ahead” or something along those lines. Also the Rome Avanti Chain Chomps will attack you, just only if you’re moving fast
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In Rosalina's Ice World, those are stalactites. You can differentiate them from stalagmites if you remember that stalactites are holding on TIGHT to the ceiling, and stalagmites are MIGHTY structures coming from the ground.
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I love how he is, in game, taking every turn sooo cautiously.
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I think we all owe j0rts a huge round of applause for doing his utmost best to keep us safe. I now know that I shouldn’t take my car underwater, on a ship, or in outer space. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
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13:12 as a dutch person i can say that that score is quite accurate to the actual city
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As an Australian I can confirm that we must jump over water to reach the road, the drop bears managed to tear down many bridges and roads forcing us to have to jump over water to travel (I recon the tourists forgot their Vegemite behind the ears) Yes we do ride kangaroos
