Stan Pines once said...

this man is a national treasure

You know, in hindsight, Stan talked about the apocalypse coming quite common. We know he listened to FM radio, but I wonder how much of that apocalypse prepping was because of Stanford’s journals and the portal.

''yes, YES. Burn the child'' and ''The tax collector! You found me!'' are two of my favorite Stan lines

"I put up with this pig the entire summer, now it's your parents turn"
followed by the bus driver telling him animals aren't allowed on, and him pulling out his brass knuckles, is still one of my favorite moments.

"KIDSS!!! I CAN'T FIND THE REMOTE AND I REFUSE TO STAND UP!" Stan is mood

It's hard to pick a favorite stan line when they're all this good.

"Grunkle Stan, are you blindfolded too?"
"Nah, but with these cataracts I might as well be. What is that, a woodpecker?"

Legitimately one of my favorite lines in existence.

"I'm Stan and I was Wrong, I'm singing the Stan Wrong Song"

"When theres no cops around ANYTHINGS legal!"
Still quotable to this day

My favorite stan line will always be the hysterical "MONEYYYYYYYY"

"Some people say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself."
"I, uh, couldn't find the remote."
"That's why I'm so hard on Dipper. So when the world fights him, he fights back."
"Heh, fighting back :)"
"You know, I can still drop you."
"Soos, would it be wrong to punch a child?"
"What the H??"
"I'm gonna smother 'em with fun!"
"Can I have my hands back? I have a certain gesture I'd like to share with you."
"Welp, this is gettin' weird."
"Or maybe these rare photos of American Presidents?"
"Shh, stress will make you chewy."
"Here, sweetie, blow something up for your Grunkle Stan."

Just some honorable mentions of my favorite Stan lines <3 (I apologize if any of these aren't word for word or if I quoted the wrong person!)

“Kids, if I die, make sure I get a bigger tombstone than ford”
“Man wants his privacy, I can respect that, throws grappling hook over gate , welp, everyone over the fence”
“That’s what I’m saying, AAUGH, throws tv out the window , I, uh, couldn’t find the remote

0:47 I just realized, Stan owns ten guns yet still predominantly uses brass knuckles or a baseball bat for some reason. Was he lying about the guns? Did he forget he had them? These are questions that may never be answered.

“He’s a pathetic wimp. No one wants to be around him. That’s what they said about me”

“Can I please have my hands back? There’s a very important gesture I like to show you”
Welcome back to “YOU CAN’T SAY THAT ON TELEVISION!”

Definitely secretly the funniest character on the show

"Children fighting, I can sell this!"

“I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly!”

"Yes, yes, burn the child" will never fail to make me laugh.

0:14 I love how S&P let this go through, but refused to let the summerween party flyer say "bottles will be spun"
Funny that Alex Hirsh saw this, and so replaced that part of the flyer with "Not S&P" approved and THAT got approrved