sophiemarie.b - hey little girl (live) [official lyric video]

by age 8 my dad was out of my life entirely. my mom would feed me lies about him. she made me believe that he was the one who abandoned us. with no one around to protect me, thats when the abuse started. I’m all choked up i cannot talk I’ve got a fucked up brain, fucked up thoughts writing songs was my therapy. I wrote the first verse and chorus while still living with her in october 2016. Thought i was okay but then i guess not I hope you know that this is your fault shame, anxiety, depression, self-doubt, anger...it was piling up. something had to change. so after 8 years of being apart I messaged my dad from a secret email address. (It would have been very bad if she found out.) he got me a secret phone (i put my best friends picture on it just in case) and we began planning my escape. Want you to feel bad when you go to sleep Hope you’re sad when you remember me Hope you’re feeling bad for all you did to me And hope you lie there in your misery the plan was to begin living with him full time by march, which felt like a long 5 months away. Hey little girl - You never believed there’s a ghost inside of you But it’s hidden too deep would the hopeful, happy, ambitious woman inside of me still be there when I was finally free? Hey little girl - You never imagined you’d get a little older You’ll get abandoned Hey little girl - You know smoking kills You don’t really care cause you love how it feels Hey little girl - You’re falling apart You don’t really care ‘cause they broke your heart abuse -> rebellion -> breakdown. this was the whole song at first. so I posted a clip on instagram as a failed cry for help. but less than a week later I got worried that my mom would see it and took it down. then in dec 2016, with 3 months still to go, my mother let it rip in front of the house, for all of my neighbors to see. bruised and crying I ran to my neighbors house and called my dad “we need to do this now”. my neighbors harbored me for a week while my dad prepared to get custody, as he did later that week. I will never forget the feeling the day I saw the police serving my mother the papers. a warm rush went through my body as she screamed in disbelief. within weeks i was on a beautiful beach vacationing with my dad for new year’s, when I found my song on YouTube, but under another person’s name. who the hell is Quinn Quinn? for those of you who don’t know, this girl on YouTube named Quinn Quinn ripped the audio from my instagram and reposted it as her song. it went kinda viral, on musically too. I was angry and helpless. who fucking does that? whatever! my only defens was to finish the song and post a video of me singing it in front of the piano. by this time, i’m free from my mother, which is why the second verse and bridge come from a whole new perspective. I’m fighting for all that I have lost It’s my time to show who's boss I’ve waited in the dark too long I’ve got this now, so just stay strong at 16 I finally had a chance. It was time to start going after my dreams. (I still tell myself this every day.) I know you won’t believe until I’m up on stage Make me bleed when you don't get your way in the mornings she would claim to not remember what she had done. “i hope you wake up and realize what a good mother i am to you" she would say. what a fuking joke. I hope you're scared when you remember me I hope you lie there in your misery Peace out you miserable bitch. Been in and out of recovery Remember when I could hardly breathe Sat in front of mirrors thinking to myself Can't get any clearer, what I’m doing to myself its been five years and i’m feeling okay. “You got this...you’re good” i like to tell myself. but sometimes it gets tough and i go back down to feeling like shit. I know i need to forgive her in order to fully move on, but its hard right now. i hope my story helps children and adults around the world recognize the dangers of child abuse and parental alienation. remember, there’s always someone you can go to for help. I just wish i contacted him sooner. - soph

When GEN z become parents, let's promise to be the best parents the universe and multi verse has ever seen. We will understand our kids and wont put them down when they go through sh*t

parents: ''stop being childish, i've had worse as a child'' Strangers: ''It's okay. I understand.''

The fact I listened to this song for 4 years. And every year it hits more

I’m pregnant right now at 18. I may not have been prepared for this. But my kids will never know the pain of this song or other like it. I will be nothing like my parents. My kids will be loved and brought up right. They will be listened to and understood. To my future kids. I love you. I’ll always be here for you.

life asked Death: Why do people hate you and love me? Death said: Because, your a beautiful lie and i'm the painful truth.

I love how my parents tell me that “everybody has bad days” but strangers will talk with me for hours saying they understand me

F= Fading slowly I= Internally crying N= Never felt more alone E= Every night I cry myself to sleep

I love when your parents say “You will grow out of it” and a girl who doesnt even know me that well listens to me and understands me

Hey little girl You know smoking kills You dont really care Cause you love how it feels

5~ "I want to be a princess!" 9~ "I want to be a actress!" 12~ "I want to be alone" 15~ "I want to be loved" 18~ "I want to be dead"

just a few years ago I was crying like a baby to this song, still am, just like.. a more reasonable adult.. happy New Years everyone 🤍

I hope you know that through the years, this has been my fight song. Through every abuse from my ex, every abuse from my mother, every day I was further indoctrinated into my family’s cult, and every self abuse I could imagine to make myself feel “normal”. It’s been the most challenging trials of my life, but every time I hear this song, I break down. It makes me feel strong again, it’s been one of my emotional lifelines. When I was 12, 13, 14, I never thought I would be around to see the next birthday. I’m so proud to say that I’ve been able to persevere and that my 17th birthday is in 71 days. You’ve genuinely changed my life with this song, with this message, with you being powerful enough to share your story. Thank you

I dont understand why some parents get mad at their children by being depressed. My parents yelled at me for cutting myself and my dad even said "if you really wanted to die then sure ill hang you myself!" While i said "then do it its not like im useful" my mother slapped me across my face after that they acted like i didnt have depression and suicidal thoughts. But til this day im still carrying it .. Update: Thank you all so much for all of the lovely messages down in the comments i really do appreciate it. It makes me happy that even strangers care about eachother, i know some of you suggested to call 911 on my parents but i love them too much to even do that..not to mention its actually my fault for being useless around the house. So today i talked to my friends about...leaving and going somewhere else which they didnt took seriously of course we laughed about it then i began to get silent, then started crying. Of course the moving away part has another meaning. Im sure all of you know what i mean. I began to cry and they tried comforting me with hugs and affection. I told them i wasnt sure yet..we were just outside my house then one of them suggested i should stop crying or my mom will see, of course i trusted them and told them about how my parents treated me. And even sometimes they can hear me crying and screaming inside of my house because of them, but of course nobody called the police or anything.. i dont know what to do, now with all this online school and quarantine going on everything is harder...i stopped myself from cutting as i sign i would change and so that i wont get myself in trouble. can you please give me some advice on how i can cope with this? Also this is not a cry for help i am onlu sharing my experiences with you. So for the next few months i will be updating this comment to share more ... November 8, 2020. 10:09 p.m. Guess ill be updating whenever something bad happens? I guess so.. Anyway, earlier today I woke up at 1 p.m I don't know why but I kept waking up late mostly in mid noon. My mom was cleaning and I had to get up since we share the same room I saw her. After a while I went out to do my regular stuff but then my mom mentioned the modules..that made my head ache just thinking about it but still I went to get them while working on the modules I became frustrated and without thinking I grabbed a bunch of worksheets from weeks ago and torn it my mom saw and began ranting about it telling me that I still am being able to pass them. I didnt knew what to do but I replied the opposite of what she said in a harsh tone she started screaming at me and i cried silently still she can see my tears pouring down but she didnt give a shit. I heard her voice crack and I knew she was really upset and was about to cry and that made me guilty..she grabbed my hair and pulled me back in our shared room and threw me on the bed telling me to sleep..of course I couldn't sleep, while trying I can still hear her saying insults at me like "if you arent interested in learning then you should've told me so that we didn't have to waste money on you. Just get a job as a maid so you'll be more helpful, though you dont know anything about cleaning so I guess you're pretty useless" and ect. It broke my heart I cried silently while thinking about my death and I know sooner or later ill go back to cutting again but more deeply. I know im a coward and I'm scared of dying but sometimes I just wish I had someone to do it for me. I'm really sick of everything im ungreatful and useless they gave me the life some people wish to have but im here being a total brat...I remember what my mom said; "quit acting youre not the victim here, We are! You're making our life harder and I could just die of high blood pressure because of you" im already writing a bunch of goodbye letters for them.."im sorry in bad luck.." November 19 2:22 pm I'm scared, I really am I do don't know what I'm doing with my life my mom found out that I slit my tighs Earlier. She ran to our room and started shouting non-stop. She got out and a few seconds later she came back holding a knife I started screaming and crying I was sure that my screams can be heard outside, my baby nephew cried because along side me, she kept threatening me about her killing me instead and her cutting my body into pieces instead of just slicing it. When she left to buy groceries I tried taking multiple pills for me to die from overdosing but I was too scared my heart bearing became rapid while I swear and cry a lot, I was still gripping on the bottle while crying...later I decided I'd take it I was about to swallow them all at once but I was too scared to so I took them one by one..I took three at the time then decided to make up my mind. I could feel my stomach bubble but not enough to hurt and my body felt weak and heavy I kept crashing on the floor when I tried to stand..I'm really scared and tired I just wished I wasn't a coward. I knew that pain was the last thing someone feels before they die, that's why I was scared. I was scared of pain I had enough I just wanted everything to go back to normal. I wished I didn't have any feelings I wish fear ,sadness,depression,disappointment, anger and all of the negative emotions never existed. I kept talking to myself in the mirror, I'm alone. The neighbours didn't give a shig. They only thought of it as normal since me and my mother faught a lot. But earlier...I screamed 10x louder and weeped harder. I wish they would understand I wish this pain in my chest would stop...but I knew that..the only burden that made me feel this way was myself..I wasn't good to them I knew I wasn't a good child and my parents had enough of me, I just wanted to leave and maybe they'd be happy! They can go ahead and sell my things I wouldn't care. Instead of a proper funeral go and throw me in the lake or dig a diy hole. Just to make you happy. I'm not your first propriety since I know I'm not loved that much l, even though I've been fed to and kept safe. Bad luck follows me everywhere and has been stuck with me ever since. I'm not pretty, or smart. But I do know I have a heart. I kept being kind to those who hurt me but if they crossed the line I knew I had to do something else. I tried my best to help her but I was focused on my phone, talking to my friends because I know that they'll make me happy. I focused on my talents and I kept working on my modules to keep up but I kept failing them. I got 1/20 last time and I broke down. I don't know what to do anymore God I could make a book out of this in wattpad.. December 16, 2020. 11:43 a.m I did it, I finally escaped my God for Saken house. I'm now out my best friends house. I came asked her if she could let me stay and she did and I came by when it was about 2 am. It was dark a and I had to walk towards her house which is a real exersice, when I was almost there there car pulled up and the color was white, I didn't have my glasses on so I thought it was the police. Turns out it was just a taxi helping me reach my destination for free, thank you. Now I'm scared. What if my mom takes me back? I don't want that December 27, 2020 9:25 pm: (Day before my birthday ) So earlier I decided that I would learn how to skate since I have a longboard that had been laying around for years now. I took it for a test drive and I felt happy that I could be able to skate, our street was empty and it had a almost smooth road it was almost perfect. I skated for a couple days before this and earlier my long board went haywire and flipped itself making me slip and fall in the process. I had almost broke a bone but I still managed to make it back home and tell my mother what happened. She scolded me and told me it's all my fault that I did such stupid things and that I could never achieve the success I wanted in skating. She planned to burn the board and told me to never skate ever again. I cried. All I wanted was support, is that too much to ask? Is it so hard to care for someone you have birth to? Why is it always have to be like this. Is people deserve love and support, don't think we're only human and can handle it unconditionally like we don't get hurt. I miss the time where everyone is happy and have their problems solved easily, but as life goes on everything becomes shit and hard. I know I'm failing in life like I'm failing my grades, I don't know what to do. I swear I'm trying but I was told I'm not trying my best and should do better. I'm sick of it. I really am... May 13. 1:19 pm I kind of forgot about this..but theres a bunch of horrible stuff happened in the past few days. I cant start on where, but as i scrolled down to see my past memories it just made me realize how of a horrible life ive lived . Anyway, i think i might have corona. Im not sure yet but the signs are there. Heres why i think i have the virus, me and my 2 friends were going to my other friends house to do our assignments, of course we we had permission. After we spent time and did our work, i felt weak. I felt like i was always tired and my breath was heavy, im sweating even when people thinks its cold, and i get cold easily when a fan is pointed at me. I have diarreah and i pee a lot more, headaches and body pain. I get rashes everywhere at my lower half body abd i dont know where it comes from. I didnt put any thought into it until i got a call from my friend saying that she was positive, i told my family about it. They didnt mind, as long as i dont go out anymore, yeah its reasonable but why let it slide? Im practically dying. But maybe im just overreacting?...

Kid: 'depressed' Mom: it's that stupid phone Kid: that phone is the only thing stopping me from ending my life

When I listen to this song, I like to imagine I'm talking to my younger self when life was simple and happy. Before the depression, before the confusion, before the trauma...

Room:I'll be hear to hide you in your worst times Bed:I will be here for you when you're tired Pillow:I'll be here for you to catch your tears Dream:I'll be here for you to hide you from reality Music:I'll be here to comfort and sooth you Mirror reflection:don't worry when you cry I'll be here for you and not laugh Stay safe everyone 💓

Reasons why you should stay alive. 1. We would miss you. 2. It's not worth the regret. Either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you. 3. It does get better. Believe it or not it will eventually get better. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow. 4. There's so much you would miss out on doing. 5. There is always a reason to live. It might not be clear right now, but it is always there. 6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself. 7. You ARE worth it. Don't let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise. 8. You are amazing. 9. A time will come, once you've battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and won't regret your choice to carry on with life. Because things always get better. 10. What about all the things you've always wanted to do? What about the things you've planned, but never got around to doing? You can't do them when you're dead. 11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that's still a reason to stay alive. 12. You won't be able to listen to music if you die. 13. Killing yourself is never worth it. You'll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about. 14. There are so many people that would miss you, including me. 15. You're preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born. 16. How do you think your family would feel? Would it improve their lives if you died? 17. You're gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect. 18. Think about your favourite music artist, you'll never hear their voice again... 19. You'll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day 20. Listening to incredibly loud music 21. Being alive is just really good. 22. Not being alive is really bad. 23. Finding your soulmate. 24. Red pandas 25. Going to diners at three in the morning. 26. Really soft pillows. 27. Eating pizza in New York City. 28. Proving people wrong with your success. 29. Watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life. 30. Seeing someone trip over a garbage can. 31. Being able to help other people. 32. Bonfires. 33. Sitting on rooftops. 34. Seeing every single country in the world. 35. Going on roadtrips. 36. You might win the lottery someday. 37. Listening to music on a record player. 38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower. 39. Taking really cool pictures. 40. Literally meeting thousands of new people. 41. Hearing crazy stories. 42. Telling crazy stories. 43. Eating ice cream on a hot day. 44. More Harry Potter books could come out, you never know. 45. Travelling to another planet someday. 46. Having an underwater house. 47. Randomly running into your hero on the street. 48. Having your own room at a fancy hotel. 49. Trampolines. 50. Think about your favourite movie, you'll never watch it again. 51. Think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke, 52. Your survival will make the world better, even if it's for just one person or 20 or 100 or more. 53. People do care. 54. Treehouses 55. Hanging out with your soul mate in a treehouse 55. Snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees 56. I don't even know you and I love you. 57. I don't even know you and I care about you. 58. Because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness! 59. You won't be here to experience the first cat world emperor. 60. WHAT ABOUT FOOD?! YOU'LL MISS CHOCOLATE AND ALL THE OTHER NOM THINGS! 61. Starbucks. 62. Hugs. 63. Stargazing. 64. You have a purpose, and it's up to you to find out what it is. 65. You've changed somebody's life. 66. Now you could change the world. 67. You will meet the person that's perfect for you. 68. No matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you. 69. You have the chance to save somebody's life. 70. If you end your life, you're stopping yourself from achieving great things. 71. Making snow angels. 72. Making snowmen. 73. Snowball fights. 74. Life is what you make of it. 75. Everybody has a talent. 76. Laughing until you cry. 77. Having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy. 78. The world would not be the same if you didn't exist. 79. Its possible to turn frowns, upside down 80. Be yourself, don't take anyone's shit, and never let them take you alive. 81. Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. Be your own hero. 82. Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections. 83. One day your smile will be real. 84. Having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day. 85. Lying on grass and laughing at the clouds. 86. Getting completely smashed with your best friends. 87. Eating crazy food. 88. Staying up all night watching your favourite films with a loved one. 89. Sleeping in all day. 90. Creating something you're proud of. 91. You can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn't commit 92. Being able to meet your Internet friends. 93. Tea / Coffee / Hot Chocolate 94. The new season of Sherlock 95. Cuddling under the stars. 96. Being stupid in public because you just can. 97. If you are reading this then you are alive! Is there any more reason to smile? 98. being able to hug that one person you havent seen in years 99. People care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this. 100. But, the final and most important one is, just, being able to experience life. Because even if your life doesn't seem so great right now, literally anything could happen - From someone that cares about you <3

this is the kind of sickness that isn’t excused at school this is the kind of sickness that no one ever notices this is the kind of sickness that goes unnoticed until it kills

I’ve known this whole song since I was 8. I’m 13 now, still know every lyric, I heard my sister listening to it, a month later she tried to end it.