Ask Dr. Ramani: How To Go "No Contact" with a Narcissist | Season 2; Ep 29

This might be TMI. but after I went low contact with my narcissist , My Cycles went back to normal I seriously thought there was something wrong with me. it's amazing how much psychological harm these relationships actually do to us.

Sometimes these videos are a lot more helpful than talking to a therapist or friends. Most people don't know enough about this subject to steer you in the right direction.

14:40 "Narcissistic people are fighters. They like the fight." Someone said, "I'm a fighter, not a quitter," but when it comes to a narcissistic relationship, I'm a quitter, not a fighter 😊

I was getting sick thats how i knew no contact

I hate how ppl are shamed by society for going no contact 59:25 ... after experiencing narc abuse ,if someone says I havent spoken to my MIL/ sibling etc.. for 5 years ,I say "good for you , how did you manage that?"

I never heard of Yellow Rock before but I've instinctively done it and it's very effective! Also appreciate the idea of rehearsing how you'd handle seeing a narcissist again, and treating it as a sick day. I went no contact with my elderly narc aunt I was helping after she became unrelentingly passive aggressive when I set a basic boundary about my own health. The guilt recedes. We owe no loyalty to those who abuse us.

To decide when to go no contact, try to imagine you are your dearest bestfriend being abused, bullied, disrespected, criticized, controlled etc. endlessly and what you will advise her to do. Then you will wonder why you stupidly stayed and didn't go no contact ages ago...

Definitely agree about others feeling overly entitled to weigh in on our decisions to go No Contact. The old phrase “mind your own business” still applies, right ? Also nobody judges the narcissist for mistreating us, but once we cut ties, then everyone judges us. That’s society’s fault that narcissists are never held accountable for their actions or behavior, but we are scapegoats even if we do nothing.

If your father is a real narcisisst as you say why would you want your kids around him. 🤔

I went no contact with my own kid. The abuse was killing me and the disrespect was off the charts. We both eventually got sick from the loss of our child and grandchild, and we’re still struggling every day. It sure hasn’t been easy. But putting up with that kind of mental abuse wasn’t either, and we’re glad it’s out of our lives. It’s been many years, and it’s certainly too late now, but trust me when I say that these people just get worse and worse and worse. You will snap sometimes and look like the crazy one, but you know and I know you are NOT. Don’t look for other people to validate your decision. They won’t, and often time family who don’t get it will shun YOU and believe you’re the problem. That’s because they’ve been told lie after lie and they believe that you are a bad person. Resist the urge to talk badly about them to others. Pretty soon others will notice that the narc is the only one talking, triangulating and telling tales. It might take years, but give them time. There is no winner, everyone loses here, so forget that aspect of it. Your journey to regain self respect began with going no contact. Stay in that frame of mind as much as you can. Good luck.

15:30 How do you know when to go no contact? I so relate to an unforgivable comment (or actually a series of comments) being the final straw. It was like something in me snapped and the empathy/attachment blinders finally fell from my eyes. Instead of viewing her selfishness as a quirk, I saw clearly that she doesn't care about my wellbeing and was just feeding on me like a perpetually hungry monster. 🚫🧛

I didn't tell her I was going NC, nor did I write a letter (to her) after the fact. I wrote it to her latest husband (read: hostage). He asked my dad about some of it, and found out she'd been lying completely comprehensively on every subject imaginable for years (surprise!).... If their lips are moving, they are lying.

I have already been preparing what I am going to say if I happen to run into my narcissistic ex and he tries to talk to me: "I appreciate your desire to talk, but I need some space right now. Thanks." and just walk away.

“The subtlety is what throws people off….” This is sooooo true. I questioned my own sanity so many times because of this. Finally going complete No Contact was the best thing I ever did!

This episode was absolutely brilliant. I was nodding at everything that came out of Dr Ramani's mouth. She is so validating. ❤

Although I had low contact with my narcissistic mother I encouraged my kids to enjoy their grandparents. After my father died my narc mother began to triangulate using my son. He was furious. He now refuses to see her; she is 98 years old and he says that he won't even go to her funeral. It never occurred to me that my narc mother would risk her relationship with my kids. It's horrible.

Does anyone else feel like narcissists have disdain or outright hatred for smart, intelligent people be they empathic or scholastic?

The Problem is also: The line you set can be violated by yourself. I also said: never let somebody hit me or cheet me and step by step i lost my boundaries….

I believe my Mom is bad for myself AND my kids. I don't trust her. I've caught her lying and fabricating things so many times. She's a manipulator and a deceiver. Chose to go no contact and that includes with my kids too. Hope I made the right choice.

Forgive them and u ( no emotions to heal u) but NEVER forget who is the enemy