Cognitive Reframing (And One Life Hack to Reduce Suffering)

Here is the link to the PDF: Transform Your Negative Core Beliefs: awakenjoy.lpages.co/negative-core-beliefs-pdf/

Optional pain and second arrow of suffering. My narcissistic biological mother left me when I was only 12 years old. She never loved me. My father's love was too weak to fill up that deep void in me. Both my parents have gifted me one life with many inner deaths that I still experience very often. I liked to study but my disturbed family life and worst kind of schooling and upbringing didn't allow me to achieve success in my life although I never wished to waste myself but my life is a waste now and I'm still sane and alive only because of my spiritual interests in life. Otherwise I would have been in an asylum by now. Thank you.

I am absolutely amazing! Whenever I hurt myself I immediately apologize! The other day I fell because I installed a slippery tile in the den, so if I am washing the porch and come inside barefoot I will fall automatically! The first time I was about to cry but since I live alone what’s the point of crying without an audience. I said “I’m not going to cry! I am not a poor thing, I am strong!” Now I know better, and purchased a pair of 🐊 croc sandals that aren’t slippery. I truly mean the apology whenever I hurt myself. Maybe if I weren’t living alone I would be looking for someone to blame

Woah! This video came at the perfect time. This weekend I spent a few days in the house where I grew up. My parents are on vacation and this is the first time I’ve slept there in 10 years. While I was there I got to see some of those core beliefs that were created as early as at 5 years old. The main one being that I’m not safe and the world is harsh, unforgiving, and dangerous. I saw how that belief has been coloring my memories of my childhood AND what I’m creating in my future. I left able to appreciate all of the amazing things my parents provided that I had been blocking out or dismissing and able to lift that constraint (second arrow) from my future.

Appreciated the outline on how frames are formed! Another great video!

Thank you for sharing the concept of the 2nd arrow of suffering, its such a perfect way to describe what our minds do to ourselves and gives insight into how we can counteract it ! I really appreciate your work.

Well, this can change how I deal with and sort out my emotions... I just need to ask myself: "Is this pain you're feeling optional? Do you actually need to feel this level of pain on top of the unavoidable one? Do you think you can let this one go or should we work through it? Do you think you deserve the relief of letting go of this optional suffering?" ... I think it will be very helpful as it starts a conscious conversation with the self and reminds me that I DO have options; that I don't have to undergo some kinds of pain if I can. Thank you🙏💕

Great talk Barbara. It really has made me be aware of looking for times when I can lesson self imposed avoidable suffering. 🙏🏻

Thank you so much Barbara. You're an angel for helping so many people out through everything. Thank you thank you💖

Thank you so much for this video!

Thanks Barbara. Helpful video. The way you present information your videos makes them so enjoyable and easy to receive. I hear all the compassion too. Thankyou for choosing to make these, and all the effort that goes into the preparation. Simply amazing.

This was such a well-explained clear-cut cut to the chase video. Made so much sense to be able to grasp through real-life examples. ty

Your videos are great! Thank you for sharing. Al Anon 12 steps is also helping reframe my first thoughts of shame and judgement. Your delivery is so clear and concise. 😊

Lots of love and gratitude from Egypt

I really resonated with everything you said. You are very clear and give great examples with visuals, which I so appreciate. Keep doing what you are doing it’s so powerful.

Absolutely correct

I was looking for videos about reframing negative thoughts and I’m glad I found your videos! This is so helpful and the way you explained the concepts and techniques are easy to digest. Thank you for the free resources as well!

Barbara, thank you for sharing this information. I hadn't heard about cognitive reframing before, but I love what I learned.

Thoughts are a tricky game. You can literally over think overthinking. I mostly feel I'm dominated by my thoughts, and that my thoughts that i choose to think dont work. I've been drowning in endless mind battles throughout adulthood. So difficult to detatch and be present and be in control.

Loved the concept that you introduced to us “the optional pain“. I realized this is what I’ve been doing all through my life and adding to my stress by blaming myself or blaming others for any unavoidable pain. Will reflect now! Thanks for the thought provoking video