How to Tell if a Narcissist is Faking Affective Empathy #shorts
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Published 2023-04-29
All Comments (21)
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So, watch what people do, not what they say. This is good advice on many levels. Thanks Dr. Grande.
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Whether a narcissist shows empathy or not, you cannot rely on them for moral support. I’ve learned a great many things from you, Dr. Grande. Your wit helps the medicine go down in the most delightful way. 😂❤
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Spot on! After 30 years of silence, my mother was told I had cancer. She rang and asked how I was, and has never asked again since then. She just talks about her problems and unhappiness.
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it took me so long to realize they didn't really mean it and would never follow through with action. I realized it was a performance to fool those present.
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Its what Sam Vaknin calls "cold empathy".
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This is the story of my narcissist. She would proclaim that she was an empath had a masters in psychology and cognitively could empathize with people, but behind closed doors she was clearly a different person with the mask off and was absent affective empathy! It was quite the thing to witness and come to terms with!
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These 2 narcissists I know, they don’t care. They don’t even try to pretend. They are arrogant and everything has to go their way. I have nothing to do with them.
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I think Empathetic people find it confusing and some just can't understand how or why they're not being kind. The Empathetic person might think they're just going through a bad day and reflect on the love bombing stage and hopefully wait for it to return. It's confusing because Narscissist are sometimes very kind, caring and helpful...when they want something.
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I've always been one to WATCH what people do more than just listening to what they say!
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what I have learned about people who have cognitive empathy is that they are agreeing to be a part of the conversation and blend in temporarily
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Please explain what is empathy. I can read body language and facial expressions and guess or imagine what someone is experiencing. I have no desire or impulse to hurt anyone or exploit anyone. But there is no way I would say I feel what they feel. If they look angry for example I may feel a flight or fight response within me, or if they look calm then I might feel safe. But there is no way I could presume to feel another person's experience.
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Doesn’t this also result in the timing of their reactions being a little bit off as well?
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Sympathy, Empathy, Compassion; in that order as far as human self fulfilment. As schizoid I can feel empathy but can have difficulty in communicating and transmitting that empathy.
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Unless, of course, they’re wealthy and are in the public spotlight, in which case they establish “foundations” to hide their money in - I mean, to assist people with.
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Reminds me of when I went in to the office right after the death of a loved one to make sure things were taken care of before I took a few days off for bereavement time and the guy i worked for said "You must be sad. I need 54 copies of this 17 page report printed and bound before you go. Put business cards in there too," as he walked off sipping his coffee so he could get back to watching a damned soccer game on the big screen in his office. Smooth as a cinder block.
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Leave them alone, they are just trying to fit in
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Actions, faking, and tricking… you’re indefatigable Dr Grande. So much info in such a few words.
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I experienced this from a doctor. His words spoke empathy, but his tone/ inflection sounded empty.
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Oh, that’s EASY. He’s breathing and his lips are moving
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Describing Psychopathy or Asbergers Syndrome symptoms. Narcissism is a trait that is often used as a coping mechanism to cover for other deficits and/or pathologies. Narcissism seldom comes alone it is a mask for other stuff. It usually accompanies all psychopathy in its `overt´ form.
