THIS Is Why the Avoidant Breadcrumbs & What You Can Do Immediately to Stop It

Have you ever experienced breadcrumbing in a current or past relationship? What was your experience like? ❤

Avoid dating an avoidant. Learn how to be secure yourself. Then find another secure person. Understand how to stop bread coming yourself!

Dating an avoidant has been the most painful thing I’ve ever gone through. Word of advice… just don’t.

Here s the secret with avoidants. DAs need to have many of their boundaries brought down and broken while FA need to have boundaries built and lifted up.

If someone acts like your partner but refuses to use titles, it's because they aren't ready for a relationship, want to keep their options open, or aren't sure about you. Titles define a relationship. There's no ambiguity when there's a title, which is why labels scare people who aren't read to commit. Relationships are about actions AND words. When it comes to relationships, actions don't always speak louder than words. One is not more important than the other. The important thing is whether someone's actions align with their words. To avoid using a title, people might say things like let's just take it slow, I want to enjoy what we have, I like things the way they are, I don't want to get hurt, I don't do labels, it's too much pressure, I'm not ready for a relationship yet, the timing isn't right, let's see how things are going in a few months, etc... But when a person is ready to commit, comfortable with intimacy, and sure about you, the way they act will align with the words they speak

Currently in the aftermath of an avoidant/anxious relationship. Going into the relationship I was secure bc of all the work I have done on myself. I enjoyed going slow and seeing where this would go - he claimed he was super busy and didn't have much time outside of work but we talked every day. After 7 months it came out he hadn't told me about a pregnant woman and baby (at this point the baby was 2 weeks old), from a one night stand that happened before we met. Cue anxious attachment. We tried to work it out but his avoidance made it impossible for repair. So I'm left picking up the pieces. They will ruin you and leave you in their wake of destruction. Run.

To all: This is supposed to be a safe space for everyone to share their comments. This thread seems to have some that are annoyed by the differences of perspective & opinion. I just want to restate that I’m not trying to judge, offend, or criticize anyone. But yes, I am hurting, just like a lot of others are, and I am working on my healing. So I apologize if I said anything “wrong” in your eyes. Lets just all be grateful we found Thais & the PDS. Best wishes to all.

I gave two decades to an extremely avoidant person. I got better with my anxious attachment and I learned my lesson. Bread crumbing is manipulation and disingenuous. I can have sympathy and compassion for the avoidant, but I want nothing to do with them and have zero desire to connect to them at all anymore. If someone has a partner with no desire to work on themselves, then I would advise anyone else to do the same. You will be neglected by an avoidant who can't work on themselves.

I fear heights. Therefore I AVOID heights. If you fear vulnerabilities in relationships, AVOID relationships.

Set the deadline and he didn’t “show up.” I got my answer

Here's what you do to stop it, you leave. Stop giving these selfish/inconsiderate people a pass and have some self-respect to not be in relationships with toddlers in adult bodies.

Seven months of keeping in touch but never meeting (long distance) He disappears for a week at a time. Just leaves a msg or text unanswered then pops back up like nothing happened. We are both over 55. Very frustrating connection.

Thank you I did this exactly took a huge step back because of lack of reciprocity ✅

You have a very clear way of explaining these dynamics without putting blame or shame on either side of it. Thumbs up!

I'm so grateful for your videos. You've been really educating me on my past relationship and helping me heal my broken heart to move on. You're amazing, thank you for what you do 💓

Thank you so much for this amazing video!! Just what I needed today when I've been questioning Bread crumbing. So good to see where I affect myself in this by being addicted to the bread crumb fix I get

Hello, Thais. Thank you for the introduction to this topic. The advice to pull way back is calming for me. To build a cost/benefit analysis of staying sounds beneficial. Take care, all.

Thank you for your explanation well done🙏

I love it how you value the core wounds in every attachment style and devote yourself to healing. at the moment I'm recovering from a breadcrumbing relationship with a DA; apart from protecting myself by setting a deadline I didn't have the tools to navigate through the process in a healthy way. thank you very much for your work, a labour of love ❤, next time I will be more equiped; or even better; ready for a relationship with a securely attached man 🥰

Personal tip -> go off for 2 weeks and please don’t tell them about it Distance = „what do I feel?“