It's getting worse again (vent playlist)

0:00 Alien Blues by Vundabar 2:36 Hayloft by Mother Mother 5:39 Afraid by The Neighborhood 9:49 The Perfect Girl by Mareux 13:03 Freaks by Surf Curse 15:31 Homage by Mild High Club 18:28 Young by Vacations 21:37 Nice Boys by TEMPOREX 24:38 Bad Things by Cults 28:18 First Love/ Late Spring by Mitski 32:56 Japan by Yot Club 35:49 Advice by Alex G 38:27 Welcome And Goodbye by Dream & Ivory 40:48 Alrighty Aphrodite by Peach Pit 44:16 Turn The Lights Off by Tally Hall 47:12 Burning Pile by Mother Mother

pov: you dont have friends, friends have you.

POV: you're trying to act like everything's okay because you've been telling everyone that you're getting better but it's all just getting worse, and you've already lied for so long that it feels wrong to tell them the truth now

Pov : It gets all downhill again, but you have to pretend that everything is fine and have a smile on your face

Honestly, I never thought I’d need one of these “it’s getting bad again” playlists. And yet here I am, trying to forget about the fact that my friend is literally trying to make me responsible for his mental health. I love my life! /s /neg

you know it’s a good playlist when it starts with alien blues.

I wish I could write down my feelings but... I don't even know what I'm feeling. I'm somewhat numb, angry, stressed, sad, frustrated, confused.. I don't know. Time is just passing beside me and whenever I recall memories, even if they're from the same day, it felt like it was in a whole different universe. Is it just my vitamin D defficiency again? Is it the school stress I have? I have no idea. I just want to figure out what's wrong with me, so I can try to get in those times again, the times where I was just so happy and everything felt easy. My sleeprhythm is fucked up and is getting worse and worse and still I'm always tired, after sleeping 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, ... hours. It doesn't matter. I'm tired. Every single time. And my mind is too. I don't want to work on anything. I want to sleep. Do nothing. Escape reality. I'm overwhelmed and don't feel anything at the same time. I want this chaos to stop but... I don't know how, because I don't even know why. Edit: I'm so sorry for everyone that is experiencing similar things. I hope you get better soon. Edit September 18th: Started Therapy

13:42 ' Don't cry, I'm just a f i s h . ' 🐟

I can't stop, no matter how hard I try. I always let the intrusive thoughts win.

For anyone who's wondering, the image is from the indie ga.e Omori, and the character's name is Basil. I can't get into a lot without spoiling all of it, but its a pretty depressing and deep game that deals with intrusive thoughts, murder and suicide. I would totally recommend it though =)

POV: you know your sis is joking when she calls you ugly, in a teasing way. But its slowly getting to you and you feel your suicidal thoughts coming back again.

Pov: Your mom blames you for everything even when it wasn't you're fault

The fact that people actually need vent playlists just says something about how horrible people can really be

i didn't even hear the full playlist but i already relate to this playlist

A perfect playlist to listen to while making really depressive vent art because your friends are having a party without you and leaving you out of plans

I’ve came to the conclusive thought recently that there are three type of depressed people out there and only five types of people in the world. To start the five people in the world are the happy. Somehow some people are genuinely happy. Then there’s the “happy” it’s just a fake front for another depressed person. Then theres the feels to much depressed, feels not enough depressed, and idk how I feel depressed. Going into the three types of depressed people we’ll start with feels to much. It’s like all these people can do is feel. They’re being torn apart by everything around them and just wish to be numb. Next is the feels not enough. Your constantly numb, that’s all there is to it. You don’t necessarily want to feel but at the same time it feels as if you’ve lost all connections with others. Then theres people like me we don’t know how we feel at some times all we can do is feel feel feel why are emotions so strong then other times you just feel so numb and lost and gone. What’s happened to you. Sorry for this massive huge vent and depressing thing I just felt the need to get that out

My whole life I've never felt like this is this what it feels like to want to die, and nobody cares or believes you, so you never tell anyone and are very tempted to start self harm, and feel a deep weight on your chest thinking about everything you have done wrong so it makes you hate your self more so you don't care anymore and burst, but after you burst out it gets worse?..

It's so hard being "the funny friend"- I cant cry I can't let it out I can't express any emotion unless it's through jokes. It's not even all my friend's fault, I've become so used to being the overly hyperactive and ridiculous character that always does embarrassing shit that everyone can laugh at that I just slip into it. what makes it worse is that the things they find "funny" are often the things that cause me the most depression. it's funny sure, but it's embarrassing, and I don't deal with embarrassment like every other person. When i feel embarrassment I end up coming to school with bleeding wrists and bruises on my legs. I'm not supposed to feel anything but extreme levels of serotonin. how am I gonna tell them that that's the thing I lack the most.

I don’t really know what to do. I’m happy when I’m with my friends at school, but when I come home, I mostly lay in my bed, thinking about everything I’ve ever done wrong, which cause me to think about everything bad that could ever happen, “what if my friends leave me?”, “what if they don’t like me in the first place”, “Do they even care about me?” My parents are always working, and when they’re not, they spend time with my little sister or their friends, so they never have time to notice when I’m sad, or comfort me. I feel like the only person I can talk to is my best friend, she is the only one that comforts me when I’m sad. It’s weird how friends actually understands you better than your parents, they think they know you well, but actually they barely know you at all. Whenever I look myself in the mirror, these bad thoughts come back, “you’re ugly”, “you’re fat” “Maybe I get thinner if I don’t eat as much?” I feel insecure, sad, angry and tired, the only times where I actually am happy is when I’m with my best friend, she understands me, I feel like my father would understand me too, he also has some problems, like depression and anxiety, but I don’t know how to tell him about how I feel, it was hard enough to talk to my best friend about it too, it sucks. I have a perfect life, I have kind parents, I have friends, I’m not bullied, I live in a place with no war, yet, I’m barely happy, I don’t even know why I feel like this, I just do. I’m always tired, I don’t even remember a day that I wasn’t. I go to bed at 8 PM put I can’t fall asleep until 11 PM, mostly I don’t want to go to school, I want to sleep I don’t want to do homework, I want to sleep I don’t want to do anything else than sleep I either sleep or daydream, that’s what I do with life, every week is just repeating, over and over again Wake up 6 AM, go to school at 8 AM, go home at 3 PM, do some homework, draw a little, go to sleep for 5 minutes, eat dinner, try to sleep. I barely even hang out with my friends anymore, I just want to sleep. “Will they leave me?”, “I’m just a burden”, “no one likes me”, “I’m ugly and disgusting” I want to die, yet I don’t, cause what if someone actually cares about me, and I just pass down my pain to them. I want to die but I don’t even have a reason. Does anyone know how to get rid of these feelings, they’re really hard to handle, they come back every time I’m alone, or I’m the tiniest bit of upset. I just want to live a normal life, without these thoughts. I just want to be someone that people can be proud of, but I don’t know how. Thanks for wasting your time on reading this shit, I wrote it because I needed to get my feelings out, I mean, I don’t really have the courage to talk to someone in real life about it.

I think I got a new comfort playlist