CPTSD & HIGH MASKING AUTISM SERIES: 5 SIGNS YOU MAY BE AN UNDIAGNOSED AUTISTIC WOMAN | DR. KIM SAGE

1.labeled as sensitive 2.easily overwhelmed by sensory 3. highly affected by the moods of others 4.experience very strong emotions 5.detail oriented 6. difficulty dealing with change 7.love to learn for the sake of learning 8. require a lot of alone time 9. get sick easily and take a long time to heal 10. dislike small talk, but can pretend 11. can hyper focus on tasks they love

I have wondered this for so long. I question- “Do I have autistic symptoms because I was traumatized or was I traumatized because I am autistic?” I have done a lot of research and was going to undergo testing but it is very costly, and was afraid of being misdiagnosed. Yes, please do more videos on this.

Thank you! I'm a black woman from the UK. I'm 41 and my diagnosis for over 20 years have always been anxiety, OCD and depression. This week my therapist asked me some key questions about my sensitivities as a child. After my answers, she said that it was autism 101! Mindblown!

I've been working with Autistic people professionally for over 25 years without figuring out that I'm Autistic. We give the DSM a lot criticism and rightly so but the change in the way we approach autisim has directly allowed me and many others to access the adult autism community. Welcome to the community! Thank you for your vulnerability, I connect to your journey. Also I feel like the most female autistic part of the video is the constant apologizing for being excited about a new hyperfixation.

Was diagnosed as “high functioning “ autistic at 60 yrs old. A year later, still confused. Sensory triggers get me and always have. Sickly childhood and a Mom that was always afraid I would die. Never fit in anywhere, no one understands and depression sets in. Panic disorder, IBS, Esophageal Dysphasia. My coping is art, my Service Dog, gardening, and I’m a crazy chicken lady. Life is interesting.

Friend, you are talking about me. I am finally getting diagnoses at nearly 65 years old that are making my entire life make sense. This is incredibly valuable material, and I'm really looking forward to more!

I stopped trying to fit in long ago but it still hurts that I don't seem to fit in anywhere! I am happiest and most comfortable at home and always feel alien outside of that. This was a bullseye for me, I've never considered hf autism, only instead identified with hsp, anxiety, easily depressed, easily triggered, etc. This might be the start of a deeper understanding and acceptance of my strange self. Thank you 💙

OMG, I am overjoyed to have found you! I've spent the last three hours on New Year's Day binge watching your videos. Everything you have said here is "me" -HSP (back in the 50s being "sensitive" was not tolerated at all) -Significant childhood emotional/sexual abuse -I was a "cutter" as a child -Mother was also sexually abused in childhood and was off the rails. Angry, abusive. My Dad was my rock. -Myers Briggs: INFJ (Heyoka) -CPTSD diagnosis -Highly intuitive; I am an alternative intuitive healing practitioner -EVERY WEIRD SOUND drives me crazy, very strong emotions, and highly attuned to others' energies -In & out of therapy all through the 70's & 80's. Then I called a halt and learned to start loving and accepting myself. Lifetime endeavor. Now I am Zena Warrior Goddess... Everything you have shared in all of the videos I've watched today are me. Lots of tears of gratitude. I'm 65 now and what a great gift to start the New Year, knowing that I've discovered and integrated a huge part of myself ! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! ~Myrrh

Hello all of you beautiful humans--I am deeply moved and inspired by all of you in this comment section, and what you are sharing here with all of us. I keep reading your stories and honestly, it's been overwhelming. This is by far the scariest video I have ever posted, especially when you consider that before the last 3 years when I started here, I had never posted anything really online about myself or my family...nothing personal. I love you all so much, I really do -- it makes me quite emotional....thank you for being you, and I am sorry for all the pain and suffering your own lives have held...you are not alone, and it was never your fault. You and I were just wounded children, and then we were often just wounded children inside adult bodies seeking love and healing--- and in some places we received it, and in others we were traumatized again. I look forward to learning and sharing more together...I am reading and researching up a storm, and trying to map out how to share more! ♥🙏❤

Thank you for sharing. I was a very shy, quiet but happy and extremely creative child. My mother was the same. She killed herself in 1988. I was two years old. I nor my family members ever got any help for dealing with the trauma until me and my sisters were adults. My first burnout was when I was in college. I got diagnosed with CPTSD. I had 8 yaers of therapy and tried every drug you can think of. I was a dentist in Finland. Continued to burn out year after year and got treated by many doctors and therapists. A few years ago I got diagnosed with ADHD. I had demanding and borderline personality disorder and continued to burn out. I had to quit my job and got a profession in the laboratory field. I burnt out. A year ago my new doctor brought up autism. Yeah, five weeks I got officially diagnosed with autism. And trauma. Not everything is due to trauma although they do lap. After fifteen years with misdiagnosis, everything makes sense now. I'm trying to drop the masks and trying to figure out the real me. I know I'm very creative and have extreme interests. With ups and downs. I accept that now. I burn out around people and it's not going to change. I hope your video will help someone. I'm the person you are talking about. Sorry for my grammar. I'm not very good at English.

I never even really knew what autism was until my son was diagnosed. When I started my research about autism, I realized how much of it resonated with me and my life. I’m autistic…not diagnosed by a dr but I just know I am…it makes so much sense now.

This video is exactly what I was looking for. I’ve just turned 42 and it has been a HARD road to this point. Over the last few years I’ve diagnosed myself with C-PTSD, ADHD, and now I’ve self-referred for ASD. The first two have already been confirmed and I started medication for ADHD earlier this year but there are still questions. It’s so exhausting having to do all this work alone without - and often in spite of medical professionals’ support so being able to access others who are going through the same thing is such a great comfort and help. Thank you for doing this in the way you’re doing it xxx

Hi! It’s ME 👋 but only after having 3 autistic kids did I realize that not only did I have an incredibly abusive mother, but I had a terrible time trying to please the teachers and make friends all through school…which should have been my safe place.

69 yrs old and diagnosed with ASD. High anxiety. Chronic life abuse. Thank you for addressing these issues!!!

I can’t even begin to describe how I resonate with your videos. I’m over 40 and have just been recently diagnosed with ADHD. The psychiatrist said he also thinks I’m on the spectrum. You are putting in words so many things that are going through my head.

Look at this Kim! 1.7 thousand comments! You followed your intuition making this video and you were absolutely spot on about how much it was needed. Good on you!!! Bravo! I was diagnosed a year ago at the age of 54 with basically Aspergers (although they don’t call it that anymore) and ADHD. And I most certainly also have CPTSD. I did indeed love Elaine Aaron’s work on the highly sensitive person during the 90s. As I sat listening to this video, I just kept thinking oh, how I would love to have coffee with Kim. We would have SO much to talk about! I do hope that you continue to speak on this subject. As you can see, it has been not only well received, but it is much needed. There’s plenty that I could say here, but mostly, I just wanted to thank you for your courage in making this video, to ask you for more of this content and to sing your praises! Thank you for your courage and for listening to your intuition. When more of us do this, we all help one another more than we know! Keep in mind you were born to shine, and be exactly who you are. The world needs you exactly as you are. I am saying this now to all of you reading it. The world may have been cruel to you because you didn’t fit into their cookie cutter mold, but that’s because you are uniquely you and you have so much to share! I am sending so much love to each and everyone of you! 🙏🏻🥰

Thank you for your deep dive into this topic. I am a level 1 autistic women 50 yrs old. I did 1 yr psychodynamic therapy with a psychiatrist after being diagnosed with breast cancer. Realising something was deeply wrong, having masked all my life and trying to hide and deal with my childhood complexed trauma. I have also raised two sons single handed, one has undiagnosed Aspergers, he's 23 doing a masters in philosophy. My youngest son has just received a late dignosis ASD at 16 after having a psychotic episode. I too experienced the psychosis when l was 18. Thankfully my psychiatrist picked up on this, l was in therapy at the time. I was convinced l was a narcissist. Having put the dots together, l had a light switch moment and realised l have autism. This explained the strange fixations l have with special interests and not much need for social interaction. Feeling strange, not fitting in in work places. Being bullied in the work place masking depression and anxiety for most of my life. I am mixed race and sons are 3 quarter black. That explained why they slipped through the system going undiagnosed, due to biased education environment. I live in the UK, and finally felt like l found the missing Jigsaw puzzle. I spent my savings on going private during the lockdown to get an autism diagnosis. Which was mostly conducted online. I should have researched better but was desperate and the lady sounded nice on the phone, my naivety kicked in and l was misdiagnosed. This plummeted me into a spiritual of depression and feelings of suicide, l couldn't function l felt so burnt out. In the mean time my youngest was trying to adapt to being a teenager, on antipsychotic meds, thankfully he had an amazing psychiatrist who fast tracked him for his ASD screening. I had slipped into mild psychosis. Of which l have always experienced throughout my life, although lm able to manage it and get myself regulated. I haven't been able to go back to work since cancer, lockdown, therapy and the realisation that not only am l on the spectrum but l have raised two sons who also are. My extended family trauma is huge, l am seeing repeated cycles in my parents grandchildren. The system is very biased, honestly l don't like to think about it, my brains feels like a ball of wool all tangled. I have CPTSD from childhood trauma, and various life events, l also have ADD, which was removed from the DSM 5, leaving only ADHD! On a bright note, l have a tonne of special interests, including psychology that keep me regulated and focused. I now understand why my life has been the way its been. I'm better able to support my youngest son. I am so grateful that you understand and are diving deep. We need research papers articles, and more awareness of ASD in black and minority communities and how this looks when we are born into disfunctional environments, better screening for women in this category. I would like to go back to work, but currently suffer with avoidance due to trauma in my last work place, l had just started as a palliative nurse, newly qualified! My pin has now lapsed!! My life feels broken but at the same time l can see the rainbow 🌈 in the sky, o finally know what's wrong with me. I'm a high functioning autistic women who is f*** up in the most beautiful way, lm artistic, sensitive and very gifted in many areas. If anyone reads this thank you for listening to a little bit of My Story🌈🧞‍♀️🌹🥰

You are me. I’m a psychotherapist in Texas. I’ve been sickly my whole life. I was diagnosed with Lyme disease 8 years ago, and I’m pretty sure I’m level 1 autistic. I was so pleased that you shared about your daily struggles, because most therapists don’t share publicly like that. I don’t! I am afraid that my clients will see me as “broken“ and if they can’t trust me, how can I help them? The fact is that I have done more healing work than anybody I know. I am stable despite extensive CPTSD and other chaotic life challenges. I have been able to set my life up so I can function with my illness and my personality. I’m very high functioning. But underneath it all, there are days that I just don’t fucking feel good. (I don’t have any negative self talk anymore… all those neurotic unhealthy behaviors have been healed long ago. I still do personal work every day on communication, self-care, any triggers that might come up… Etc. ) But sometimes I just struggle with my body! Sometimes I struggle with being alone without a partner to help me. I don’t have a safe place to share this. Does anyone know of any support groups for high functioning, highly self-aware people who had a CPTSD past, highly sensitive, are probably on the autism spectrum, and who struggle with masking? Any help would be appreciated! Love, Paige

As an autistic/aspergers woman (diagnosed at 44) I just can't thank you enough for creating a series of videos about autism. I think this series will make such a difference to many, many autistic peoples mental health and may even save lives. As an experienced and eminent psychologist, you are helping us put our own thoughts and feelings into words and sentences that will then help us to communicate to others and feel so much more empowered. But I still can't find the words to thank you enough!! 😊😊

Hello. I consider myself an expert on autism. I actually have two boys on the autism spectrum. I have worked with professionals for the last decade to help them with their biochemical imbalances and to help them with their neuropsychiatric condition, sensory issues , social skills etc. Before I had children, I worked specifically with children with autism. I found them fascinating and interesting. I am currently working on getting SPED license. I am also currently being treated for CPTSD and decided to check out your video. Every single symptom you described regarding highly sensitive person and potentially autistic person is right on point! I do know the epigenetic roots of my children's autism. I know that my father was a behavioral geneticist, although I never met him. Watching your video helps me understand myself better. I am also sending it to my partner who often does not understand why I need so much alone time and why I am so sensitive. Thank you for posting this! Very helpful!!