The 2 kinds of NO CONTACT
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Published 2024-07-16
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All Comments (21)
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No-contact does not always bring grief. Often we already grieved not having an encouraging/supportive family member long before we go no-contact.
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when you start realizing that the more time you spend by yourself, you begin to actually feel better and are in a better mood, that's definitely a sign that you need to move on from certain people. there's no need to hear their excuses or explanations, because their actions have already spoken the truth, and provided you the closure you'll never get from them. i've found that my free time shouldn't be construed as an obligation to make myself available for people who wouldn't even jump over a puddle, when i used to swim across oceans for them. cheers from southern ontario, canada š
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Iāve heard it referred to as ādropping the ropeā. Once you stop doing all the labor of maintaining the relationship, you see how it just vanishes.
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Don't chase anyone. Family. Friends. Intimate partners. No one!
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No contact also means no response... to their gaslighting. Hard to do if you don't understand what's going on. Thank you for your wisdom Dr.
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For years my mother used to tell me "sometimes, most of the time, the best response is No response " just go on about your Life they Hate that ! For years I Never understood her words but as time went on with arrogant, self entitled folks, I began to see the truth of her words. But arrogant self entitled folks sometimes just aren't that easy to deal with. Safe Travels Everybody as we struggle to navigate these hidden landmine people
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No Contact will set you free...but it's not easy.
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Been no contact since 2019. Very difficult being totally alone, but worth it
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No contact is very hard but has made all the difference in my healing. The grieving of other family members around the situation is heartbreaking. I absolutely refuse to let that hinder my path forward. I'm steadfast in keeping my life private so the narc family members never have new information to go on. I'm growing, healing, healthier & happier than I have been in over 2 decades. I will never go back to that toxic system ever again.
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I hate how the narcs force us to cut them off, so they can STILL play the victim... Also, it's so amazing to me how society just can't ever accept "selfishness" as a possible reason for behavior. As if selfishness is forbidden as an explanation or even a possibility ... To me, selfishness is everywhere, yet we are "not allowed" to call it out...šā¤ā¤ā¤
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Yup!!! I have a trail of these people in my rearview mirror. Itās amazing how easily they fell out of my life once I stopped feeling like I should be maintaining the friendship.
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I broke off contact with my narcissistic sister 22 years ago. Unfortunately it also meant no contact with the rest of my family. Nobody even cared and nobody has ever reached out to me in all that time. It's just like I'm invisible and don't exist
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I am in no contact with a narcissist sister in law who emotionally abused and verbally assaulted me, after years of repeatedly hurtful behaviours. She never changes, apologizes nor is held accountable. She lies about what happens to try to turn my brother against me. My family enables her under the guise of wanting family together. I donāt care anymore and keep my boundaries for my well being. Focusing on my life. Thank you Dr Ramani ā¤
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I was the scapegoat in a narcissitic family, The one thing I could always count on was that I could not count on them. In the end I remember my father saying I would be the one to keep the family together. He wasn't concerned with me. He would have been just as happy if I was living in the gutter. Same with my brother. He was only concerned with my sister. Sorry, bud, that train left the station a long time ago. You reap what you sow.
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Dr. Ramani, you are a good soul
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You are really such a blessing. There are so many people talking about narcissism and it seems like a confusing jungle of information. And then we have you as a trustworthy scientist sharing your knowledge with us for free. You are helping so many people who might not find help even if they reach out. Thank You so much! ā¤
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No contact is like we're looking at them but don't "see" them.
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In hindsight in almost all of my relationships only āIā existed. Needless to say I have dropped all of them. Such a relief.
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They have become ādeadā to me. Itās very difficult and hurtful, causing life-long grief.
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I didnāt want no contact. For a decade they shunned me. Then when I stopped trying ācontactā them, they began the hoovering. Then I dared to tell the narc āno.ā She told me I was dead to her. She Hoovered for a couple more years. I ignored her. Flying monkeys have since tried hoovering. Ignored. No explanation offered. Iām not doing it to hurt people. Iām doing it to live in peace.