What to Get for a Cancer Patient

Also, the people who dropped by just long enough to scoop the cat box every few days and take my garbage to the road were my heroes. Thanks, Carole and Heather!

Hello from a survivor to a future survivor!

As someone who has autism, having it spelled out in such a crystal clear way is immensely helpful, more than you can know. Thank you.

"friendships don't happen if you don't work on them" is such good advice that everyone needs to hear even if they aren't sick!!!

Also if you want to give someone flowers, MAKE SURE THEY ARE SAFE FOR ANY PETS THEY MAY HAVE!!! Don’t add an emergency vet visit to their list of stress and expenses

As a person with chronic illness who has been the sick one people took care of and also the one not knowing how to support my aunt through her chemo, I agree with all this advice. Hank, may your Pringles be salty and never crumble when you use them to make a duck bill.

Hello Hank, I'm an oncology nurse and I want to save this video to send to all my patients' friends and family members each time they ask us this question on what they can do. Thank you for advocating for yourself and for so many other patients. You are living with this yet still choosing to focus on educating -- you are such a remarkable human and we are grateful for you.

As someone who watched a parent suffer (and pass) from cancer, having my neighborhood, neighbors I had never actually met until my teens because of my mom's illness, coming together to help cook while my dad worked and made sure my mom got the care she needed was the biggest blessing my family's ever had. I'm glad you mentioned it first <3

My mom often gifts cleaning. She was a professional house cleaner for years so she'll go to the family and ask "What do you need cleaned that you don't have the energy for?". Pretty much everyone always has SOMETHING that bugs them but they don't have time for, and living in a clean house makes you feel better. She would usually go by once a week while the person was sick and clean whatever they needed cleaned and I'd go with her to keep the person company.

Yes! When I was diagnosed with colon cancer I had one friend just go off on me because I’d agreed with my doctor to have surgery. Got a full lecture (in a very loud and insistent voice) that all I should do was eat healthy, drink lots of water and take lots of vitamins. Tried to explain to her that I had cancer throughout the colon, it wasn’t going to just disappear. She just kept lecturing me. I finally just left her house. She’d been the person I first wanted to share with. Never knew she was so anti-medical before. And, no. we no longer see each other.

I was my mom's caregiver, she passed from stage 4 cancer. I bought her plastic utensils and wood chopsticks, because she always had a metallic taste in her mouth from chemo. When I worked while she was getting her treatments, she would tell me what she was craving - so I showed up with what she was craving. My sister would always come by with Taco Bell bean tostadas (that was her favorite since it was bland). Always check in and get them whatever they want, it brings them so much joy for what they are going through. (Oh, and please check in on caregivers - towards the end, I struggled just to take a shower. The people who would just sit with my mom just so I could have coffee and brush my hair were the absolute best!)

As a cancer daughter, and a cancer mom, this is all fantastic advice. My husband and I have said we have never felt more supported, but also so devastatingly alone than helping our now 5 year old through her treatment. Checking in, especially LATER is huge advice. You’ve got this, Hank!

My bandmate had pancreatic cancer. It was painful to watch how totally clueless people could be. You are so right ask what they want. When we played WFMU he walked up four flights of stairs with his gear. It was important to him that he did that. He did his stuff on his own terms. Even the last time I saw him. He walked in. He was such a bad ass.

My grandma finished radiation today and this is the exact video I needed. Thank you Hank, I hope you're feeling okay, and DFTBA

Feels so good to see you talking about this. When my mother had cancer when I was a kid, she got so sick of people asking "Is there anything I can do?" that she wrote tasks down on little cards and got them to pick one. Things like going out with a shopping list to pick up our Christmas presents, or fold some laundry, or vacuum, or take us kids to the cinema. Offering to do something like that would be a good place to start, depending on how well you know the person.

The number of people who ghosted my mom when she was fighting cancer— I was shocked. Also, these are great tips for people who are dealing with grief as well.

My sister is cancer free (9 years) from Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I texted her every day. I didn’t expect a text back. I didn’t ask how she was. She was terrible. I just updated her about my kids, sent a joke, updated her. Then I brought meals. Many many meals and filled her freezer. She didn’t eat them, but she was able to easily make her kids a meal and she could still be a Mom and take care of them. Great advice. Great video. Thank you 🙏 It was a bad part of her story but now it’s in the past. I hope one day it will be in your past too.

As a cancer survivor, you're spot on with your advice. One point you didn't cover, but i think is important. If you need pain meds to manage your pain, take your meds. Don't be "strong" or "I can stuff it out". If you're worried about taking any medication, talk to your doctors. Hoping for your speedy recovery. ❤

I accompanied a friend through all his journey with cancer, i even bathed him when he ran out of strength. Sadly he passed away, but he never complained and the last thing he said before going was "everything is going to be fine". Every time we went to chemo or to the medical check-ups, he made people laugh with his jokes. I learned a lot with the time we spent together, such a strong man. Nice video, man, lots of valuable advice.

It’s not the same as sickness, but I am Ukrainian with many family and friends back home while I live abroad. The first week/month the wat started, everyone was very sympathetic and offered help. But as time goes on people forget to check in. It doesn’t really get easier for me to live with, but it’s easy for those who don’t live it to grow further apart from me. So when you are supporting someone through difficult time that is going to last for a while, just remember that it means a ton to have that consistency and longevity of support.