"Bad Texter" or Just Not That Into You? | Matthew Hussey

Remember that non-communication IS communication. Don't be someone's afterthought.

If he’s interested, you’ll know. If you are wondering, he’s not. Period.

Simple. You make time for the things you want and excuses for the things you don't.

In early stages, it is sometimes hard to gauge a lack of interest (if they are dating multiple people) or being more laxed at texting. Especially if they are on social media quite a bit. But then again I realized, 80% of the time if I'm watching Matthew to find an answer, the guy just isn't that interested.

Matthew: "Do you find yourself in the early stages of dating right now and feeling increasingly frustra---" Me: "YES."

I don’t believe the whole “bad texter” thingy, if they’re interested enough they’ll call or arrange meeting you! So😌

Many men say they have to work so much, but honestly...everybody has 5 minutes to text back. If He doesn't have 5 minutes to text you back, he doesn't have time for a relationship neither.

If they’re bad at texting but they’re interested in you, they’ll find ways to communicate. Audio call, video call, setting up many dates to see you. If you just don’t hear from them at all, just know they don’t care that much :)

You won’t be confused with a guy that likes you. Bottom line.

Consistency is the 🗝️ word! There can be bad texters and good ones. The red flag is someone who is texting a lot in the start and then gradually less and less and in the end hardly even reply.

Most of the times the same guy that claims to be bad at texting ultimately watches all your social media stories. We all know they are not bad at texting they just dont care. Thanks Matthew

"If he's interested then you'll know, if he's not you'll wonder" thats been true with texting for me. Especially with apps and so many options, you'll know if youre his top person or a "backup"

Dating was just so much easier before the whole texting culture. We used to wait for the guy to call and never gave it a second thought. My late husband would call me on a Wednesday night to make plans for Saturday night. I never stressed about not hearing from him in-between. It's just the way it was. There is such a thing as over communicating. I'm learning if you are secure in yourself the whole texting thing doesn't matter.

I used to believe "if he liked me then he'd text me more often" because that's the way MY brain works, but after studying psychology and talking to my happily married friends, there genuinely are guys who, despite having strong feelings for someone, just don't like texting. They may think about their person everyday, but don't feel the need to text them/don't feel connection from texting. They use texting purely as a means to plan things. So just because YOU text someone when you like them, it doesn't mean everyone is wired that way! We all have different brains and different ways of expressing affection. (But also obviously if a guy rarely texts you it can be a sign he's not interested. It all depends on the person)

It’s not about texting or call. It’s about getting to know me and getting to know him. You can’t get to know someone infrequently.

I was in a situationship with a guy for two months. He texted me once in a week, we saw each other once every two weeks. But at the end, I realised that despite we had a kind of dates, I really don't know anything about the everyday of this person neither he knows about mine nor he ask about it. After a short new years' message, that we exchanged. I decided that I won't invest in this type of relationships anymore. If he's a bad texter or whatever, he still can call me or try to be more in touch with me asking for my day. Maybe he's not that into me, so I have to move on.

Please ladies, listen, you were given intuition. Listen to it. If a guy is into you, you’ll know… but stay into you first and always. Keep going out with your friends. Doing what you enjoy. We are not that needy that we need someone to tell us they love us at breakfast, lunch and dinner. If I was a guy, I would find this off putting if I had to text to make a woman secure. As a woman, I hate texting but if I am interested in someone, I’ll make an effort and send voice messages or little videos. On the other hand, I am confident enough to know that if someone isn’t that interested in me, then it is their prerogative. It doesn’t diminish who I am. Of course, I get disappointing, no one likes rejection but hey, plenty of good guys out there…. It is just a matter of time. A bad texter isn’t the real problem. If you were a priority or if he was remotely interested, he would find the right way of communicating… you don’t need to have conversation about it, even in joking. You’ll know deep down. Matt is right. Confidence is the key to everything. We may have to work at it for a while, but oh boy, once we have it, we are like magnets 😄

If a man is interested, even an older man, he will do what it takes to get to know you. The medium is not the issue.

This was deeper than I expected. When he says (paraphrasing) that when we don’t feel worthy of good treatment we don’t state what our needs are that hit close to home. Didn’t realize that was my core emotion / belief, but it’s ultimately why I never say what I want or need.

This is very useful, thanks! What happens to me over and over... I text with a guy, at the beginning it's a great frequency, we start going out, let's say it lasts for 2 months and then poof, it's decreasing. I'm a very straight-forward person, so usually I ask if everything is okay, if he wants to still meet me. They answer - of course I want to!, but communication is still decreasing to the point we are not going out anymore. I feel that guys I'm meeting never admit that they are not interested anymore and then I'm there frustrating over it. And I'm not angry that someone is not interested anymore, just I like it communicated, not having a hope and wasting my time