The MANY ways you are TESTED in narcissistic relationships

Even if you pass a narcissist’s test, you still fail.

You'll never win in a narcissist relationship unless you leave

Narcissists will test you when you’re not even there and are completely unaware there’s a test. And you failed that test too.

My malignant narc mother would rage and scream "you"re testing me!" when she wouldn't get her way. Typical projection! No one was testing her, but since SHE tests people, she assumes everyone does.

A narc testing someone is such a pathetic way to relate to someone and live imo.

I realize how much this particular narcissist I'm dealing with has really tested my dignity and morals. There's a lyric in a Taylor Swift song "You caged me and then you called me crazy". For me, I've behaved in ways in this narcissistic relationship that I'd never do in a healthy relationship. Then, of course, I'm called out as toxic in response to the narcissists's own toxic behavior, behavior that is never acknowledged. The frustration is overwhelming to say the least. Thank you for the last phrase, "You're gonna get it wong, anyhow." 😅 So, so true. Those words were a much needed bit of daily healing for this caged lady. 💙

Oh, yes I have been tested. And when I don't give the right answer, I am not a 'supportive person' and not a 'good family member'.

I truly believe that the phrase, “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” perfectly encapsulates being in a narcissistic relationship.

This video had me laughing out loud, Dr. Ramani. 😂They are such children/babies with their tests. They act like they are so self-sufficient but they are, in reality, so needy.

My ex was good at this.. also bread crumbing , future faking& bait & switch... I still carry the pain 10 years later

"Trying to make themselves look more virtuous." Yup. That's the narcissist's main goal while they're not angry.

I am a teacher, so I give tests, I set the tests, and so desire my students to pass, such joy. However when a narcissist "gives you a test' they really want you to fail so they can do their next steps: gaslight, rage, devaluing belittling smear campaign.....demons 👿......Lord have mercy help!!!! Persevering in Prayers Psalms 1-150🤲👍👑🇯🇲🙏

I really believe Dr Ramani could become a standup comedian. I know these kinds of stories, and all their variations, very well - and love the way she managed to retell them with a comedic tone and perspective 🙂

I guess this would be considered a 'test.' My narcissistic mom would always play this 'Lucy and Charlie Brown football' game with me every time I would come home to visit her at the holidays. She would say, "When I die, what heirloom would you like?" She didn't really have anything of value to me, but I would be polite and play along. I would say "I'll take this lamp (that I had bought for her) and she would say, "I'm giving that to so and so." Then, I would suggest something else, and of course, that thing would be going to someone else. Every year she would do this. I dreaded this game. So finally, one year, I just said, "I don't really want anything." She then suggested that I take some 'artwork' that she had created in a class. Nobody wanted her mediocre 'art.' She never supported us, her children, in our creative endeavors, just pooh poohed everything. So to conclude this game forever, I agreed to take her 'artwork" knowing that I would throw it in the trash when she was gone. Crazy-making.

My ex constantly accuses me of not caring. This video helped me realize that it wasn't me that wasn't caring, it was her projecting her uncaring behavior onto me. Thank you.

“I’m your mother!” is the response that means I’m supposed to be obedient, subservient, and disrespected.

My son gave my phone number to a man who rang me and asked to meet with me after hearing about the situation of the 'church' and the destruction on my family. I agreed to meet and we met at a restaurant. We had a lovely meal and he turned to me at the end and said, "You're so easy to talk to". He invited me to his waterfront home in the Gold Coast for a break, so I accepted knowing his children were living at home and there was a spare room. We went to church services together and I interacted with his children. He offered me the use of his car as he worked during the day. What happened was that his children saw a healthy, no strings relationship which I believe left a permanent mark on them. It's easy to talk to people when there's no hidden agendas.

Absolutely true. It's sadistic.

Oml ! It’s like being in films you didn’t even know you were the character to master the script !

"You're gonna get it wrong anyhow." Wow, exactly spot on!! 🎉