Why Do I Self-Harm After a Breakup?

I dated a guy with pretty intense BPD who was absolutely damaged at the end of our relationship. But it confused me so much because he was the one who was constantly cheating on me and wouldn’t take accountability for it. I literally did nothing wrong… just watched a twisted psychological cycle unfold before my eyes.

i relapsed with self harm recently, repeatedly, after a man i was romantically invovled with cheated on me. i completely understand the difficulty of these situations; thank you so much for being so honest about your experiences.

It’s insane how much I relate to this... keep posting pls this really helped open my eyes I didn’t notice the pattern until now.. thank you.

Hey gorgeous! Love ur honesty. U rock! Xxx

I relate to this so much but idk if I meet the full criteria for BPD. For me, the thought process goes to suicide more than self-harm cause I hate pain.

This was a rzally good video, I really connect with the vulnerability you display.

I’ve self harmed with visible scars 4 times, (not including times when there’re no marks left). And twice for guys, once for a combination of low mood and a friend stopping talking to me. Since I’m allergic to the tetanus shot it’s too risky to cut. I’m self harm free for more than 2 years I think.

Leo, are you in any way spiritually inclined? I used to have a lot of BPD traits, and only after a spiritual awakening did I realize the thoughts I'd have that told me I was worthless, ugly, unlovable, etc, etc weren't really my own thoughts. Like Buddhists say about us not being our thoughts, but we are the one who is observing those thoughts. It takes practice, but we can learn how to recognize those thoughts as interference from dark energies. And how to tune into the thoughts that tell us we are loved, we are worthy, and we are going to be okay. People with childhood trauma are especially vulnerable to these thoughts, yes, bc you've been abandoned and it's a response to emotional triggers....but there's more to it. The people who hurt us take a bit of our soul's "light energy" and leave us with their darkness. That's what trauma from abuse is, spiritually speaking. Sadly, that's why so many abusers prey on children: there's more pure light to be taken. I'm a big fan of Marsha Linehan's radical self acceptance aspect of Dialetical Behavior Therapy (I used to be a psychotherapist). We all have flaws, but we are all worthy of unconditional love. I'm not into religion, and was an atheist till age 36, but that's faith really is: believing we are loved UNCONDITIONALLY by something we can't see. Over time, that faith grows into recognizing signs (synchronicities) from that higher power that prove to us this is true. Some are able to hold conversations with that being in their mind, and many feel a love like none other fill them up or ask for burdens of anxiety to be lifted and as if by magic, they are. The first obstacle to overcome is the false belief that we aren't worthy of such a love. You are. A odd string of synchronicities led me to stumbling across your channel. I don't believe in coincidence, only signs and clues from the universe. You seem like a genuinely thoughtful and sincere young man who's been through a lot. I'm a medium, and can see an inner bright light shining from within you. I hope you find inner peace. Remember we can't control anything in the external world directly, but we can forge a better path for ourselves by healing our trauma, nurturing our perfectly imperfect selves, and in being of service to others. Love is stronger than fear, and light always overcomes darkness. ❤️💛💚💙💜