ADHD or Trauma Noise? - 4 Examples

"....Children are expected to be amazing, self-sufficient little adults without getting any help." Wow, so much yes.

When I was hospitalized as a teen the presiding doctor tentatively diagnosed me with PTSD, OCD, ADHD, and MDD. After hearing this my parents immediately called a meeting with him and the next time I saw him he had me as “Oppositional Defiance Disorder”. My parents gaslit him into placing the blame for the abuse back on me. It was a really difficult time and I felt so invalidated it has been hard for me to address any of my current needs in the mental health department.

15:40 "Children of neglect live in anxiety and overwhelm because life is all on them." 😔

I honestly hadn't realized until this video that it's normal for parents to help with stuff like making sure projects get done, or preparing us for real life experiences like adulting. Mine were no help with any of that. One parent's style of trying to help was blame and anger that we were having problems. And the other made it easy for us to hide all that from the angry parent. I've always wondered why I've not done well with adulting. I assumed that everyone learns on their own and I must just naturally be bad at it. But apparently some parents actually guide their children through that. What an interesting thought.

Every time I watch one of your videos 1. I feel understood 2. I learn something important 3. I feel better on that day than I did before watching. Thank you, Patrick 🌻

Yes. Cleaning at a party as if I don’t I don’t deserve to be there. If I’m not helpful I can’t take up space. Which means I can never truly enjoy my time anywhere. Feeling like one mistake at work will equal to being fired even tho my bosses have never treated me that way. One mistake means I’m undeserving Not waiting anyone to do for me because I feel I might disappoint them and they might hold it over my head one day. I do for others but no one can do for me and when they do I literally don’t know how to act So many things…

The stuff about social awkwardness hit home. My family was so chaotic that I never knew how to do anything but offend or be offended.

One of the most important things my mental health team got me to understand is that childhood trauma becomes essentially a developmental disorder if it's own.

The "didn't get the handbook" feeling is so real! My family was very religious, and we were all homeschooled, so once I went to high school as a teen, and then to college, I REALLY had no idea what other people my age were talking about sometimes, leading to a lot of humiliation and shame.

I don't even know why, but I always end up crying while watching one of your videos... I'm not in a situation where I can afford to go to therapy, but your videos have helped me get my life together a bit. I can't even begin to express how grateful I am. Thank you so much for everything you're doing. I wish you all the best in life.❤️

I'm 38, and I had no idea why I felt so separate. I figured I was just weird, and didn't fit in anywhere. I understand that i had been trained to normalize and minimize so many events in my life, and was never truly able to make friends, because my home was nothing like the kids I met, and now that I am no longer able to push it out of my head, I don't know how i ever believed i had a good childhood. I never thought anybody could understand my crazy weird mind, and it's so surreal to hear the exact same thoughts that have crossed my mind thousands of times set out loud by A perfect stranger.

Working at a bank, the example of the expired debit card explains a LOT about why some people freak out about a card that isn't working, and how validated and relieved they feel when I tell them that their account is fine and it's just a technical issue that causes the problem. I love watching these videos because they help explain why many people may be triggered over certain seemingly minor things, and it helps me be more empathetic in my work

I never thought about the decision thing until now! I always have trouble with really small choices like deciding what I want from a drive thru. This video reminded me that when I was a kid, my mom would get upset with me if I picked the wrong thing - if I didn't pick what she thought I wanted, it would start a whole fight. It sounds crazy, but it always became a big deal and was really stressful. I'm realizing that things are hard for us for a reason and the best thing we can do is just be kinder to ourselves. My boyfriend always parks in the lot and brings up the menu on his phone for me. It's really the little things that help you feel seen and cared for.

Still have the startle response and can’t have multiple sound sources without getting derpy

I never thought of myself as having childhood trauma, in fact I always describe my childhood as very vanilla and almost picture perfect. However, over the years in my struggle to figure out “what’s wrong with me”, trying to understand what makes us behave the way we do, and being convinced that I had a form of ADHD (ADD, or inattentive type ADHD), I became engulfed in the world of trauma and the neuroscience behind it all. I now believe that my childhood did cause me some trauma, and perhaps in the most subtle way of just not having emotionally responsive and communicative parents. I can not remember any specific trauma in my life, but I can remember always having a lack of confidence and difficulty communicating. I have constant self talk going through my head and I am full of self doubt. This video was so eye opening and I believe that trauma noise is what is keeping me from reaching my full potential and living my best life. Thank you! Your videos are so helpful and informative!

Oh my god this is so true!!! I always told myself that I needed a tutor, someone to show me the way. But it turns out everything I needed was a mother or a father to help me. Now I know...

I have struggled with not being able to relax, and it really shows during moments when I have nothing to stress or worry about and nothing is going on. I always feel like so much is going on. I enjoy listening to music, but music feels so overstimulating. I need silence often.

Emotional dysregulation is absolutely a part of ADHD. The DSM took that out even though it’s been recognized as a hallmark of ADHD since the first writings about it in the early 1909s. It’s a controversial area, but should absolutely be in the shared part of the Venn diagram.

This is such an important discussion. I’m a mental health provider (psych PA) with childhood trauma (emotional neglect, religious trauma) and a late diagnosis of ADHD (age 34). I regularly have a discussion with any patients I diagnose with ADHD about the overlap of these symptoms and encourage them to also work with a therapist as we try to understand the source of their symptoms. I see ADHD as a type of nervous system a person is born with (and therefore we can see evidence from early childhood and usually in the family history). Undiagnosed ADHD is a trauma of its own, but many kids with ADHD are also exposed to family systems that result in trauma as well. I often encourage patients to pursue treatment for both since they can be so hard to tease apart (and I have first hand knowledge). When I first began to understand the magnitude of my struggles (after my ADHD diagnosis and more research into childhood trauma) I considered leaving practice. The thought still crosses my mind (due to concern that I am not actually well enough to help other navigate), but I know that feeling understood has tremendous healing benefit and understanding is something I can offer. Thank you for such an interesting and important discussion! I refer patients to your channel often - so nice to have a resource they can access easily and start the healing journey. ❤️

When I was 16, I saw the movie Titanic. At the scene where everyone was in the ocean screaming, it shocked me, because I'd heard that noise before - but only in my head. I wanted to turn to my friend in the theater and tell him, but didn't think he would understand. I like this term "trauma noise." Very appropriate.