Letting Go of Control and Rethinking Support for Autistic Individuals | Amy Laurent | TEDxURI

Forcing us who are autistic to modify our behaviour (to make other people more comfortable) is like forcing an NT person to learn not to smile when they are happy

this is THE ONLY video on autism I've seen that features an actual spectrum of autistic people, particularly adults. We constantly see children with so-called behavioral issues but never autistic adults with a RANGE of traits. I love this.

This is so disturbing, I have no words. I had no idea of the level of mistreatment of children on the autism spectrum. When I took kiddo to his first (and only) sensory integration session, I thought we were just unlucky with the therapist. She completely overwhelmed the toddler by touching him vigorously (who would like a stranger touching them at all, right?), and when he completely lost it at the end, screaming like he was skinned alive, she told me to firmly tell him not to misbehave! She even started off saying she had sensory issues, as well, so I cannot comprehend her lack of empathy and common sense. Parents, protect your children!

The other thing that was breezed past (I'm assuming due to time constraints) is the scary reality that when you train anyone for compliance, when you train them to be pliable to powerful or authoritative people, you open up a person to be abused by those in authority over them. When you train sensitive persons to know that the way they are is Less Important than others, then some will try to avoid all social conflicts by being a people-pleaser, or by never questioning authority, or staying silent in abusive situations. Compliance training, is a step on the path of grooming of abuse victims.

Wow, yeah, trying to fix my autism by telling me to stop twiddling my fingers is kind of like trying to fix a broken leg by getting a haircut.

Amy, THANK YOU. We must switch the focus from behavior management to emotional regulation! This forms the basis of my recommendations for all school systems, so that we stop contributing to iatrogenic PTSD for our neurodivergent students.

"Treating" autism by encouraging masking shows such a narrow minded view of autism. It's not about making the person feel better, it's about making them fit in and not be disruptive to "normal" people.

Amy Laurent, I love this presentation so much. It is so evident that you have listened to autistic individuals, and have grasped what is important. As a nonspeaking autistic, so much of my youth and childhood was spent working on programs which were meant to help me. I learned to keep my hands quiet, my mouth quiet, my shoulders still, my eyes "nice" (no squinting), and "a nice calm body"---but at the cost of starting to have meltdowns at age 15. It was devastating, because I was blamed for loosing my cool, but really, I lost control of my body because I was denied the coping strategies that helped me stay in control of my body (I flap, squint, hop, hum, chatter, flick my shoulders up and down...). Further, it was humiliating to be confined to behaving in ways that others deemed appropriate. I realize that the person who designed my program meant well, but she did not understand my nervous system, and the dysregulation her strategies led to. Thank you so much for putting the word out.

Seriously. I was turned away from a domestic violence shelter because I was having a meltdown after what must have been a minor understanding during the intake paperwork. I was signing documents I didn't understand and I was wanting them to go slower but I was crying. I had arrived in crisis after fleeing with my life. I was able to go to a regular non domestic violence homeless shelter but I was kicked out for a meltdown after some bullying from other homeless woman. Attributed my meltdown to drug abuse or recalcitrance or something. At the time I did not have an Autism diagnosis and I was completely disenfranchised and disempowered from getting one. I had three strikes against me at the homeless shelter one of which was that I failed to get myself on the correct Medicaid without any help, which I was trying to do to get a diagnosis so that I could ask for more accommodations at the shelter which was going to kick me out before I realized. The second strike was a meltdown and the third strike was another meltdown.

Amen. I am newly diagnosed at 49. Women are underrecognized, undersupported. I work as a teacher (HS) and know the whole thing needs revamping. Very difficult for NTs to accept.

How many times have you seen people in the stands at a sporting event jumping and flapping when they're excited. We all have some "stim" that helps us express our feelings or soothes us when we are overstimulated. It's time we all acknowledge this and embrace it for the well being of everyone.

Thank you for this - I'll be sharing it all over the place. I was given ABA "therapy" throughout my education, and it made me inherently unable to stand up for myself, I panic at confronting authority and I can't properly communicate - even though I'm pretty eloquent when I'm not overstimmed or triggered (I also have PTSD from my older brother, and high school teacher using physical intimidation).

As a Mom whose 3 year old just got diagnosed with autism. I am so grateful I came across this

Thank you, Amy, for emphasising our needs! There is so much PTSD in autistic adults because our needs were disrespected, boundaries violated, and "self regulating behaviour" suppressed, just to keep the NT caregivers/teachers/society accept [the heavily masked version of] us. Even now, with health care providers, the amount of gaslighting we face when we emphasise/ask for accomodations is unreal - so thank you for helping us turn the Trend.

When you're talking about the distracting hand flapping, I can't help but think of my autistic niece who's a competitive gymnast. Before a gymnast starts a routine, and they haven't saluted to a judge yet, they're supposed to be able to squirm and do whatever they want (seriously, this is the time you usually see them pick wedgies and such). Anyway, my niece hand flaps, but once she salutes, she pulls it all together. A judge docked her for this hand flapping, and when asked about it by one of the coaches the judge said it was too distracting... Even though that does not line up with the rules at all. So now, if you watch my niece closely before saluting to the judge, you'll see her toes wiggling like crazy. My biggest frustration with this, is that if my niece "looked" less "neurotypical" it wouldn't have been an issue. Regardless, it shouldn't have been an issue.

The flapping and jumping and rocking is comforting. All those ‘ticks’ are comforting. They are very functional, and if punished often lead to depression and anxiety. Also 7:15 I want that fidget

I come away feeling people on the spectrum are showing us there is another way to be who we are naturally And question why must I be made to comply to a system that does not allow individuality.. I want to express natural happiness like jumping up and down. I am not a robot without a heart. I am a heartfelt human being wanting true freedom of expression with a loving intent. We need more people like this professional to lead the way with these kids & adults They need understanding rather than controlled behaviors. Raun Kaufman has great ideas that should be shared here.

I hope Cory is okay? Or was he part of the group invited? Thank you for featuring adults. It gives me hope for my young son 🙏❤️

I really appreciate that you went into your profession with so much openness and inquiry. More voices like yours are so needed. Thank you.

As a mother with one child who has autism and is non-verbal and another child with what used to be called Mr is now considered intellectual disabilities I am so grateful and appreciative for this video because you clearly expressed what I have been unable to say to the people providing the ABA therapy for my son over the last six weeks and we have literally argued repetitively but now I can concise the express to them why were arguing I'm coming from a different perspective than they are so thank you so much for this information.