Pronouns: why we should not play along.

May I ask what you would do if you said "I have no special requests" and someone misgendered you ?

My brother and I just lost both of our jobs at the same time because we would not give in to the pressure of putting our pronouns in our bios. We stood our ground for truth.

Pronouns are the gateway drug to a larger ideology. Our kindness and politeness is weaponized against us.

You know, I think "I have no special requests" is honestly the PERFECT way to handle it. Thank you very much for the advice! 🙏

When asked for my pronouns I say “ I have no special requests “and if they push I tell them I have no desire to dictate your speech. Use whatever pronouns you want for me and if they aren’t correct I promise I will not crumble

"I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?" ~ Dave Chappelle

I love it when people use their pronouns in their bios. It helps me weed out people I don't want on my team during the hiring process.

“The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words” — Philip K. Dick.

If they control your language, they can control you. You put this so much more thoughtfully than I could.

The pronoun thing is the thin wedge of speech control under the disguise of "politeness." And politeness is a choice, not socially enforced. It's a huge, narcissistic burden to place upon other people, and I will never do it for anyone.

On a medical form it asked me 4 different ways what my gender & "sex" was. I wrote "vagina" where it asked "sex". This form was so ridiculous I decided to write in big letters over the entire section: "If my body was exhumed and a DNA analysis was done, it would be indisputable that I was a woman. I was born with a female reproductive system and therefore I am female. As indicated, I am a "Mrs" who has birthed 2 children. If you have further questions on this topic, let me know so I can find another doctor".

I was asked to share my pronouns at a "training" and I declined. I was ostracized and alienated and targeted at work afterwards, but I do not care. It was disturbing and felt like high school all over again with people trying to force some element of conformity onto me. That was my attitude 7 years ago and it is my attitude now.

"There is no swifter route to the corruption of thought than through the corruption.of language." (George Orwell) Cults use your vocabulary but they don't use your dictionary.

When my professor asked for pronouns for the class, most the class didn’t give them. One girl gave her first name and said “shehim” and the professor asked for her last name… HER LAST NAME WAS SHEHIM! I ALMOST DIED LAUGHING! THAT POOR GIRL!

I usually stop talking and avoid these people as much as possible. When they ask me for my pronouns, I pretend I don’t understand, then I let them explain it to me. “What are you talking about?” Then I make sure to ridicule them for what ever answer they give me and mock them for bringing up such an absolutely, foolish piece of nonsense. I say things like, “What’s wrong with you? Where did you come up with such useless idea?”  I’m in my 50’s so most of the time they just think that I’m just unaware and I get away with it. But there are some that get insulted and literally start calling me names. But I don’t care. I just laugh because I like me just fine. You’re thinking to much. If others start to push at requesting pronouns, and I’m pushed to answer, I simply say “No.”  “But we need your pronouns.” I say, unapologetically, “I said No, are you deaf? Mind your own business.” I usually say “Get away from me.” and I might even add the word…”nutjob.” It all depends on my mood. I have zero patience for this nonsense, I have no filter and I could care less about their feelings or their opinion of me. I find the question insulting, so I treat them like they’ve insulted me. That’s the way it should be. A few years ago, I had to attend a meeting for our downtown association. There were approximately 20 people there, and the President of the board, introduced herself and added, “…and my pronouns are “she, her”  WTF? She went around the room, asking people to introduce themselves and the rest followed suit. But you could tell that they just did it not to cause trouble . At about the 5th person, they didn’t automatically give her their pronouns, so she said, “And your pronouns are….?” ……so the man questioningly responded with, “He, him?” After that, each person would just say, she, her or he, him.   I was about the third to the last to introduce myself, I gave my name and the name of my business. And of course she said, “….and…what are your pronouns?” “My pronouns? What’s with this pronoun thing anyway? What’s wrong with you people? Do any of you know why you’re even giving her these pronouns?” Silence. The President said, “Just give us your pronouns so we can move on.”  Lady, if you can’t figure our whether these people are men or women you need new glasses.”  She had made everyone feel uncomfortable and obligated to comply, so when I said that, everyone laughed. It got rid of that awkward tension in the room. She got all pissy, and asked me again, with authority this time for my pronouns. I told to her to mind her own damn business, and to do her job and stop with this foolish pronoun nonsense. Uncomfortable silence again. The woman was literally a crazy person, and told me that if I was not willing to participate, that I could leave. I told her, again, to mind her own business, and do her damn job, I’m not giving you these foolish pronouns and I’m not going anywhere, get on with the meeting.  It was really quiet then. Everyone was really uncomfortable. You’re right, people like her are self righteous and entitled. They think that you must comply or you’re the enemy.   Next she tells me, Either you participate or leave, the meeting will not go forward unless you give us your pronouns or leave!! It’s one or the other!! I said, “You’re going to be waiting an awfully long time because I’m not giving you any foolish pronouns, and I plan on being the last one to leave.Do your job and get on with the meeting.” All the while, everyone was sitting in silence. She realized that I wasn’t going anywhere, so ask everyone, “Who thinks that he should leave? Two hags in the front row raised their hands. The rest, silent. But no one else raided their hands. Sorry, I’m bored and rambling, the meeting carried forward, we accomplished what we came for and left.  As I was leaving she said, “You won’t be attending any further meetings, I’ll see to that.” My response, “Go feck yourself.” And I left. The next day, I started getting calls from the other business owners, apologizing for not saying anything the night before. I’ve been there for 20 years, so I was far more respected that she was. She had only been there 2 years. They also told me that she had been calling people wanting them to vote that I could no longer attend these meetings. What actually happened was, my fellow business owner called around, none of them were impressed with what had happened she made them all feel uncomfortable, so they went to the mayor and told him that they wanted to remove “her” (funny how things work) He said that it required a vote to have her removed, and a new president had to be voted in. Guess who they voted in as president? Me. The point of my rambling is that people may not be as alone as they think. You can test the waters first, try to figure out who believes what, and if you’re in the majority, systematically find a way to get rid of these toxic people. If you’re out numbered, play along if you have to until you find another job. I’m not in a position that I can be fired, I’m self employed and I do what I want to. Others might have to make concessions if they’re an employee, because these people are hateful, you really have to watch yourself around them. Find another job opportunity, then quit by telling them to shove their pronouns up their asses. If you’re an employee, do not hire these people, they are far more trouble than they’re worth. Trust me, being nice or “inclusive” is a waste of time, don’t hire them and get rid of these people if you have any, they will make your work environment extremely toxic. Well, I think I’ve said enough. I tend to ramble when I’m bored. Be well.

I am 61 and I am genuinely insecure about the pronouns. Last year was the first time I was personally confronting with the problem. I am happy you did this video. You said what I also think, although I wasn’t able to put it in words. Another point: I can imagine people inventing new categories of gender, demanding new pronouns for these categories, complicating the situation even more.

5 minutes after I watched your video my manager in NGO I worked in, informed us that we'll have to name our pronouns in chats O.o And thanks to you I was able to raise my voice and said "no". My NGO provides psychological support to teens and young adults, not only but mainly. And we as psychologists, psychotherapists and other mental health workers in the first message after saying "hi" would have to affirm their delusional view of the world and play along... nah... Crazy. Just crazy. Thank you for your voice though! It's so important and refreshing to hear sanity online 😍🤗

As a rule of thumb, whenever you hear the word "identity," you are actually hearing the word "ego." I think it is educational to reflect on the fact that historical religions (Buddhism in particular) encouraged reduction of the ego, while contemporary society encourages the gratification and expansion of it.

What I do is first say, “Are you sure it’s OK. I mean, I don’t want to impose.” Given encouragement, I say, “Thank you for the freedom to finally express my inner self. My pronoun is “His Sublime Majesty.”

I always state that my pronouns are "your royal majesty" and request their use. And usually, no one ever asks me again.