The Narcissism Doctor: THESE Toxic Patterns Are Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist

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Published 2024-03-04
Dr. Ramani, a licensed clinical psychologist, is back for another eye-opening discussion on narcissistic personalities.

In this interview, you'll learn:
- How to identify a narcissist
- How to heal from an abusive relationship
- How to regain your self-confidence
- How to let go of a toxic relationship

What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:09 How To Diagnose Narcissism
05:41 Why Narcissistic People Make History
9:28 How To Not Attract A Narcissist
11:27 Patterns Of A Narcissistic Relationship
18:11 Why People Get Stuck In Toxic Relationships
21:45 The Long-Term Impact Of Narcissistic Abuse
28:21 You Can Empathize And Not Forgive
30:42 What Is Radical Acceptance?
32:39 The Importance Of Flexibility In Our Psyche
35:20 Grief is the Most Human Experience
38:06 How To Recreate Your Own Subjective Focus
44:13 How To Pull Yourself Away From Gaslighting
48:58 Can a Narcissist Ever Heal?

Episode Resources:
doctor-ramani.com/
www.instagram.com/doctorramani
youtube.com/@DoctorRamani
www.tiktok.com/@doctorramani
www.amazon.com/Its-Not-You-Identifying-Narcissisti…

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All Comments (21)
  • What lesson did you learn from Dr. Ramani? I’d like to invite you to join this community and subscribe to the channel. By hitting the 'Subscribe' button, you're not just becoming a subscriber – you're choosing to make a positive difference in your life.
  • @jackym4652
    The loss of yourself when you’re in a narcissistic relationship is so sad
  • @thebigh9324
    When they keep getting angry at you for no reason , that is a BIG SIGN to go !!
  • Dr Ramani saved my life from a gaslighting, physically abusive narcissist. I knew something was wrong with him, I assumed it was ME...then I came across her on YouTube and she described what I had been living. It took me a couple of years to prepare to leave...my spirit had been so crushed, he stole who I was...he beat me down so far I didn't think I deserved much. Dr Ramani turned my light back on, understanding it wasn't ME , gave me the courage to leave. I planned, I saved $$$, I built my self confidence back up and left!!! THANK YOU for saving me!! At 70 yrs old I am free to live my remaining years in peace.
  • It is painful. You don't trust your own thoughts. You think you are so faulty because you have become worthless the gaslighting is real. You become convinced that you are unloveable.
  • @janecumby
    I am a survivor. My motto is “Don’t look back, you are not going that way”.
  • @DoctorRamani
    Thank you, Jay for having me back on your podcast!
  • @queenchenna6772
    The longer a person is in a narcissistic relationship, the longer they have to abandon themselves. Whew! That right there!! 🎯🎯🎯
  • @x-2954
    The confusion you experience while with a covert narcissist is indescribable. I've had boyfriends that were abusive but it's just so different. CN are so convincing that not only will the things they do break your heart but it completely throws u off because it's something u can't even picture them doing. If that makes sense. They make u believe they are a certain kind of person not capable of doing the things that your ex's did or what would hurt u most. That's what's so confusing then they blame u somehow because it's always your fault. I have been with a covert narcissist for 10yrs. No matter how many times I have been through the cycle or seen him rage I still can't picture it when he is love bombing me. Its the craziest thing. I guess everyone is different but for me the constant state of confusion is the absolute worst and most abusive part. But there are plenty other ways they abuse their partners… Withholding and silent treatment. You feel like your going to explode inside. Mine does this so I freak out and then he can blame me for the argument. Physically abusive. When a CN feels trapped they will do anything they can to regain that power and control. Or take something from you what u won't give them. Sexually abusive. Blaming u for watching porn, sex shaming u, withholding sex, having sex with u while your asleep. Blaming you for everything. Blaming you for having to blame you! Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...
  • “ repeatedly forgiving a repeat perpetrator, actually harms the forgiver”. Well this is good clarity! Thank you.
  • @junecarter9330
    Wow!! Empathy as a trauma/survival response!! That resonated with me for sure. I’ve tolerate so much bs in the name of empathy!!
  • @IsraelXOX-gh9mr
    There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
  • There's definitely a spiritual component to this. Empath vs narc, light vs dark dynamic!
  • @shellbell8062
    I remember that loss of identity so clearly when I left my narcissistic husband. I had no idea of who I was anymore. Before that relationship I was always someone who loved clothing and dressing well, so I took myself off to Topshop (still in my twenties) to treat myself. I remember looking around thinking "what do I like? who am I? What is my style?" I really had no idea. I felt completely lost, like I had lost my whole identity. It took years to get myself back; and now I am so sure of who I am, and happy with who I am - more than most. I think when you have gone through this and done all of the painstaking work (that takes years) you actually end up with a stronger sense of self than most.
  • @user-dc6wz4dv3l
    This was very good. Leaving a narcissist is almost impossible. The reason why people don't leave their abusers is because the abuser has it set up where they assume it's impossible for their victim to leave and they remind their victim continually of this. That's why it's called abuse because your well-being and mind are harmed daily where it becomes hard to envision a way out. They keep you in their manipulative loop and exhaust you daily. They sometimes somehow make you feel sorry for them in the process. If and when you do leave you may have damaged all your faculties and the recovery is a long process especially if they start a post-separation campaign convincing everyone you've ever known you are the problem which in turn slows down your healing process and leaves you to heal alone. All of this is intentional they will do anything to hide their true lifestyle even projecting their lifestyle onto you. Thank you for your understanding it's a lonely road to travel but worth the freedom.
  • @rokoroo
    I had a person in a help group who had recently left a narcissistic relationship and then the narcissist died. She was asking how to feel about that, and several people were saying to forgive the narcissist, but I told her it's ok to hate him even if he's dead. He did terrible things to you, and just because he died, that doesn't relieve him of the responsibility for having done those things. She thanked me profusely and it seemed to have helped her a lot to know that she wasn't a bad person for not forgiving him.
  • @user-anot53ou1
    These relationships are abusive relationships. By saying something is narcissistic, we need to remind ourselves that these behaviours are abuse. I would reframe this as abusive relationships. The term narcissistic often times gives the abuser an excuse for why they are abusive.
  • @TheRealCwizz
    Dealing with narcissistic parents that tormented you, abused you mentally and physically is something else man. I pray for everyone who's going through this to go through and stay strong💪♥️
  • @DavidVelasquez9
    Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it