My 5 worst money habits💡Soviet & post-Soviet heritage

I grew up in comfortable circumstances where my parents never talked to me about money. I wasn't someone who wanted all the latest things, but if I needed something, I could get it. This situation kept me oblivious to what things actually cost, and also to the fundamental idea that working a job was actually a way to exchange my time and freedom for goods. I didn't make that connection until I was in college and then wondered why my small wages from part-time jobs weren't enough to get me everything I had been used to having! I finally learned about store brands and saving and budgeting after I got married. Fortunately, my husband was very good at being frugal and we never went without something we really needed. Now I almost feel like I'm overly frugal just from long years of practice. And yet I'm constantly enticed by advertising and wanting to rush to buy something without really thinking it through. Maybe this will always be my struggle because even today I have a difficult time understanding what things really cost in terms of how much of my life I have to trade for that buying power. Thanks so much for your insights, Ana!

What a great video. I grew up poor and when I started making decent money I spent everything I had buying things to prove I was “successful” and spending a lot of money going to restaurants. I am only now in my 40’s trying to fix this. I notice my friends who grew up wealthy are much smarter with their money.

My dad came from a well-off family, before they lost everything in the war in Iran a few decades ago. My dad has been the equivalent of Scrooge to us growing up, and has been this way even though he makes a decent income. I've become this way too. Not towards other people so much as towards myself, though I'm sure he would say the same. I have been frugal to the point where if I lost my job, I would preemptively move into my car and declutter all my things, so that I don't have excess burden. I've spent a lot of my 20s homeless, because living in my car short-term was so hard on me, And so traumatic, that I think I perpetuated more trauma and ended up staying in my car even longer. Trauma begets trauma though, and I would have stayed in my car less had I not been in such a scared, desperate headspace... probably wouldn't have moved into my car at all. My 20s have been extremely rough because of my own frugality. I turned 30 almost a year ago, and midlife crisis has hit me strong. I just had a sudden realization that like many others in their 20s, I did not go to the beach with my friends or dance, or even read or relax. I didn't sit and feel the ease of small moments. It's just been one struggle after the next. And now, I make an effort to stay with and budget, but I pay for the extra conveniences that make life a little bit easier. To me they are luxurious, whereas I think for a lot of other people they are a given. The crazy thing is, just like my dad, I worked insanely hard to finally have a high income. Really harmed myself to get to this point, and now even though I earn well, it's a huge undertaking to work through these mental pathways. I've also definitely spent way too much time on Facebook marketplace, craigslist, etc not just so that I can find a good deal, but so that I can reduce my impact on the environment. A couple weeks ago I just deleted Facebook altogether, and that's been life-changing. You lose so much time in the effort of being frugal. And being frugal kind of has this crazy effect on you where because you think you don't have enough, you're constantly looking for more, which probably makes you spend much more than you need to ironically. We don't need to spend so much time looking for stuff. We need that time. I hope anyone who can relate to this video or my comment finds some healing. You deserve ease, an uncluttered space, and stability, the kind that you find in your heart and less in a house or with things.

I grew up in the U.S. My parents were always frugal. My mom stayed at home while my dad worked, as a mechanic. Both were young adults during WW2, when things were scarce. My mom always tracked the money. Entertainment was simple, like a picnic in the park or beach. There weren’t vacations, or large purchases. Shopping took place at the 5 and dime, when we might get crayons or construction paper. Books came from the library. A few toys at Christmas. I tend to spend little on myself. I know that the joy of buying something is quickly and greatly diminished once I’ve spent my money. I prefer to have money in the bank for a sense of security and freedom. Where I like to spend money is on experiences and treating others or rewarding someone’s work. I like being able to not be concerned about the price of food. This is something new since being widowed. I no longer feel as if I have to chase prices, because I will have to account for my spending. This was just a feeling because I felt I needed to respect the labor we had put into our finances and our joint goals. Now, regretfully looking back I think we should have been more balanced between security and spending on experiences. I feel very sad that my husband never really enjoyed the fruits of our labor. Nose to the grind stone and penny pinching are values that should be reserved for truly extreme and short term situations, like paying off consumer debt, saving a down payment, or an economic depression, to name a few. I’m grateful that I’m past wanting luxury goods or acquiring something just because it is free.

Thank you for another incredible video. You definitely have a gift for seeing the depth (control) of something so common (money). I am learning how money is such an abstract thing. It’s like time. The more you have, the more you need. The more you waste, the more you regret. Maybe not everyone feels this way, but it’s becoming clearer to me as I mature.

Windfall might be a good alternative word in English - I really enjoy your content.

Hummm, very interesting…and challenging! Thanks Ana.

Thank you Ana, much appreciated.

My parents were born in Poland. They came over to the UK shortly after the war ended. I remember a pantry that was incredidbly well stocked in the 1960's. My mum would go from shop to shop to see if something was a few pennies cheaper. If washing powder was on offer somewhere she would buy quite a few packets.I think this all stemmed from not having enough in Poland. As you say everyone is different with their spending habits. Thank you for sharing yours. xx

The misery of freebies...I got a voucher to a shop, a fast fashion brand, that I don't particularly like...but it's a 'free' money... 3 months later (and 3 returns!!!) I am still scrolling through the website in search of a 'good deal'...I haven't realised this is going to be such a curse for me! However, what I also noticed is that I stopped compromising. I will not wear slightly uncomfortable shoes/ clothes...I just refuse to do it anymore. Have a lovely week my dear Ana!

❤thank you Ana for today's video, very insightful ☺sending lots of love from Warsaw 💚💛💜

Very interesting video. It opened up an evaluation of my own relationship with money/spending. Thanks!

Hi Ana - oh wow I relate SO strongly to these habits! Especially overstocking and overworking (fear of the dreaded lazy label particularly). I recently had the insight that even in my hobbies I over-stock (relatively drastically) and I think it's traces of scarcity mindset breaking thru and causing me to think that one day whatever I may have for supplies may need to last forever ... because I might not have "enough" money. In the food/supply area I have learned hard lessons about spoilage due to trying to stockpile/"prep". However, we live in a hurricane area and I have to find the balance because we can expect to have power outages and slow supply chain during/after a bad storm. Finding the good reasonable levels are challenging. Both of my parents grew up in quite tight situations/families money wise. Dad even had to quit high school to drive a truck and earn money at age 16 when his Dad was temporarily disabled. They were both extremely driven and hard working to the point that honestly I was afraid to be caught sitting down reading and relaxing ... it seemed like some kind of a sin. Unless my Dad was maybe asleep on the couch or something. He worked all the time and was on call a lot. They were managing on just his income and my Mom did big gardens, everything old school cooking wise and stuff ... ! Still, looking back we were so rich. We had a house and vehicle and they had zero debt. They created what people now are trying to go back to. But, somehow those old mindsets of extreme frugality (where it becomes toxic) they break thru at unexpected times and I find myself just being ridiculous. I've found myself on either extreme .... overstocking like a fiend or being extremely over frugal. Last week I was struggling because I needed a haircut. I have given myself haircuts a few times ... all during COVID I did it ... but my hair was longer then and easier to simply draw forward to trim it. I was being so ridiculous because we had the money and there is a place very close where they know me and do a good job even though I rarely go more than once or twice a year. My husband finally said: there is NO reason for you not to go get a real haircut! Let's go! He reminded me of the hundreds $ I save us by cutting his hair and said he would gladly like me to spend the $ for my haircut because he in no way feels qualified to do it. LOL I'm 60 and still learning to release old limiting habits. :) This is such a great topic!!!!!

Your videos always resonate with me, Ana. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

Another great video Ana . Have a great day

I was brought up with my mother’s saying: Save some, spend some. My father didn’t make much money at all. I was brought up in the 1950’s and 1960’s when cash was the only method of payment. My mom would get my father’s paycheck and divide the money into envelopes: rent, food, gas for the car, etc. Never saw one for entertainment but I did see she would always put som cash in an envelope for savings and she managed to get to the bank during that month. I can’t say I am frugal, but I work on the premise that savings in the bank is not there and only depend and consider the monthly income as what I work with for my expenditures and bills. That keeps me in line and I never overbuy(except maybe purchases for family members at holiday time and I wouldn’t even consider that overbuying, maybe spending more for quality items.)

Great video Ana. People always hesitate to talk about money but it’s critical for people to learn. I find it sad that your family lived in fear of money being taken from them. My parents had their own business and made us start working when we were young so that we could learn the value of the dollar, how to save, and how to budget. My parents started with little but became very comfortable with time. I was fortunately smart enough to recognize the education my parents gave me when I was young. Even though the work was hard, I thanked my dad when I was still a teen.

спасибо!

Your Russian word reminds me of the saying, "there's no such thing as a free lunch" as either someone else has paid for it, or you are paying for it with your time and attention. I think for me the hardest thing is when I am faced with a multi-buy offer, such as "three for the price of two" or whatever, when I actually just want one thing. Deciding whether to take the offer or not I find difficult for two reasons: first, do I want to spend the extra money now, and second, have I got a space where the extra things can be stored until I need them?

Thank you for another interesting topic, it's always a pleasure to listen to your experienes 😊. As you know my parents grew up in the former Soviet Union and once in a while they tell me a bit of how they and my grandparents grew up and how they dealt with their finances or life in general. It's interesting, as I've never been there and grew up differently. I think how we grow up influences our later decisions. Thank you and have a lovely new week 😘