Do you Self-sabotage? Issues with Inner Child Re-parenting.

ONCE in my childhood (8), I told my mother I "hated her" because I was angry about being disciplined (sent to my room). She calmly said, "I love you but I don't like what you did". Life changing moment for me. As a child I learned I was loved❤️ no matter what mistakes I made. I've never forgotten THAT, I'm so blessed.

1) Inner child is not bad. 2) Inner child reparenting is tricky to learn. 3) The need for psychoeducation. 4) Inner children present in many different ways. 5) Inner child vs. Inner adult.

It really struck me when Little Patrick said, "I just don't like being parented", and later when he gave the example about his dad: "Yesterday you were abusive, and today you want to parent me?" My parents weren't physically or verbally abusive, but they were very emotionally neglectful. Those two lines let me see how much resentment I have about people being patronizing to me, or "parenty" or authoritative. My inner child says, I've had to figure this all out on my own most of the time, who are you to come in and impose your beliefs and rules on me now and upset the balance I've managed to create on my own?

38:28 - how to lead with inner adult; • adding validation • let bad inner child voice criticisms • connect to heart space • not letting child project who the inner adult “really is” (say mom and dad’s copycat) • don’t let the child steamroll the conversation by being a bully

Watching while eating my breakfast on the floor of my new apartment because I don't have any furniture yet. Starting the new year by regaining my independence 💪

'You can't even keep a plant alive' is the most accurate negative self talk I've ever heard in my life. I don't tell myself I'm a loser or I'm worthless but I do love to remind myself I let plants die. I literally have been telling people proudly that I've kept 2 plants alive since May which is kind of a selfburn on its own.

THIS. "As a child you were a genius to use the survival skills you had to survive all that growing up and we need to honor that. What's negative about that is that the trauma conditioning is keeping us stuck in our present and our adult life." It took me a year in therapy to finally understand this concept - it felt like a jammed door I couldn't get through, and when it swung open, I could finally just BEGIN to learn how to heal.

I always convince myself I don't quite deserve asking for more, my expectations are too high, I am just acting entitled, and I should be happy with what I have. Now I see why my life feels so small and relationships unsatisfying. Ugh...grateful to see and hard to see!

He just made me realize that the reason I struggle so much with adult life, hygiene, self-care, and work/study life is because I got so repulsed by authority that when I, an adult now, need to understand that I'm an authority in my own life and body and need to follow some basic life structures (routine, studying, work schedule, etc), I just rebel against it bc past experiences with my caregivers were awful. Damn.

This made me cry❤ It’s nice to feel understood with this. That it’s not “just us making things up”. How we feel is validated & real.

"You're in my heart, and I carry you wherever I go."

Yeah I shed some tears over this one, not gonna lie. I would love to see a role play around shame/worthiness. I struggle a lot with that personally.

I used to be a people pleaser with no solid boundaries until one day at age 29 someone repeatedly crossed a boundary I didn't realize I had. I had a "last straw" moment where my "adult brain" took over and It was one of the most empowering moments of my life. From that point forward I have felt more self respect and confidence than ever before.

“I don’t think it was nice, Patrick. I think it was really, really hurtful.” Literally burst into tears. Not only were things hard, I wasn’t allowed to feel like they were hard, and that made it so much harder. Even though that statement wasn’t directed at the viewers it hit me like a gut punch. You two are doing such important work

That line of "you live with me now, I have all the power now" really got me. Sometimes I forget that I'm an adult now and I will never have to be that isolated, depressed little girl living in poverty again. I am finally in charge of my own happiness and I don't have to carry the burdens of others anymore.

It's ridiculously difficult when the toxic family of origin enforces the self loathing narrative. Any time I mentioned something I was interested in doing, they would treat me like I was a 5 yr old and squash my dreams. I'm 41 now and grieving all the things I could have accomplished had I been someone who believed in myself. 😭💔💔

Twenty minutes before starting this video, I was brushing my teeth, asking myself why I was avoiding a conversation I need to have with my spouse regarding something that is important to me and a potential life changing event based on how the conversation goes. I was afraid of her avoiding it again, and I falling back to one of my core beliefs. Then I saw this video after coming back to my computer and refreshing YouTube. Then I watched the first 20 or so minutes, and watched the role play for Boundary with Partner. Then I felt myself starting to do it in the back of my mind, except yeah, I had to restrain my parent of origin. My inner child cried. Talk about timing. I'd been reading on this stuff, but had no idea how to do it to get my inner child to listen. This was the first time I got my inner child to not run away. Thanks.

I think that’s the first time I got a literal picture of what reparenting could look like. I’d love to see more. (I’m also open to paying for additional content like that. It was so impressive!)

'I don't like being parented' This hit deep. I think this is why I challenge authority figures so much. I've never understood why others could so easily follow orders from bosses, etc., without question.

31:25 “I guess I don’t like being parented….’Of course you don’t…it was not anything that was positive in your life’ ” That one immediately got me crying. My parents always needed me to save them while kicking me for being me