Heal Chaos and Overwhelm: DECLUTTER Every Part of Your Life

I've asked 3 therapists over 10+ years about my difficulty with clutter and stuff accumulating in my home and none of them could help or give me any insight. Years have gone by and all I've felt is more shame and confusion about it. The way you have cut through the noise and clarified how it's connected with CPTSD in a little over 30 minutes is illuminating and life saving. Thank you. The part about emotional and mental clutter is spot on and I hadn't identified them as such until you named and explained them. You have alchemized your pain and turned it into wisdom. You have finally made this make sense. This is what I needed to know. I've been searching for this information for a long time. Your videos are helping me in ways I didn't know I needed.

Trauma causes anxiety. Anxiety causes clutter. Clutter causes anxiety.

Clutter CAUSES anxiety and depression for me. I've become a minimalist on so many levels and it's so friggin' RELAXING.

I live in the eastern part of India and there is a custom of cleaning and decluttering our homes which takes place before the new year of our Bengali calender comes. The cleaning is about a month-long process done daily in bits (say, discarding old, torn unusable clothes, empty boxes, cleaning walls and floors, washing bedcovers and cushions, cleaning the garden etc.)which ends in the last day of the old year. On new year, we have a custom of wearing new clothes after taking bath, eating and distributing sweets, wishing friends and relatives for a happy year ahead. I think having a deadline and making it an annual custom of giving a clean and fresh start help a great deal.

“Your trauma is an injury not your identity.” Thank you for this!!!

While clutter can induce certain types of stress, its a sign of "I don't have the cognitive load to make the decisions to address this problem."

The important thing to remember here is that she says it’s a strong hypothesis. This is her rendition of clutter. Being too organized can also be a symptom of trauma as it gives one a sense of control. Don’t beat yourself up. Just make effort to do better everyday.

Finally I understand trauma. Everything makes so much sense. Clutter, feeling stuck, non social, shame, blame. Thank you so much.❤

Oddly enough I am happy to clean other people's clutter and organize other people's stuff... but I absolutely get that overwhelmed thing about my own! Thanks for this 🙏👍

My mom says, “The item has served its purpose. Now let it go.” That phrase has been so helpful for me.

I did not have childhood trauma and was neat and tidy for decades…..until I married a narcissist. I was never familiar with this disorder and after the “love bombing” experienced emotional and verbal abuse that was foreign to me. I knew I had to leave, then he had a stroke and the guilt of “what will people think if I leave him now…he was such a great guy”, kept me in the marriage another seven years. I almost let his behavior kill me physically and emotionally. Over seven years have passed and I am finally done picking up the pieces of myself. During the period of divorcing, my clutter was paralyzing. I slowly dug myself out with the help of my son…..but I’m a work in progress. Thank you for your insight. I need to hear more of what you have to say!

Clutter began for me almost 20 years ago when my mom died and I had to raise my special needs sister who was 13 at the time. I became so overwhelmed that I couldn't focus on anything other than my sister. The clutter in my mind spilled over into all aspects of my life. This video is so powerful and life changing!

While going to a therapist when I was in that 23 year abusive marriage (1980 to 2003), I told my therapist I just didn't have the energy to keep the kitchen clean & keep up with the housework. He said something insightful for me. He said it made sense bcuz I was using soooooo much energy just to survive life being married to the abusive husband. Now, in retrospect, 20 years agter the divorce, I see I really am a person capable to keep up with the housework. It really saps energy keeping clutter around, but it is so difficult to declutter while trying to survive.

" Your trama is an INJURY, NOT an IDENTITY, IT'S NOT WHO YOU ARE." I love ❤ this statement, more people need to hear this truth ❣️

I'm a guy who has been stuck for years with, for many reasons, trapped with the thoughts, I gotta, why can't I, shame and so forth. I listen to all types of persons to help with motivation to get things done. I used to and always was ,on top of my responsibilities, and keeping things in "order." It was so important to me. Over time, I stopped caring, and chaos began. I avoided watching your message for about 4 days after it popped up. Knowing the struggle of being accountable, I was discouraged. I have to say I am so glad I listened to your post. You were spot on with your message. I wasn't irritated or felt the need to fast forward , and I listened I began to take action. I really like you. You are real and sincere. 😮 thank you so much for just being real. I so appreciate that. The most useful message I've seen in a very, very long time. Kudos to you!!! You've made a difference. I listened three or more times as I was truly motivated. Huge back story to me, but many many thanks yous.

I was that little bird stuck in a cage that I could never leave. The door was open but I could not fly out. It wasn't an abusive relationship or anything, it was the work world. Even tho I had spent a lifetime saving money & I had my social security, I could never retire bc I would starve, I would lose my house. I saw the work force getting younger and younger than me. I got to the point where I felt so out of place. I was like the old lady of the office. I had NOTHING in common with my coworkers. The work world began to be so alien to me. Well the stock market losing 10% of my savings every time I turned around got me to a financial advisor and he showed me, yes you can fly out of that cage and have a retirement. He set me up with a secure annuity without the stock market. Now, I'm free! I'm free! I'm free!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My husband recently had to be hospitalized for four months due to a back injury. The 911 emergency workers and police reported us to social services for having a toxic mess and for the clutter being unsafe for him. I was forced to have my house cleaned or they wouldn't let him come home and he would probably be placed in a home. We worked with the

social worker and she put me in touch with a restoration company. We split the cost and I just had my home professionally deep-cleaned and de-cluttered. 13 years worth of clutter, cigarette butts and grimy dirt! It cost thousands of dollars and was well worth it! I feel so happy and energized and have now organized my papers and finances. My self-esteem is soaring and now I don't feel fear and shame at the thought of having people drop in. I hope others can somehow get help in clearing and cleaning their homes. My city has a "hoarding team" which works in conjunction with our health department. I just couldn't do it on my own. I spent 3 1/2 months planning it my head and was paralyzed as far actually making a move on my own. So when it was coming to "crunch time" about a week befoe he was released, we finally hired the restoration team. They cleaned the house from top to bottom in 3-4 days. The health department chipped in thankfully. I would encourage people to check and see if their municipality or health department could assist in both counseling you and in doing the actual clean-up. It may cure your needless suffering. Most of all, I wish you lots of ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🕊🕊🕊🕊

It's a vicious cycle.
Not only do I have some hoarding issues, but my brother was a hoarder and my mother was a depression-era mom. My hoarding brother passed away over a year ago and my mother moved in with my other brother due to her dementia. Here I am trying to get my mother's house straightened out while dealing with other family drama. I am ADHD and the sole caregiver of my autistic niece. So I am extremely overwhelmed.
This makes me feel like I can't do anything. It's very hard to even start.
But I did one thing. I got rid of a mattress that was just sitting around and that opened up a lot of space. Seeing that freespace motivated me to get started and I have gotten a lot done since then.

I live in aTiny house, if I leave a newspaper on the couch, my whole house looks clutterd.😮

Wow lack of power, we as children who were abused never had power . We couldn’t control any thing we were never taught how to control the healthy way of being able to make choices. Wow wow wow! Thank you !