I watched Madame Web and it was like a fever dream *MOVIE REACTION*

What do you do when a colleague is talking to you but the words they are saying don't match up with their mouth at all? A) Question them, B) Go to HR C) Nod Along till they leave you alone

dakota johnson had serious bills to pay to take part in this movie

black hair cindy is as rare as the plot points that made sense in madame web

Plot twist: the guy trying to shoot a pregnant woman was actually just Verity in a fit of rage

Dakota Johnson's agent lied to her and told her she'd be part of the MCU, so she called Elizabeth Olsen who assured her the MCU was superfun, so DJ agreed. Then she realized it was a Sony picture, so she fired her agent. So did Sydney Sweeney, who was similarly misled. DJ said the script was rewritten a stupid number of times, which is pretty obvious as later parts of the movie reference things that didn't happen because they were cut out. The final product bore no resemblance to what she signed on to do. I loved that she trolled the movie during the press junket. She didn't even bother to pretend it was good.

Dakota’s insanely bizarre line delivery was so camp tbh. Like, it really elevated the movie for me. It almost sounds like an abridged dub.

convinced now that dakota johnson just needs to play herself in a movie where she's supposed to be a manic pixie dream girl to the male lead but it turns out she's actually worse than him, i need loser girl rep NOW!!!

Having Nepo Baby Dakota Johnson play a working-class superhero is SO hilarious!

"The lukewarm version of That's So Raven" That's kinda Dakota

Die by "crushed by the book of the month logo" KILLED ME LMFAOOOOOO

wasn’t brave nor bored enough to watch this movie so i’m glad i can experience it with you for the first time

Madame Web: The movie that’s entirely a preview for the movie you actually wanted to watch.

I saw this movie by myself in an entirely empty theater and had the greatest time and then I was listening to a podcast nitpick this movie to shreds when my job was terminated a few days later and I genuinely believe the absurdity of everything helped me through a very sad day.

the funniest part of this movie is the way a suspected child kidnapper is able to leave the country and travel to Peru, just like that.

Cindy’s web connects us all 🕸️

Thee entire cast really thought they were signing onto the mcu…not the morbius universe

Personal favorite parts of the movie -When she says all dreamlike and synthy "but I don't have a neuromuscular disorder" after the doctor tells her pregnant mom the diagnosis, my friends and I quote that at each other all the time now -That the villain looks like he's talking in bad ADR, like you said his lips don't match his dialogue and his audio sounds different like he's saying it directly into a microphone in a sound booth. My theory is the original guy had a thick accent that they decided way too late was too hard to understand so had him/someone else redo all his lines with a more subtle accent -the fact that Mary (pregnant lady) is pregnant with Peter Parker and the movie teases us by having the ladies at the baby shower play the stupid "guess the baby's name!" Game. I really thought at the end of the movie Ben was going to ask what the baby's name was and she was going to say "Peter. Peter Parker" and I was going to stand up and applaud but it never happened 😔 -the fact that the whole mom looking for a spider plot gets solved by her finding the super plot important spider off camera -Madame Webb at the end when one of the teens like like "aw he gets to be an uncle, all fun and no responsibility" and her response is deadass "oh that's what he thinks" 💀 is she going to warn her close friend that his brother and wife and going to die and he's going to be raising the baby just born a few years down the line or just make a really morbid crack about it for nobodies benefit but the audience Anyways would have been a 10/10 but blue balled me with not name dropping Peter Parker so 0/10

I watched Madame Web in theater with my friends and we had such a great time laughing our asses off. 10/10 movie, if you ignore the entire thing to laugh instead

I love my trash watches ngl but this one seemed like they were purposely trying to make things suck 😭 maybe it's just me but i've noticed a trend in hollywood that whenever a typically male series/universe releases a mostly female cast movie, they lower the production quality SO MUCH. there are a lot of examples but the ones off the top of my head are madame web, ghost busters, and ocean's eight

dakota johnson in this movie was so goofy LMFAO