Agents of the Narcissist How to Deal with Flying Monkeys

This is a re upload of an older video. I've tried to improve the sound so hopefully it'll be a bit louder.

Interestingly, in some cases, flying monkeys are narcs themselves and assist their fellow narcs. Also, based on my personal experience with flying monkeys, they are just as worse as the narc and extend drama and misery for the victim.

"Flying monkeys is lying monkeys." Best thing I have heard today.

I didn’t realize how bad abuse was until I started researching Narcissistic abuse

I have to remind myself that it is not my problem that other people are fooled by the narcissist

Integrity, authenticity, assertiveness, self-respect, boundaries, no contact or low contact should starve the flying monkeys and their ring master. Thank you for your help and support Darren.

Flying monkeys usually will not ask you about the lies told them by the narcissist. Instead, they assume it is true and start watching you to see how you react almost like they're watching a movie and have popcorn. Or they will start making fun of you and laugh whenever you walk by or whenever you are in the same room as them.

I sometimes call them "narcissists by proxy," Darren. In my experience, they have far more disappointing than the narcissist.

Shut them down and live your best life full of fun, love, laughter and true friendship.

Just deal with them like you deal with any other criminal. - Yes, that mostly means, keep your distance and don't engage. If you make the mistake to talk with them, assume that everything gets recorded. - regardless if that's legal in your country.

I’ve done this more than once. Just staying calm and let them unravel and break apart. It’s so satisfying.

Silence is golden, and it works. Great videos! :)

I found the best way to handle them all is to cut them all off...it can be that simple. You end up finding out this idea of "everyone thinks so-and-so about you" can only to a specific group of people colluding against you. Chances are you probably know you need to cut them all off to be free.

They can destroy your life using these misguided people. The sociopath depends on your socialization, on your sense of decent behaviour. If you don't want to talk to them (for example), the flying monkeys are employed to help make you look insane, bad, etc.

Thank you for your list of suggestions in coping with these misguided people. I have changed my opinion regarding politeness. I now belive that the teaching of social norms is a piece of our problem. I believe that I must always behave with civility, but I am reassessing the need to "be polite" with wicked people.

This guy's brilliant. Soothing, relaxed and concise manner.

Lastly, the narc wouldn't have power if flying monkeys didn't support them. It would be interesting if the flying monkeys naturally gravitated towards the narc's victims. Now, that would be refreshing. The naive flying monkeys should use discernment before taking sides with the narc to avoid abusing the target

I regret talking to my enmeshed brother so much. I thought he would mediate. But he just went back to my parents and told them i was mad/bad/angry. He never said "all she did was tell you that you hurt her." It's too late to respond. I reacted. I know what really happened but it's tòo late.

One of my breakups ended with all our friends taking sides, even when I told them not to. One of them was actually what I thought was a friend of mine, and she sided with him and rejected me. very hurtful especially because of the surprise. Life goes on, I met another man, I left the city and I settled elsewhere. Ten years later, she called me to apologize for her behavior. She wanted to come back into my life, and of course, I refused. What good is a friend who betrays you when you need her the most? She just proved that she was never on my side and all the time I spent helping her when she was in the same situation was a waste of time. So you don’t have to talk to somebody you’re going to leave anyway. When you take sides in a breakup, you actually tell the person that you reject "I will never be a part of your life again". Don’t expect a return, and if you’ve made a mistake, accept it and learn your lesson so you don’t do it again. Because at the end of the day, you’re the one who loses someone worthy and helps someone unworthy.

My biggest hurdle in trying to find a therapist that can help me recover from being raised by a psychopath is finding someone who doesn't justify the inaction of all of the grown ups that I grew up around. Every therapist I've tried has tried to make me the peace maker with all of the family members who didn't act. As if, no one in my family knew how dangerous my mom was to me. I need to take the high road. I need to be the forgiver. I need to start healing the relationships. Somehow, all of the therapists I've encountered thought my initiating the fixing of the problem with my mom's flying monkeys was the key to my recovery. This video in general gives me some peace, some brain calm about all of that. But there was one statement that stood out. When I was a kid I might have wondered how they didn't see what was going on but as an adult, I recognized comments from all of them that revealed they did know and just chose not to help me. The statement 'Chances are they knew as well' was such a breath of fresh air. It literally felt like a cool fall breeze had blown through my summer heated mind. I've been at the point of allowing those relationships not to burden me for a few years. It's not been easy. Having a knowledgeable grown up reinforcing my current process is a great respite. Thank you.