The CRAZY LIES I Told in ADDICTION (and What I'm Doing About it Now)

My mom was a nurse who ended up getting hurt on her job. Needed back surgery and got hooked on percs then went to heroin. I think its cool to share your story. Best of luck. Im also in recovery.

I am a nurse who got addicted after spine surgery and was intervened on at a hospital I worked at. That was 2006. I've been sober except for 2 more spinal surgeries. Now I'm 69 and in constant pain. I'm sober now but hurt all the time. Good for you and prayers for you. Keep on, sir.

I was meant to see this today! I have been in recovery for a while now, and the lies are the absolute worst! The majority of my guilt stems from the lies that just got so ridiculous. Its been a huge challenge so far. Thank you for posting this video!!❤

And the truth shall set you free…

All the lies when using lead to so many regrets & shame once sober, and that is something that is hardest things to get past.

I was an alcoholic, and then after I got into a relationship with someone who was a I thought recovering addict. A physician. And omg the things weee complete crazy. He knew exactly how to circumvent. He would pee in times he was sober and put it in the fridge, and used a tube system, glued so it would stay warm, and secret. When he had to go back in residency after he went to jail for 2 years. I thought it was an incentive. But no. What surprised me that the addiction, board didn’t pick on it. He would shave his head as his hair would be taken for a drug test. And esp if just are sober, or more on subutex, for the last 2-3 months it wouldn’t show. And no one thought hmm that’s kind of weird? Alchohol would be out of the system quickly too. So he would lie, and say he couldn’t get in because of work and add 2 days . He got everyone to do something for him, to sign off as of he had gone to AA meetings, and even I was complicit in some of his lies. Why? Because you get this my life will be over, I will never this or that. He even stole pee from within the hospital from his patients. He stole meds. I just couldn’t anymore, I don’t think I ever saw him truly sober, only when he needed it to, for a brief period of time and that’s scared me. The other thing I thought was, they gave doctors way more slack then nurses. They would pick up on his behaviors but not report it. It had to get really bad such as DUIs etc. I could not deal with it anymore. At some point there is so much anger, and hurt. All that drama. It’s such a terrible disease it really makes you kind of a zombie version of yourself. Good luck everyone. I’m currently 14 years sober

Being sick on vacation sounds like hell. I didn't know kratom causes actual addiction and withdrawal when not available. I see signs for it outside tobacco shops and figured it was pretty harmless. Good to know.

Recovering addict here…Your idea of keeping promises is wonderful. What a way to build self-esteem and learn to love yourself again!

I think you give people a good example of starting over, getting honest with oneself, and eventually rebuilding bridges that aren't burned. Thanks for being so transparent and using this platform, and the time you have alone, for good.

I gotta say, I really appreciate these videos. I’ve never dealt personally with the struggles of being an addict, but my dad was one for a good majority of my life. The lies, the manipulation, it was all so frustrating. But learning more about the mind of an addict, helps me with understanding my dad more and his struggles in life. Thank you. ❤️

Yeah the lying that comes with anger & gaslighting is the worst. You know shit is going down but they treat you like you're crazy, mean, dumb, trying to control their life etc etc etc. I don't know how many times I said 'if you're making my life worse, I'm not going to ignore it.' Thank goodness we are out of it now but it was really terrible. They think they're so clever but they're a caricature of a bot.

Hi Brian. I'm so glad I found your channel. You are so genuine and express your thoughts really well. I can see you have done a lot of work on yourself and I am so happy for you! I am an ER nurse myself and have been able to "hide" my 10+ year problem with alcohol very well. I am working very hard to break out of the cloud of lies I tell myself.. 3 days sober. Just starting to watch all your videos and they are actually really helpful and have made me reflect a lot. You talk a lot about loving yourself and really getting to know the real you. I will think about that today as I am purging my closets of useless possessions I thought I needed to make me happy. Keep doing what you're doing. Thanks

You are very natural at talking to the camera. Thank you for sharing and being so open it helps a lot 🖤

Hello 👋 Making promises to yourself is basically being your own parent..the pride knowing you are taking responsibility for yourself is immense! Understand completely. Well done and keep going 🎉

Brutal. As tough and regretful as those moments were, I'm sure it's no easy task to talk about them in any circumstance, let alone, on here. I know they're two different levels, but i remember very vividly asking to "borrow" money, sometimes begging, so i could get a drink. I remember stealing from grocery stores so my friends and i could get wasted. So many lies and so many broken promises. I really had to come clean with myself a few years ago. I had the worst alcohol withdrawal of my life, my phone was in my hand with 911 dialed, just needed to push the green call button. After days of struggle and sweat and zero sleep, i had lost 10 lbs, i was weak, and i needed a change. I cut everything out of my life, even people a little bit. I worked out, i made routines, i ate better, but maybe most importantly, i got honest with myself. I looked really deep inward, asked myself the hard questions, and came out a different person. Im still me, but im kinder, more patient, and put communication first in all relationships. Sometimes even annoyingly so lol. Just wanted to share that tidbit since you opened up so freely. I think its important that we all do that. Also Roger came to see me at Steamers the other night with his brother. It was hilarious and fun. No Charlie Daniels requests though. Little Feat are also awesome. I slept on them for far too long. Love ya dude, so glad you're making these. Now im gonna go sub to your music channel

What a great video! How many of us, whether we have struggled with addiction or not, have broken trust with ourselves!?

I resonate with this so much. I can never put the words together myself, but I felt every inch of this. I am also a recovering addict with a very very similar story to yours. I also find that the hardest thing to overcome at this point in (3 years), is accepting the things that I did in my addiction and how I hurt everyone who cared about me. I also feel like I’ve put my time in and “proven” myself and then some to everyone. It’s a true gut punch when I’ve done all the hard work, gone out of my way to show them I’ve changed and proven it 100%. Way more than anyone would ask of them in the same situation. I’ve learned now that it’s risking my sobriety to keep trying to prove this so hard and getting so agitated when people only see me for my past. At this point, take it or leave it. You don’t trust me, you don’t have a place in my very small circle. I’m doing this for me and I’ll be proud of and true to my own self 🎉 you’ve got a good thing going here, keep at it!

When in active addiction do u really not love anything but drugs? My ex would lie and get angry at me when he would lie. When I knew he was lying. For someone who hadn’t used drugs, what does numbing feel like? Why do they blame everyone else when they are doing these things? It’s always my fault he went to jail, when he took the drugs so it’s his fault. The no accountability or responsibility

Thank you for talking about this. Addiction doesn’t just affect the addict…it harms everyone who cares for that individual. Someone that I care for lied to me multiple times and betrayed my trust while in his addiction. Once that trust is killed it can be really hard to get back. Definitely trying to move on and learn how to trust again. Your videos help put it into perspective from the addiction standpoint, and I appreciate that. Keep it up ❤

At least now when we hear about those home gas explosions we know what happened.