A YouTuber's Descent Into Madness

I have never, in my life, meant the words "rest in peace" more seriously. I hope his son grows up knowing how well loved he was by his father.

As a tech in a pharmacy, DO NOT GIVE OR SHARE YOUR MEDS WITH SOMEONE ELSE IT CAN BE VERY HARMFUL!!

My dad passed in January and Ricard’s message to his son made me cry.

I heard of a lady from South Korea who SWORE she never slept more than 4 minutes for YEARS. She was absolutely convinced. She reached out to a TV show that documents strange situations and after speaking to her, they set up a secret camera and found out she was actually sleeping for 4-5 hours. She had no recollection and still felt as though she had NEVER slept. Even after seeing the video proof, she refused to believe that she was asleep in the video. After a long talk, the crew finally got her to see a doctor and it was determined her symptoms were psychosomatic. The stress of not sleeping was actually stopping her from getting REM sleep, which is why she always felt horrible. Obviously, I don’t know if this is the case with Ricard, but considering how long he survived, he must have been sleeping at least SLIGHTLY more than he imagined. This still doesn’t really explain why he died and had other severe symptoms that were most certainly not in his head. I think it’s possible that his inability to walk, and his obvious mental decline could certainly be due to a fear of sleep. It’s possible that once he started to feel that he wasn’t sleeping, his mind saw that as reality and physically wouldn’t let him sleep. This case is so tragic and it breaks my heart. Ricard was obviously a very loving, kindhearted man who simply wanted the best for his son. I really wish doctors would try to study his videos to try and find SOME answers if at all possible. Rest in Peace, Ricard ❤ You’re finally resting well. Your son will grow up as kind and loving as you…I’m sure of it. ❤

His friends knew him as Chay and he was a good friend. I have a few tattoos and shirts from him. We tried to bring him back to the US. I contacted Shrouded Hand about covering his story last year. I'm glad his story is getting out there. Edit: I don't think it was mentioned in the video, one thing that could've been a contributing factor is that the boss that gave him the expired antibiotics was for a job at a chemical (possibly pharmaceutical) plant. There were many Indonesian immigrants working there in unsafe conditions without respirators or proper PPE. He told me how the fumes gave him headaches while working. RIP Chay

Most people don't realize how truly precious a good night's sleep is. I live with chronic insomnia caused by PTSD, so I know firsthand how debilitating sleeplessness can be. Yet, what I've experienced is nowhere near what Ricard went through.

The fact that nobody donated is so sad. I wish I would’ve seen his gofundme, I would’ve definitely donated. I know I’m just one person and it might not have done a lot but still. This is so sad

What a beautiful man. That message he left for his son is just beyond words… i hope he and his son’s spirits reunite in the afterlife

That is so fucking sad man. Dude was basically abandoned and he died a painful and lonely death. My heart goes out to those who suffer from this illness. I will never take a good nights sleep for granted again

“Son and only” 💔 have heard this story a couple of times and never heard that detail, among many others in this video. Thank you, Nick!

This is just upsetting, my guy didn’t do anything to deserve the grief and severe insomnia.

I had a terrifying two weeks of no sleep as an initial response to taking cymbalta. I remember how agonizing it was laying in bed with my head racing for 12 straight hours and not ever fully losing consciousness. I remember losing the ability to remember even the most basic things, stumbling and laughing in confusion at everything. Eventually I was able to sleep again. Though now, I remember every detail of every dream I have at night. It's like my brain finally adapted to have REM sleep while still partially awake. I'm still disoriented now and again because I live so many lives in my dreams that I have difficulty reminding myself none of it was real and trying to forget about it. I'll feel attachment to people in my dreams that I'll never see again because they don't exist. It's like living a new life every time I go to sleep. Even if his insomnia wasn't fatal familial insomnia, any kind of prolonged insomnia is painful. I do wish that things had gotten better for him.

Not having to wait 1-2 months for another Nick Crowley video feels illegal. Thank you YouTube gods.

i remember first hearing about this story, not many people realise the importance of sleep and how destroying insomnia can be, its sad

"my son and only" is genuinely so sweet. I'm honestly tearing up.

I knew as soon as you started describing the symptoms that the antibiotic was ciprofloxicin. I was (wrongfully) prescribed this from my doctor last year with the warning that it might 'burst my achilles tendon' or something which just had me questioning it entirely. I ultimately decided to get a second opinion and NOT take it, so seeing that section in the middle where people have had permanent, debilitating physical and neurological issues as a result of taking it was legitimately terrifying. Why the fuck is it still being widely prescribed if it's such a nuclear bomb of a treatment?

that is horrible, there are so many deadbeat men around the world who won't take care of their children. This guy seemed like such a good father, dedicated to his child, or his "son and only" , I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy..

that last message for his son made me teary-eyed. hopefully palu's living a good life now and rest in paradise, ricard.

This hits scarily close to home. I know what it's like to be so exhausted that you'd rather die and it's a mentally damaging experience. I suppose no matter what, there's always someone who's had it worse than you.

Thanks for doing a deeper dive into Ricard, I know this will probably go unnoticed but i appreciate the class act you uphold and the respect you have for the victims and subject matter of your videos.