Why Dating Apps Don't Work For Many Men (The Truth)

Guys all you have to do is standout. Then everyone is standing out, then no one is standing out. Want to improve the situation? Delete the dating apps.

As a man using Tinder I found it was incredibly toxic to my pscyhe. I rarely if ever get a match and many of the girls profiles are narcassictic with comments basically being like "dance for me monkey" or "if I swiped right it's for your dog, not you". It's hard not to get resentful when that's what you keep seeing. As an introvert I decided I'll have to suck it up and approach women in public. I genuinely believe I have a lot to offer and the couple of times I did approach I ended up hooking up with the girl. These apps totally ruined my self confidence too. When I'm with a girl she always assumes I'm getting laid like twice a week and girls are all up in my DM's. I never correct them because if I were to tell them they're the only match I had in two weeks, or no girl has ever messaged me before they'd think something was wrong with me. I really think women have no idea about if a man doesn't invest a large amount of energy into finding women he can remain single for the rest of his life, without any girl ever approaching him.

Met a girl off the dating apps who said she swipes left on guys if she doesn’t like how their name is spelled. I basically told her she’s going overboard and she told me she “earned her right to be picky and don’t be so sensitive”. That’s what men have to deal with today.

The moment I got away from all dating apps, I met the right woman. That in itself is very telling.

My problem with dating apps is that 99% of the girls I match with are 👻's. After 1 or 2 texts, they're already done. I don't say anything out of the ordinary either. It's incredibly hard to meet women from my experience.

The moral of the story is that even if you're a "Chad," dating apps and even social media are used more for an ego boost and hookups rather than serious relationships. A lot of women (not all) hide behind these dating apps because they are afraid that if they actually go out in the real world and meet people, some men might find out they're not as glamorous and perfect as they seem online. Go meet people outside and get dates that way unless you're lucky enough to get matches and dates via dating apps and social media.

For the average looking guys….don’t waste your time on the dating apps. It is basically a sausage fest. The best way to meet women is introduction thru mutual friends or families.

Step One to a good dating life: Stay the hell away from dating apps!

Long story short for men in dating apps: EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!!!

Dating apps, alongside Instagram, has made women delusional and, as a result of it, it’s made men remain single. I’ve asked women if they prefer online dating or meeting in person and 99% of them prefer meeting in person. If you’re a man who wants to date then meet women in person instead of online because you’re only making it harder for yourself, with all of the competition in her inbox. After all, online dating for women is dating on easy mode and online dating for men is dating in hard mode

I'm 6'4", I model, Bodybuild and play sports and let me tell you, that dating apps aren't the way to go if you really want to find genuine relationships or stay confident in yourself. I've gotten hundreds of matches and asked them all what they want and most of the girls on there just want an ego boost, want to smash/hookup or just BS you. The amount of narcissists on there is wild so i deleted all those apps and found that staying focused on myself and my goals has made me more desirable to women in person and I've had alot more interactions with them just by staying focused on my success.

I deleted all dating apps. I’ve had some success on it but ultimately it’s not worth it. And with all due with respect Courtney I know you are trying to be understanding and empathetic. But you will never truly know what it’s like for a regular guy. You are an incredibly beautiful woman. And you’re going to attract the top guys with ease. And those guys aren’t going to have the as many challenges as the ‘average’ guy. So yes it’s possible to meet someone special for some people, but for the average guy save yourself the headache.

I'm 6'5. During lockdown I tried dating apps and I was very unsuccessful. I am average in the looks department but I do have something. In real life when I walk into a room lots of people look at me and girls freely chat to me. Dating apps are not a good indicator of your worth in the dating field please do not beat yourself up over this.

Dating apps these days are profit-driven and it's very important to understand this. Hinge is designed to be deleted? BS. It's designed as a gamified funnel to selling a monthly subscription that uses the hope of providing value (in the form of a relationship) as the engine of conversion for the sake of maximizing reliable cash flow back to Hinge. All dating apps these days use the same mechanics that casino engineers employ to keep people playing and get them addicted to the hope of scoring big (lights, flashes, notifications, flags, pop-ups, anything RED, to keep it exciting and to keep your brain scattered and stimulated rather than focused). As long as they preserve the feeling of hope, people will keep playing, and wasting their time and money.

I'm 44. I'm so glad I got to live my young dating life before social media, smart phones, and dating apps. I feel sorry for the young guys of today. It's so much harder for guys now. When you're out and about, every girl has her face in her smart phone. Girls are so much less approachable. And back in our day, if you were lonely, it sucked, but at least you didn't log onto your social media and see a million pictures of all the girls who rejected you partying and hooking up with other guys. When we talked to a girl in a bar, we had a better chance because she wasn't also chatting with 20 other guys on a dating app. I'm not saying things were super easy and perfect back in the day, but young guys: picture this world: 1) NO smart phones....when you were out, you could actually talk to a girl without feeling like you were interrupting something. 2) NO social media....if you got rejected, you just moved on. You didn't have to see the girl on Instagram posting selfies at the club. 3) and best of all....NO DATING APPS. In our society, men are expected to make the first move. For that reason, women have always had to put in less effort than men. But back in the day, at least they had to put in SOME effort. They had to at least get dressed and leave the house. When you talked to a girl in a bar, you were only competing against the other guys in that bar. Now, the girl can just wake up, roll over, grab her smart phone, and she's got dozens of messages on dating apps.

As a 31yo man, that has totally removed himself from the dating market, the more I see what's happening, the more I think my decision was the correct one.

When my ex wife and I split up we both signed up for CMB. Within 3 weeks she had hundreds of messages in her in box. I did dating apps for 9 months and can count on two hands how many girls I matched with and had a conversation going.

It's damaging to self esteem to never get matches. I get that. But matches are like phone numbers. They don't mean anything unless it results in meeting up. In a way it's 10x worse to get matches regularly but to be used for validation and attention. It's like one endless tease. If I had to choose, I'd much rather only get 3-5 matches per month that resulted in actual meetups. The harsh reality is women have so much abundance of choice that their interest can change hour to hour and day to day. The flakey nature of society is at an all time high. 💯

Online dating sucks, i'd rather do Cold approach over using those lop sided apps that favour women. With online dating, girls have thousands of guys messaging her trying to meet her in person and setup a date. With cold approaching, you've already met her in person; essentially skipping the waiting line of all those guys texting/messaging her for days or even weeks, you've immediately accomplished and are ahead of all of them. She's already seen you physically, has gotten a sense of your personality to determine if she wants to go out with you, and more than likely wherever you approached her you have a common interest.

I’m willing to bet less than one percent of guys use dating apps for validation. While upwards of 90 percent of women or more use them for validation