How Adult ADHD Goes Undetected

I got my diagnosis at 38. It only happened because a friend told me that I had ADHD. I didn't believe it. Then they started listing the symptoms. I hit every single one of them. So I went to the doctor, got a referral to a specialist and got my diagnosis. It made things make sense. I had always thought that I was bad at life. Why couldn't I just do things? Why was it so easy for everyone else? I just assumed that I was lazy. When I finally got medication for it, it was like night and day. Like finding out that life had an easy mode and I'd been playing on hard mode my entire life. Also turns out that all my close friends have either adhd, asd or both. It certainly explained why I gravitated towards neuro-divergent people.

Both my sister and I got diagnosed with ADHD in our 40s. Hyperactive for her, inattentive for me. We didn't realize until my niece was diagnosed at 10. My sister asked why because she had the same habits as my niece. The doctor's response was "I'm sure you do." "....Oh. This explains so much of the past 40 years."

To anyone out there who has been struggling with “anxiety” and/or “depression” for 5-10+ years and your life really hasn’t improved through medication and therapy. I would highly recommend looking into ADHD. Yes you may have had anxiety and you may actually get depressed, but if you have ADHD then the anxiety and even more so the depression, will almost always keep returning if the ADHD is left untreated. ADHD fuels anxiety, give someone a brain that’s thinking constantly and combine it with some nervousness and you can see how that gets out of hand. Likewise if you’re someone with untreated ADHD you’re likely going to have many many failures academically and professionally in your adult life which in turn leads to depression as your peers leave you in the dust. The first time I took a stimulant, I can’t explain it, the world was just quiet and I could communicate without thinking about it. The day I took it I also had an Anatomy test (going to school to be a RN), we have to identify ~50 structures with no word bank, it’s all from memory. Well normally I was getting 60-65%, but the day I took the stimulant I got a 94%. My brain was empty enough that I could actually pull the names from memory.

So I have a story, when I was like 25/26 someone suggested I go to the psychiatrist so I did and they were immediately after talking to me for like 27 seconds like "um were you ever diagnosed with ADHD?" and I was like oh? ... and then like a year later during the pandemic a friend of my sister reached out and, she did an assessment of me in the early 00s when I was like 10 because she was getting her degree at the time so she asked my parents permission to do some stuff with me and she came to the conclusion I had ADHD but for some reason never mentioned it to anyone and I was so angry for a while after I found out... there was someone out there that did notice that knew and they didn't bring it up like...

5:06 I can relate to this. I got diagnosed about a month ago at age 57. I can clearly remember when I was in Elementary School (in the 1970's), my teachers would often tell me to stay on task and to stop daydreaming.

I find it somewhat confusing and immensely frustrating that there is such stigma around ADHD medication; while Drs are happy to hand out antidepressants left right and centre. The ones I'm on are highly addictive to the point where if I miss a single dose I will have debilitating withdrawal symptoms. Also, oh what a surprise, when people are medicated properly they don't feel the need to self medicate later in life. Honestly, the world really needs to get itself together when it comes to psychological issues. The general culture and understanding around these things is absolutely archaic.

I have wondered for years if I had ADHD because of my forgetfulness and constant procrastination as various intrusive thoughts enter when I am engaged in a task, but also do not want to trivialize the experience of those who genuinely struggle with the condition. The one time I went to Psychologist, it seemed like I was fine, and my college experience also was more about potential depression than anything else, but now I am reconsidering again. Thank you for you.

I'm 40 and very soon I'm getting tested for adhd & autism...this video was fantastic because I really felt like people were describing me...its a peaceful emotion I'm experiencing because of this video. Hopefully that will be an everyday occurance. Thanks

It’s becoming very fashionable to say you have ADHD or autism. In fact I hear loads of people saying out loud “oh sorry, it’s my ADHD” I have it (secretly) and keep it to myself as I don’t want backlash from employers etc. My husband conducts a lot of law interviews in a top firm and told me if he reads that a candidate has ADHD or autism, that CV goes straight in the bin! Be warned, do not put that on your CV. It IS still seen as a disability and a mental health problem. Just a heads up.

Thank you for this video! I was diagnosed with both ASD and ADHD earlier this year at 35 years old (already having major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder diagnoses since early adulthood.) These diagnoses explain so much about myself & my life; it's as though I'm finally beginning to learn about who I am.

2:06 And what if it isn’t traceable back to childhood? That seems like a crucial part of the diagnosis. I see potential for harm and neglect here because there may be environmental factors which cause or exacerbate symptoms.

Thank you for sharing

Love this thank you!! I was initially diagnosed in college and didn’t think much of it but the medication helped me study. Once I was assessed and officially diagnosed with ADHD in my 30’s, I was truly struggling and took the time to learn about it which, like they said in the video, you look back at your life differently and I went through the grieving process but I also joined a support group, began therapy, and medication. I realized it wasn’t just me and I’m not the only one experiencing these things. I’m still learning to cope and find out where I fit in this world but having the knowledge and support that opened up to me through a diagnosis definitely helps.

What about "rejection sensitivity"?

Very interesting and super important topic. Thank you for adressing it. 😊 Maybe, if there is time to spend, we'd also be interested in SCT (The ADHD opposite)? 🤔😉

9:52 is misinforming the audience. Non-stimulants definitely need to build up in your system before they work and they definitely need to be taken everyday, especially medications like atomoxetine, bupropion, and viloxazine. Atomoxetine takes 4+ weeks in most studies to show any significant clinical benefit. Non-stimulants are also significantly less effective than stimulants. No doctor in their right mind would prescribe atomoxetine on an “as needed” basis, any benefit would be placebo.

Neurotypical: I can forgive, not forget. ADHDer: Oh, I'll forget eventually, but NEVER forgive.

Where is the link to that Venn diagram that you briefly had on the screen?

My son was officially diagnosed with ADHD in 1st grade, though it had been suspected since he was in preschool, and lets just say, I wasn't surprised when his teachers suggested it. My little brother has it too, tho without the hyperactive part. We put Son on medication and dear god, the difference it made in his academics. He's still learning how to self-redirect and needs more time to finish his school work than average but he's not far off the median in any subject and is actually a bit above in reading. I kid you not, nor do I exaggerate, when I say he went from reading 2 or 3 words at a time to short paragraphs in TWO WEEKS after his first dose.

I disagree with the fact that it's subjective whether or not you've got a difficulty with focus and attention. Neurotypical people can focus and keep their attention when it REALLY MATTERS but it's boring... they can just FORCE themselves! E.g. on a "boring english test" they can still answer all the questions they know the answer to on time! An ADHD person cannot, even if they desperately wanted to! They can easily check this with standardized computer tests instead of silly questionnaires. I have ASD + ADHD and the number of tests on school I have failed due to lack of focus is huge, even if I was highly motivated and intelligent. The listening tests (foreign languages) were the worst, because if I didn't hear the question due to lack of focus or I immediately forgot it due to lack of working memory, I couldn't ask my teacher to replay it or pause it... My reading and comprehension was soooo slow and I kept getting distracted by intrusive thoughts or daydreams, so I just couldn't finish all the questions on time, even if I knew the answers in hindsight. It angers me when people say things like "yeah I also forget a lot of stuff". ADHD is not about forgetting where you put your keys every other day... that is the least of our problems!