What's at The Core of Your BPD?
114,772
Published 2019-05-30
Defense Mechanism Worksheet: www.drdfox.com/worksheets
The things that drive you to engage in your beliefs, behaviors, and patterns are what makes up your core content and we’re going to identify it for you today in this video, and discuss what make it so hard to get to and change.
What thoughts, feelings, and memories impact you most? Which of these tend to drive you engage in your unhealthy beliefs, behaviors and patterns that’re causing you to hurt yourself, your relationships, and disrupting your personal and work life?
There are two parts of anyone’s personality: core content and surface content. Surface content is the result of the activation of your core content. Surface content tends to be your beliefs, behaviors, and patterns you engage in and can be adaptive and maladaptive. Individuals with PD, for this video BPD, tend to engage in maladaptive beliefs, behaviors, and patterns that perpetuate BPD. Most videos and stuff you hear about on BPD tend to address surface structure, but what about what’s underneath? What about what is at the root of your BPD, your core content?
Core content are those parts of you that when activated drive you to believe, behave, and fall into beliefs, behaviors, and patterns, and for those with BPD they tend to be largely self-destructive. As we go forward in this video, it’s important that you know that it’s ok to turn it off or pause it if it brings up too much. Core content is like that, because it’s linked to parts of you that are very central to your psychological make-up related to past hurts and experiences and it’s linked to your psychological defenses, or what are called defense mechanisms.
This a common behavior you engage in? This could be cutting yourself, refusing to let go of a loved one or idealized other, drinking and drugging, punching walls or other people, and so on. What is a feeling related to your past that drives you to behave that way? You may have to dig deep to find it, and through some uncomfortable content to get there, but it’s important to get there. For some folks, it is best to do this with a mental health provider, someone who can help guide you, if you don’t feel comfortable doing this on your own and that’s ok.
One of the first things I do with all of my clients, PD or not, is to find their core content. Some common ones for my clients with BPD are worthlessness, loneliness, vulnerability, abandonment, emptiness, but also being able, independent, determined, having integrity and so on. Notice that not all of the core content listed is negative, because it isn’t. All parts of your psychological make-up is not negative. Your BPD wants you to believe that it is but that’s just not possible or true. Remember, you BPD lies to you and distorts your view, remember the video on the BPD Lens?
When you feel your core content, or when your therapist, friend, or whomever taps into your core content what do you do? Do you act out, put out that hateful energy onto someone else who is safer, do you use humor, rationalize it using statistics, refuse to believe it’s true or block it out of your awareness, or do you split – see it all good or all bad? These are defense mechanisms that keep your core content safe, hidden and intact. To overcome your BPD, you have to get to core content, but because it is well defended it’s difficult. I’ll put a link to a worksheet of common defense mechanisms to help you identify your own. In this list you’ll see a checkbox to the left so you can mark off your common defense mechanisms. Don’t check ones that you use rarely, but check the ones you use often that are part of your default behaviors, remember that video?
We’re moving through this video quickly, but this is by no means a simple or quick task. Now that you know how to identify your core content and the associated defense mechanisms, you can use this information to help you recognize what beliefs, behaviors, and patterns are associated with it and instead of falling into maladaptive surface content, you can identify and use adaptive ones to help you lessen and control your BPD.
Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
YouTube: youtube.com/c/DrDanielFox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/appliedpsychservices/
Twitter: twitter.com/DrDanielJFox1
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/drdfox/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/drdfox
Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
0:00 Introduction
0:44 THE 2 PARTS OF PERSONALITY
2:56 FINDING YOUR CORE CONTENT
5:50 YOUR CORE CONTENT & DEFENSES
8:41 WHAT NOW DR. FOX?
All Comments (21)
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'Your bpd lies to you'. Oh WOW those very few words were so powerful for me.
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“I’m not going anywhere” anyone else felt relief hearing that sentence?
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You are the only person i can listen to speak about BPD. For some reason, when I watch others, it triggers me immediately. I watched a few other videos of other people just trying to educate myself but it sends me into very bad episodes.
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Having a bpd is like having a feeling of intense breakup and broken heart, but it happens multiple times everyday. The pain is unbearable, to the point where you can't function anymore. Idk how I could still survive at this point lol
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I think as a BPD I am vulnerable to bullies. They gravitate towards me because they can sense the weaknesses they like to prey on.
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❤❤❤Daniel Fox is great at helping us understand our BPD selves. Thank you sir for saying we are not bad people ❤❤❤
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🙌🏼This man is a gift to humanity. From his intelligence, insight and kindness I am forever indebted. Please please please continue to offer amazing content which will save countless lives, relationships and heartache 🙏🏼
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It seems like most of us who has BPD dont realized we have the disorder . But we know something is not right.
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Been watching you for almost a year now. I come and re-watch your videos over and over, cause they make me feel like there is hope. I always feel like the broken one, the bad guy, the unworthy of love. And at least listening to you I feel like I have a chance in life.
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I think everyone that listens to you wants you as their therapist. Love your videos. I have BPD and am ready to move to Texas to have you as my therapist. Lol. It is truly an awful illness. I'm just working on it now at 62 even though I've had the diagnosis for 20 years. The therapists I've had never really addressed it. They worked more with my bipolar, which is just as much fun. Anyway, I can't thank you enough for your videos. I can relate to it all. They are very helpful.
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This has really helped me gain some insight. My core content seems to be that I’m unlovable, unforgivable, very lonely and I don’t deserve to have a good life. I’m constantly sabotaging myself in my career and relationships. It’s such a painful cycle of hope, progress and then self-destruction.
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Emptiness, worthlessness, abandonment, failure are all too familiar and a constant mental battle, I tend to have outbursts of rage and take it out on my significant other. I will split often seeing my significant other as a great person and the next moment as the most cruel person.
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I really appreciate you, I have BPD, PTSD, MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER, ANXIETY DISORDER. It means the world to me that you care an dedicate your self to everything you do!! Thank you Dr.Fox for giving me hope, thank you so much. I used to try to kill myself it didn't work I'm still here I guess there is a meaning for everybody to be here on this Earth but you give me hope and inspiration I have so much love for you for just you being you and helping you're so amazing
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Thank you for Hope. Im 50. A totall nightmare. Next is your workbook. I regress alot and cant function as an adult. I havent been able to die so im trying to give it a last shot on my own with u as the small family i have is tired of my nonsense they say. This must be the hardest thing ever but if i get through i can do anything. I am watching all the time Dr Fox. Thank you
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Is it possible to do a video for those of us in a relationship with someone who has BPD? Ways to help them? How to reassure them? Make him feel heard? And what to do when splitting occurs? We've been together 16 years, I love him so much and just want to help him the right way.
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Your voice and the way you speak is so calming. I just want you to hold me and tell me it’s all gonna be okay 😄. Inappropriate, but true.. it feels really safe to come here and watch your videos. Makes me feel like life will be okay. Thank you
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This discussion about disclosing thoughts/feelings about our core content makes me think that I'd love for you to do a video covering the conditions under which someone with BPD ought to disclose that they have BPD, what they ought to disclose and what they don't need to disclose to an intimate partner.
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Dr. Daniel is a better video therapist then my actual therapist that I've seen for 10 years! Ten years of misdiagnosis, meds (oh my God the myriad of meds 😳), and therapy that didn't work but destroyed my life and two marriages 😪. Thank you for the worksheets and your time and attention. You are helping so many of us!!!
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Hello Dr. Fox I came across your videos yesterday and I am glued to them. I have a high-functioning borderline personality disorder. My relationships are so unstable that I had a fallout with my therapist (the 13th one so far). Everyday life is extremely difficult to cope. Sometimes, I land up questioning my sanity and even look for people to validate that at times. Self-mutilation, substance abuse and job instability are traits that seem to define me. I like my solitude but at the same time the emptiness and loneliness gnaw at me. But ever since I came across your channel, I am getting a lot of clarity on my problem. I won't say life has become easier but yeah I am able to develop self-awareness. Thanks for this. Just keep it up. 😀
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At the exact moment I began to get overwhelmed, you said that it’s probably happening for us and that it’s ok to take a break from the video. That was so validating. I had to pause just to said it. I can’t express how thankful I am for how you address BPD with so much compassion. The stigma perpetuates my distorted self image. Your videos do not whatsoever!!
