Ch. 4: Bathing & Dressing (Caregiver College Video Series)

My mom, 85 now, raised 7 boys (including me) & a girl. I'm doing everything I can by myself. It's now come to this subject & I can't thank you enough for this helpful video. I'm 53 & scared all the time I'm not doing enough or not doing something I could. I keep telling myself the important thing is don't stop trying, & praying. To all the caregivers out there, Be Blessed! I'm stopping back in to thank all that sent kind & encouraging words. My mom passed on January 29,2022. Thank you to the creators of this helpful video. It was a big help for me to take the very best care of her until the end. I was often teased & called a mama's boy but it never bothered me. She was a fantastic person that deserved a devoted son. Everyone stay safe & God Bless.

I just wanted to say thank you to the gentleman who helped demonstrate. I'm sure he helped hundreds if not thousands of people over time!

I have so much respect for him. Breaks my heart when people don’t treat them like normal people, it takes a lot to trust someone to help you in such a vulnerable situation.

I’ve been taking care of my almost 85 year old Dad since Christmas when he fell and broke his hip. Before that my sister and I were coming over daily to make sure he got his meds, mail, daily paper and meals. She’d come before work in the morning and I had the evening “shift”. Since she cooked the meals I did the laundry and cleaned and help bathe Dad. She also takes care of his bills and insurance. I decided about a month ago to give up my apartment and move in full time with Dad. I don’t want him to be alone and it was easier for me who’s single without kids to do it as my sister is married and just bought a home. It makes us all feel better. I’m so blessed to have this time with my Dad and feel that we are closer than ever!

Such a sad time for me... Life is full circle. They (parents) give us life and we watch/guide them as theirs end. We stay strong with a pretty smile for our loved ones. For anybody experiencing this, WE CAN DO THIS! :)

RESPECT PEOPLE. your parents or whomever you are giving care to does not want to need your help. They want to do it themselves, like they did their whole life. Most parents have a hard time asking for assistance...so anticipate their needs and do not wait for a thank you or you're appreciated. They try to play down the situation b/c of their own embarrassment. Besides they birthed and raised you and how often did you thank them? You are their family, just do it with love. Do not belittle them...do not make them feel like a baby or child. They are your loved one or parent, treat them as such. If they can do something or want to...LET THEM!....do not rush them or act impatient....what you can do in 2 mins may take them 12 but it helps them by accomplishing it...be goofy...be happy...do not act like they are a chore...they already feel they are. You do not know how many times and different people I have heard say I'm slow, I'm stupid, I don't deserve such good care, If I would just die already, I wish I would die, I wish my daughter, son, etc was like you. I wish they came to see me but they have busy lives so I understand that they don't have time. I am sorry...I am sorry...I am sorry! They apologize more than anything. These poor people apologizing to me for helping them because they can't do it themselves or need assistance!?! And I never say it's my job...so heartless. I say I love assisting you. You are the highlight of my day...putting a smile on your face makes me excited to come here everyday. If it wasn't for you and your words of encouragement I know my days wouldn't be so bright and great. I need to see you smile everyday...you better give me a hug. I listen to all of their stories. I love them. Their pasts were so great and they have so much to share. Remember our elderly now lived through wars, went to war themselves, did hard manual labor before computers and technology....they are so interesting...I love helping people. It is my calling. And I mean every word I tell them...I cry when they cry...I reassure them and apologize for the family they so desperately miss and want to see. So please if you have family in homes...please go visit...even once a month would make a difference. They would look forward to that visit the whole month and then talk about it for the following month...that's how special you are to them. Please do not feel guilty if you put them there. They understand why and most do not hold any grudges. They love you unconditionally and just want to spend time with you before they die. What I would give to see my grandma again just for one day...even one minute. Just to hug her and tell her sorry for everything when I was a child who didn't appreciate everything she did and how special she was. Don't live with what ifs and regrets....because your anger or hurt will turn to remorse and regret once they pass.💖🙏God Bless everyone. Great video btw. Thank you.

Handling patients that are aggressive is quite a challenge but then these people need us. I know it's hard but there's nothing more gratifying than a patient's simple thank you. For me, it would suffice, but not that I expect it.

I don’t understand caregivers that abuse I understand the stress and frustration but this people didn’t do anything but live a long life and deserve respect and love

I've just started my job as a caregiver, and I would like to express my thanks for these videos. I've been scared to shower my clients for fear of hurting them or making them feel dehumanized in any ways. These ways, and even just seeing your chemistry with the elderly man, help me understand the tone and methods necessary to help them feel as comfortable as possible.

This is such a special time with our loved ones. Showing them the special care we all would want.

It's really sad when you have to do this for your own mother.. But anything that makes her happy.

We’ve been struggling with my dad’s dementia and consequent bad hygiene. These bathing tips are so helpful! He won’t bathe or let us bathe him but I think the waterless products, wipes or washcloth method he may be open to. I’m going to try so I have my clean dad back (but most importantly prevent him from infections). Thank you! I’ll update once I’ve tried one of these methods. 😊

My dad has terminal cancer and this has been very helpful! You are an angel, thank you so much.

Wow wow, i loved the grandpa and the speaker, her way of delivering the lectures, is too good .

This is the job I'll soon be doing in Canada as of 2022. Such a sublime job. We dont expect others to make it up to our good deeds,but the lord will bless us with an abundance of Love for what we do towards the disable ones 😉

Soooo. My husband has advanced Alzheimer’s. No matter how gentle, patient and organized I am with him; he fights me on everything. I have watched so many videos for clues and tips. Now he doesn’t like the sound of the beard trimmer around his face and bites at it. The only time I can get him cleaned up with a sponge bath is before bed after he feels woozy from his sleep aid. I’m exhausted and feeling guilty because I can’t seem to find a way to keep him shaved, trimmed and not looking like a haggard mess. He thinks the person looking back at him in the mirror is a stranger so him doing any of this himself or even recognizing that it needs done is out. 😢

Thank you for this video! It is extremely helpful to have a video with a willing participant who is actively receiving the care. It makes it more real and tangible. Much appreciation to this gentleman and his caregiver!

FCA thanks you all for subscribing and for your helpful comments. We're glad when our videos can help you through the very tough job of caregiving for your parents, spouse or other loved ones. We've been low on staff since many cuts in our public funding over recent years, so we encourage you to respond positively to each other with advice or wisdom you've gained over the years from your own caregiving experience. We will do our best to respond to specific questions that are more of a  "intake" nature appropriate for social workers (our Family Consultants) to answer, as we are able. In the meantime, if you need individualized help you may speak to someone on our toll-free line: 800-445-8106, or try our Family Care Navigator that will find resources closest to you in the state you live in: www.caregiver.org/family-care-navigator.  Thank you for your patience!

Personal Grooming Neglect has become the "Norm" in hospitals, nursing homes, rehabs and mental health faculties. I have worked in the health care industry for 35 years and watched the decline to personal grooming care. If you have hair, it's time to care!!!

The videos are great. I am just starting on this journey. Both my mum and dad have aged gracefully together and now mum just can't care for dad and the strain has cost her health. Their anxiety and fear of losing each other and losing their own life confronts them daily in the 90's. Now to give up their independence and come and live with me as their son is both a relief for them and a reluctant admission. I will be watch many videos and I can see the need for more male carers so men are not so mothered and can be fathered. I have noticed with dad's part timer carer that he lost confidence as risk management was to her capacity of managing a 100kg man, his capacity to walk, shower and do thing was limited by her capacity to assist him and allow for her fear of him falling and not being able to catch or hold him. When he is with me or my brother his confidence improves and we are not on the clock racing time to get to the next client as the carers are. Very grateful for their work and now it has come to a close. We will experience the demands of two aged parents in the 90's clinging to life for as long as they can.