Outed by my best friend

The Exact same thing happened to me in 1981. Rather than run from the “gossip”, I embraced it. I even had a teacher try to have me removed from a Christian School Club, that I was President of. She lost, my Principal stood up for me. My ex bestie even told our Quaterback that I had a crush on him. He called me out about it. And I told him yes. That became my highest ranking in H.S. Popularity. My father had always told me, to not give the bullies the reaction that they were after. It worked, for me.

I wish you didn't have to experience that and it breaks my heart that someone could be so cruel! The world needs less bullies who cause so much pain and more people like you. So proud of you xxxx

Something similar happened to me at a job quite a while back. I trusted someone and got outed. She didnt understand that it wasnt her place to do that. She kept saying “so what who cares? No one does. Stop worrying”…she had it ALL wrong! I did quit that job the next day. Like you, I was humiliated and embarrassed. I wasnt afraid of people knowing. I was (and still am) afraid of being beaten up or killed. I can walk away from name calling but not necessarily violence and you just never know what outing someone can cause for that person. I still am very selective about who gets the PRIVILEGE of knowing my soul. Thanks for your video!

Currently looking at other peoples stories because I got outed last week. I’ve never felt more judged and ashamed than I do now. It feels violating to have someone share something so personal about you, I’m happy I’ve got supportive friends but my parents are 50/50 about it. Being outed has put me in an uncomfortable and almost dehumanising position where I feel my identity has been taken away from me, and I’m not a person anymore to many of my peers. Thank you for sharing, it feels good to know I’m not alone.

Out at 15? What accepting kind parents you must have had to feel safe in that way.

You're a lovely man. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Hugs. ❤

Same here. It was Jr High. Worst thing that EVER happened to me, ruined my life, and now I'm 70 y/o. Thanks Luke. You made me cry.

That was a total dick move from your "friend". Thankfully, you were strong enough and had support to help you through it. Much love.

Look how well you turned out. You make us all look good.

Some things can not be walked back. There is no excuse for intentionally hurting someone this way. You are right to have taken him out of your life. I recently dropped a platonic friendship of several decades because of her sudden shift to toxic behavior towards me. Moving on is essentail. Best to you.

It’s very hard when you lose the confidence to confide in someone who you put total trust in when you were trying to be completely honest in sharing a very personal part of your life. You truly find out who is or is not your friend. Thanks for sharing your story!

I'm so glad you were able to come out to your parents at 15 y/o. I'm older and grew up with a dad who was a career Army officer and a very Catholic mother. I eventually ended getting married after the first man, who was my lover, was killed in a small plane crash. Well, my wife ended up outing me to my parents and siblings. Not a happy time for me as you can imagine. Enough of me. You sure developed into a wonderful, interesting, very handsome and beautiful man. Hugs

It's disgraceful for someone to out you without your permission, particularly since they were supposed to be your friend. Some people make your life better when they enter, others make it better when they leave. I hope you have removed this toxic person from your life. I'm much older, but I was accused of being gay at school in the 70s, even when I wasn't sure myself. The accusation was enough to make everybody hate me. I was bullied constantly and was declared by the headmaster to be the most hated boy in the school. I have suffered PTSD ever since. Fortunately, I have a husband who has loved me dearly for the last 22 years.

Sorry you had to go through that, breaks my heart. i too know that feeling, keep your head up baby!!!

Thanks for sharing your story <3 I just posted my coming out story as well, I was outed by my brother, not my friend though

I'm so sorry you experienced that. Truly!

You made it through. Thanks! I outted a dear friend our senior year in high school to his mother for completely different reasons. My friend had begun seeing a much older adult man in his late 30s. This was in 1989 and the HIV/ AIDS epidemic was rampant in America (still is). I was terrified because my friend began living with this guy who was known in all the bars as very sexually active man. My friend was experimenting with drugs and had just spun out of control. One day I summoned the courage to call his mother who was very kind to me and just a wonderful woman in general. I debated it for weeks but I was so afraid for my friend. I remember calling her and telling her everything—everything!! She thanked me but I felt horrible—like I betrayed my friend. I remember him phoning me and saying I ruined his life. I was in tears but we actually managed to remain friends. Now, over 30 years later we’re still friends though not best friends like we were in high school. Looking back I have no regrets. I did what I did because I cared not because I was jealous or mean spirited. Thanks for your very different story. Btw I was outted in college by the one and only guy I had fooled around with. It was the best thing because all these handsome “straight” guys began coming on to me randomly at school and it ended up with me making very nice friendships with guys who couldn’t come out but wanted to have some kind of intimacy without fear. So there’s that. 😂. Be well and thanks again.

I came out to a friend, a really good girl friend after my first year of college. We had been great friends through all years of school. She seemed quite taken aback. Years later, I ran into a friend from high school coming out of a gaybar in Toronto. we had a long lovely chat. He told me that she had told everyone that I knew. I haven't seen her since but I hope she has had a miserable life. It really had an effect on a lot of friendships.

I’m so sorry that happened to you Luke. You’re a beautiful , strong man with a clear understanding of who you are . That ‘friend’ was clearly uncomfortable with who he was and his insecurity lead him to try to hide by hurting you and perhaps ‘covering his own tracks’ if that’s fair . Sometimes I had people who would introduce me as their ‘gay’ friend . That told me loads about how insecure they were and wanted everyone to know that ‘they weren’t gay’ but I was . Those unhealthy , toxic people leave an opening for good , healthy people who love and respect you to come into the open space they left . Don’t let the door hit ya is the old saying 🙏. So glad I found your channel . Let the good people come . Encourage the toxic ones to hurry on out . Be well ❤

I agree with you completely. If someone doesn’t accept you then you don’t need them in your life. When I was a teenager I always tried to explain why I was gay and my experiences in dealing with it in hopes people would be more understanding. For some people they already had there mind made up and were hateful no matter what I said. I desperately wanted to be accepted for who I was. Now, at forty years old, I don’t care. I’m not going to justify my identity to anyone. You either like me as I am or you don’t. That’s the healthy attitude to have. I just wish I would have figured it out when I was younger. It would of saved me some heartache and stress. Thanks for making the video. I think there are people out there that need to hear it.