I'm afraid of change & can't let go

I know exactly how you are feeling. My situation is a little bit different but all of a sudden I am 81 years old and I’m not at all content with where I am and relocating right now is not an option. In 2016 I lost my husband of 51 years. Up to the time we had a wonderful life. We lived full-time in a motorhome and travel the entire United States and Canada for 14 years and then all of a sudden here I am alone. I moved to Savannah Georgia to be near my daughter because I figured at my age I need someone I can depend on in case I need help. Well, she’s been wonderful but I don’t feel at home here and I don’t feel welcome or part of the community. South. is supposed to be so friendly. Well, maybe it is for the younger generation but when you hit my age, it isn’t easy. I do a lot of hand embroidery, Crosstitch, punch needle. Have not been able to find anyone my age to enjoy these things with. The people who frequent the senior centers all seem to have lived here all their lives, and although their fairly friendly, you’re not included. I have a son who lives in Jacksonville Florida, which is only two hours away, but I don’t think I would ever go there as I’ve lived in Florida before and it’s not an option for me either. My daughter works and now they’re talking about possibly in the next 2 to 3 years moving somewhere to a lake. Well, it scares me because I’ve established all my doctors here and I can’t just pick. up at my age and move and start all over again. So I am worried about that. I have acquaintances, but not good friends and I’m very content to be in my sewing room and do my crafts but I still don’t feel like this is Home. I think my whole thing is I have no one to share it with. You are very lucky you have a partner.

"Have you ever been in that in between place questioning where you belong and wherever you go feeling like you don't belong?" - that hit me right in the place I feel right now. Wow.

Completely relatable! I'm 62 and have yet to find somewhere where I feel like it's "home". I almost feel like I'm in the wrong realm... Weird I know lol. It's oddly comforting to know I am not the only one that feels this way...Change is scary and although I seem to want it so badly, part of me is terrified! You've got this, take your time! Sending you love & light ✨💙✨

Wendy, we are with you no matter where you go, whether you are up, down, or discombobulated. Because we are kindred souls, we fully understand how you are feeling. You will get through this. Your next adventure awaits and I, for one, can’t wait to share it with you. Sending bright loving light and energy your way! ❤️❤️❤️

"Our spirits are restless until they rest in God" - St. Augustine

I think one of the most valuable lessons I learned in life, (and it was given to me by a stranger over a cup of coffee in a cafe), was that decisions aren't brick walls. We make one... it may work in our favour for a while, but eventually another decision will have to be made. Or, it doesn't work out and we make a readjusting decision to move on to the next thing. Nothing is permanent. And we have no control over anything either. Dithering and indecision leads to many years of unhappiness. Make the decision and act on it. If it isn't right, wait a bit to see if newness is making you uncertain, but then make another adjusting decision. Because if you do it that way, you may eventually find that right space for you. if you just sit and wonder, you never will! Give it a try!

Wendy and James, this has only been up for 6 hours and already 8.5 thousand Soul Tribe have watched this ..I take it as a wonderful sign of Our Love of You both xx

We looked for our house for 2 years and by accident, found it and have been happy there for 14 years. I needed a car after 10 years without in our dear house too far from the city and with too little public transport. I showed patience by telling myself "It's OK to wait. The longer I wait, the more I save and the less I make credit: it's twice OK!". I found a SUPER MEGA deal and I will have it tomorrow. So tell yourself, too, that it's OK. The universe will then have a much clearer view of you to see in you this deep desire for YOUR house, YOUR home. If the fog of impatience and disbelief prevents the universe from seeing what we really want but when it finally sees clearly, it aligns all the planets to give you what you want deep inside you: *

I’m an artist turning 65 and considering a move. Not too far from my current home but nonetheless a change. Contemplating packing up, moving and resettling is daunting especially for artists because of our equipment, supplies and art collections. Trying not to talk myself out of a change is tough!!

Having turned 80 this year I can tell you that those wobbly feelings are real; I really really don't like change--and these past 20 years it's all been change and having to "let go" of how I've identified myself for so long...I am truly grateful for even still being here, but miss that "self" I thought of as "who I was"...ir is hard to be the last living member of your immediate family who knew you "when",,, Thank goodness for my two children and 6 grandchildren--they keep me going......hugs, Julierose

It’s been a rollercoaster year for us, trying hard to keep my lights shinning bright. So many of us going through hard times with tough decisions to make. I wish everyone could find their safe haven Gentle hugs to everyone ❤

The older I get it's a bit of the opposite for me. For so much of the last 20 years, I've been taking care of everyone else's needs. Now, in my 50's, it's time to focus on me so I want to have some change. I'm so tired of my life being stagnate while I've been concentrating on everyone else's needs.

Oh Wendy. I'm totally with you. I'm 61, my husband is 70. We've lived in our house for nigh on 30 years. We feel we have one more big adventure left and would love to create a new home somewhere different. But the fear of losing too much of what we have is stalling us. We go round and round in circles. Sending you love and hugs that you can break through your own fears to find what you're looking for.

Understand COMPLETELY. I live in a unique & beautiful area on California's north coast. Half my life here, half in San Diego. Traveled. For the past 10+ years I've been restless...should I stay or should I go? I've explored other places to move🤷. Nothing clicks. Yet, I know I won't stay here. I've accepted that I'm in a holding pattern...🤔maybe due to world events. Sooo I've spent the last 5 years downsizing, maintaining the house & landscape. I'm hearing "get ready to go, WHEN we tell you WHERE you need to be ready to go. Do not wait for the plan before you get ready....rather, get ready & the plan will meet me.

Dearest Wendy, sending warm soft hugs to you during this challenging time. I totally relate to everything you shared. What I do know at the tender age of 72 (in September) is that we definitely feel more vulnerable as we age. I was the consummate gypsy when I was younger, keen to experience new places. That desire has waned as I've aged. Still I desire to roam but the actuality of doing so is not as appealing. As for wanting to belong and not feeling a sense of home, I know that feeling too. I tried many different places to live..beautiful redwood forests, coastal towns in the Pacific north west, mountain villages. But nothing really felt like home, despite the beauty. At the age of 25 with two little un's in tow, my husband and I decided to move to an island we had never visited. After landing, we walked across the tarmac, and once we were far enough away from the plane, I had an over all visceral feeling. The smell and feel of the flowery, moist tropical air had me voicing immediately..."I'm home! I'm finally home!" That was 1976. And though there were reasons, years ago, that took me away a couple of times, I always felt out of sync, and pined for my island home until I found my way back. You will know it when you find that place that resonates with your soul, so no need to worry...just keep looking! As for familiarity...I think it's key to life. Especially as I age I want to see the same faces at the markets where I shop, the coffee shops and my neighbors. I feel a strong sense of balance and belonging when I have a community where people and places are familiar, where I have history and friends that have been on the journey with me in all these familiar places. Speaking of which...yes, nothing is permanent and the only thing we can count on is that everything will change. On August 8th my familiar town of Lahaina, with my familiar people all went up in flames.😭 Decades of working in galleries, restaurants, on boats out of the harbor; relationships I counted on always being there, all gone in one hellish afternoon. I sit here feeling grateful to be alive, but mourn deeply the community and beautiful town we have all lost. The loss of lives, homes, pets, and businesses will have a devastating effect on this island , no doubt, for the remainder of my life. This is definitely not how I envisioned living my golden years.😢 So, acceptance and adjustments will come into play. What else is there to do.😢 I say, yes to taking a day to chill! Its okay to do nothing. It's a way to heal and find balance. Do this for yourself as often as you need with no guilt attached. It's hard to let go of deep dreams that we have held most of our lives and I know there is a belief that we should never give up our dreams. As we age, though, we realize our limitations, whether that be physically or financially, so therefore it is okay to be realistic and alter those dreams a bit. I truly trust that you will eventually come to settle somewhere that resonates for you. I know you don't like those grey days, so I often wonder why you don't consider climates further south? I'm thinking of you and James today and sending you much Aloha across the many miles. 🌺🌴🌈 Oh, BTW, I'm your faithful viewer that told you about the beautiful 150 year old Banyan tree that grows in the heart of Lahaina. The good news is that arborist have found signs of life in her trunks, she has over 30 of them! They say she is in a state much like a coma, and hopefully with some extra care she will make it through.🙏💚🌳

Its very beautiful where you live and that waterfall is breathtaking. Ask God where you belong he will let you know and when he does you will have a overwhelming peace about it. I don't know if you believe in God but all the beauty you enjoy outdoors he created it all. So give him a try he will never let you down ❤❤ much love 💕

I am 60 years old (still can't believe it). My home since 1994 in Florida was flooded last year during Hurricane Ian. My husband and I have spent the past year wrangling with insurance companies and contractors to rebuild the house and fix the damage. The house is almost done, but I don't feel at home here anymore. It's hard to describe. I guess that feeling of absolute physical safety is gone, and I'm lucky I felt that as long as I did. The neighborhood and the town are changing immensely, and it's hard to get used to that. This place is paradise to most people, and it was to me too until last year. My happy place at the beach is completely gone. It's like the hurricane knocked me off my feet and I haven't been able to stand up since. And yes, it is harder to deal with change when you're older, but it's just a fact of life. I try to be grateful for what I have, and let go of attachments to material things. I didn't care about losing all of the furniture, but my childhood mementoes are gone and it's hard not to miss them. Thanks for letting me take this time to share with you. I wish you all of the best on your lifelong continuing journey. Go with your gut.

Dearest Wendy, I think, as you said, that the unsettling feeling is because you know deep down it's time to move, to change, to find your home. I am the type who doesn't like changes but because of my ex husband (of 30 yrs marriage) job and "etc " "I have ended up moving 5 times across the country. Each time I went kicking and screaming! But each time I settled in, made a nice home for my kids and my self , it seems to take me about 3 years (yes!) to really make someone else's home feel like my own. And then, boom, 'honey we have to move again". Did you notice he's an ex now. lol. Anyway, my main point is that I found that my real home is within me and I took it with me everywhere I went. I found that no one house is absolutely perfect and that you have to pick what you want to compromise on without going on a journey for the perfect house that you will never find. Location is utterly important, a warmth to feed your soul, the rest you can make happen eventually. Ive realized that, even though it scares me so much to move, each time I've done it , it was ok! It was even more than that because a couple of those homes really enriched my creative spirit (the beautiful Berkshires in western Massachusetts) and gave me my love of living in the country (where I live now in rural Idaho) Change was good. Remember the quote: "When you come to the edge of all that you know, you must believe one of two things: either there will be ground to stand on, or you will be given wings to fly." - O.R. Melling Trust your wings, Wendy! sending you love and courage.

I took myself on an 8-day cruise to Alaska to have that separation from my home and challenges to see what evolved… came home and realized I had been sacrificing my SELF to others all over the place and am beginning a new rerouting of taking care of me first.

Gosh I understand so much. I’m hitting 60 this year, I’m living in a place with no outside space and no community and I feel I do not belong here at all. I feel I have no purpose and I need to be somewhere peaceful to achieve this, the middle of a city feel so claustrophobic. I stood this morning and decided that I have so much clutter in my life and maybe that is what’s holding me back. I’ve tried decluttering but I almost feel I need a huge skip and put my whole life in it and just pick out a few important things and run with them. Maybe then the right move will be more clear as well. 😊