5 Powerful Ways To Deal With Death, Grief & Loss
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Published 2016-05-17
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Death & loss of a loved one is something we will all experience at some point in our lives. Learning to let go of someone close to you, and dealing with grief, sadness and loss is tough.
How do you do it? Especially when your emotions are so intense?
It's not something school ever really teaches you is it?
Maybe you've even heard of the 7 stages of grief. But you still feel sad and angry and hurt.
What do you do?
1.) 2:41 - Tuesdays With Morrie
Morrie Schwartz talks about allowing yourself to completely feel the emotion, instead of pushing it away, and then after exhausting it, learning to let it go.
The truth is there is no step by step process here. Grief is going to be different for all of us, and won't be the same each time we experience it. Instead of seeing it like a step by step tick box exercise, imagine its like a clockface.
You will cycle through the emotions revolving around them and over time you will get better at dealing with these emotions.
2.) 4:15 - Emotional pain is like physical pain
Emotional loss and pain triggers the same pain receptors in your brain as breaking your leg or losing a limb
So if you lost your leg - how long would it take to heal? Imagine the same process, but for your emotional pain. You're going to need to take things a bit slower, and put your energy into healing properly and dealing with the new challenges you face day to day.
3.) 5:23 - You Can't Control Your Emotions, Only Manage Them
Your feelings are going to come and go, and trying to ignore or suppress them through willpower won't work. Work by Psychologist Steve Peters shows that the part of the brain responsible for emotions is more powerful than the one for logic & rationality.
Imagine your emotions are like a little chimp. And it's angry and upset. You can't defeat it because it's stronger than you and less intelligent. So when you feel sad, imagine you're dealing with a baby chimp that's sad. How would you deal with it then? Ignoring it won't work. It will just scream louder.
You have to acknowledge it, and express it and be patient with it. So that part of your brain feels heard and cared for.
4.) 7:03 - Learn Your Own Mortality
Use this experience to learn how precious life is and how fragile it is. Being mindful of the fact that its all going to end, helps you be more focused on what's really important.
When we experience death, that's the deeper truth we're facing. The lesson of impermanence. Things are uncertain, random, and not permanent.
Can we learn to be fully present, not hold back and still be able to be detached and free from our own need for certainty? Balance is key.
5.) Become Their Legacy
When a person dies, they leave behind all their dreams and aims for the future. And we can use this experience to learn from the way they lived their lives and the example they set to follow.
What did they stand for? What was there to learn from them?
Use these lessons and become their legacy.
Hope you guys enjoyed this one. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!
- Keshav
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Credits
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Naruto: The Last Movie OST - no copyright infringement is intended. Used purely for educational/transformative purposes. If you want it taken down/any issues please get in touch at [email protected]!
Outro - Evil Twin Records - Wild Thing
CC-A licence used for all other clips.
All Comments (21)
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"What we do for ourselves dies with us, but what we do for others lives on" If you're struggling & want help, I highly recommend using BetterHelp online therapy. Get 10% off your first month here: betterhelp.com/keshav (affiliate link) Hope you guys enjoy this & let me know your thoughts in the comments below! - Keshav
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Whoevers reading this it's OK to cry
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The hardest part is that you can’t see your loved ones after they are gone and you miss them painfully 💔
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Coping with death is so much more than just the loss. Many of you know it's also about coping with change. It's really hard.
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I’m gonna watch this when my father dies, my father has cancer, and he is very old and I’m only 11... I’m gonna miss him I’ll edit this comment when that happens. I just know he is gonna die soon he has 3 types of cancer plus he smokes, and he is very weak. I’m gonna miss him so much Update: my father died 2 hours ago. R.I.P my dadThe sadness will fade, the loss you feel is perminentI lost my mom 11 days ago from cancer. I quit my job to be with her everyday and take care of her. I don't regret that one bit. It was time with her I would never get back. I miss her so much! This pain runs deep! 💔🙏🏼”I’ve always believed that death is a fate far better than life, for you will be reunited with lost loved ones.” - Ragnar LothbrokI was my mother's caregiver for 10 years. She just died July 10, 2019. My heart is broken into millions of pieces. I have cried every day since she left. Some days more than other. I miss you mama. Thank you for this video.My mom had a crdiac arrest infront of me out of no where. She was 57 this happened 8months ago.. Its hard to get over im sorry4every one that has to deal with the loss of a loved one. God blessI was told today my grandad is getting an operation this Thursday and he only has a 25% chance of coming out alive😓🤞🏻 please can I get a few prayers🙏🏻I lost my little brother he was only 5 years old and he drowned i miss him and his smiles and his laugh more than anything😭😭😢😢😢😢I just lost my 18 year old friend in a car accident yesterday... I can't stop crying... He was a good friend and it was all so sudden. May he rest in peace.I'm currently sitting on the floor of my father's hospital room, they say he won't last long. My father developed intestinal cancer, and fought for 2 years longer than his doctors predicted. Watching him deteriorate has been the hardest things I have been through. I don't know how to feel. I obviously feel sad, but there are so many other feelings going on, that I feel confused as well. Thanks for reading.Its not just the person but the memories, the emptiness that is created by their absence. Its so painful that you just want to see them not even physically touch them but just see them for one last time just once.I lost my gf this week. She was suffering from ovarian cancer. She was such a brave girl. She used to smile always even through she was in such a pain. This video is really helping. It's my motta now. Smile like I'm not in Pain.😊❤️My mom passed away 2 days ago and I am absolutely heartbroken and lost.Today my older brother was hit and killed while rollerblading to work at 6:30 in the morning. The street had no sidewalks and was poorly lit, coupled with the fact that the driver was distracted and speeding. She killed him instantly. His lifeless body on the the cold road. He was only 19.😭I looked up to him so much, I love you Robbie. I will never let you down..I’m gonna miss you dad. So much I love you more then I ever showed. I wish I can hear your voice again. God please give me the strengthI just lost my sister today. I needed something to ease the pain. I love her so much. I will remember her for as long as I live.
