Want More From Someone? DO NOT Chase; Do THIS Instead!
2,498,536
Published 2023-02-19
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In today’s new video, I share very specific principles that will be useful the next time you feel like you’re getting carried away with someone you like. And remember, no one (including yourself!) should make you feel like you’re “not enough.” No matter who you’re dating, by investing in yourself, you can come into any situation feeling like an equal.
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▼ Chapters ▼
0:00 – 1:47 – A Common Mistake in Early Dating
1:47 – 2:23 – Trying Harder When We Like Someone
2:23 – 3:54 – Dave Mustaine and Pete Best
3:54 – 4:41 – Learning to Value the Right Things
4:41 – 6:44 – Legs Under the Table
6:44 – 8:00 – “F-You Confidence”
8:00 – 10:51 – Don’t Let the New Relationship Diminish You
10:51 – 13:42 – Invest in Yourself
All Comments (21)
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For those of you asking about where to get your tickets to my 3 day Virtual Retreat experience in June: www.mhvirtualretreat.com/
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Don't be out there losing your mind for someone who wouldn't mind losing you.
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If you are chasing, it is because they are running away. Why keep someone in your life that doesn't want to keep you in theirs...
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"Real confidence is the ability to say no to things you DO want, when you know they're not right for you" 🔥🔥🔥
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Mixed messages or NO message are both very clear messages: they don't want you. You deserve someone who WANTS you unequivocally.
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"Real confidence isn't the ability to say no to things you don't want, real confidence is the ability to say no to things you do want when they're not right for you" - damn, this hit me.
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Experienced divorce lawyer here. Great video! Never stop doing the things that bring you joy. Invest in yourself. Never stop becoming the very best version of yourself. I’ve seen too many people get tripped up when they lose sight of their own journey and sacrifice their own best life for someone who eventually leaves them.
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In junior high this poem was on a poster Love is like a butterfly When you chase it It eludes you.. When you put your attention on other things.. It sofltly comes and seats on your shoulder..
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Who else is here watching this while waiting for a reply from that person you want to connect with? It's so easy to get stuck in our heads and ruminate over every little thing that's said or isn't said
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In short : if you find the person you want, and that person is interested in you, do NOT change in order to better suit that person. Because then you change what attracted that person to you.
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No one should be chasing or pursuing someone. You two should be running towards each other if you click.
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My elderly friend used to say"I don't want someone who doesn't want me "! Lots of truth to that.
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I started a relationship with a girl 1 month ago, she seemed amazing, comprehensive, a 10 out of 10. A few days after we made things official she began giving me less and less attentions, she was a complete differrent person. I have been in relationships and I don't consider myself emotionally weak but this change of her behavour destroyed me. In just a month I started feeling insicure about myself and I kept asking why that happened, why I always have to do everything first. I needed this video, made me realise she was litterally monopolising my thoughts and making me feel addicted to her. I will spend more time building up my "legs" and if she doesn't change, it is what it is, I still have more important things. Thank you man, you made my day.
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The person that cares the least has full control of any relationship.
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So basically, the best relationship happens when your core focus is yourself! But not in a selfish or conceited way. Great advise Mathew❤
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I think it’s also important to understand the difference between taking initiative to make your interest clear to her and chasing when she’s clearly not interested. Sometimes, the whole forcing to be emotionless and only focus on yourself thing can lead to lifetime of loneliness and jaded nihilism. It’s not wrong to show interest. However, if she rejects it, then any further initiatives are just simpy and unhealthy. It’s all about self awareness and balance.
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This has taken all the stress and depression from the past few days out of my life. Thank you.
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I just turned 33. Occasionally, friends and family ask why am I still single. Truth is, it wasn't until my 30's were I really started to challenge my relationship with myself. No matter what life goal I achieved, it didn't matter, my internal dialogue could only fixate on my weaknesses. Applying self compassion has truly changed me and the confidence I bring to any situation. To everyone here trying to grow themselves, you should be so incredibly proud of yourselves 😊
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Real confidence is when you can say no to something that you want because you know it's not good for you. Well Said.
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'When relationships don't feel easy, it's not worth your effort'
