Invisible Diversity: A Story Of Undiagnosed Autism | Carrie Beckwith-Fellows | TEDxVilnius

It's interesting how we all have that instinctual feeling of "something is not right" until we get an official diagnoses. I found out when I was 34, and I also strongly detest the high functioning and low functioning labels. The amount of times I've heard "well you've made it this far" makes me want to scream and shake in a corner. My self destructive behaviors started at age 11, and also included an eating disorder. It's masking, and should not be confused with thriving.

And I was 66 before I realised I was autistic. What a relief! A long life of feeling guilt, but now I am just me :-)

"I am high functioning but my autism is NOT mild" so true! Thanks for saying this! And that we feel emotions INTENSELY.

"There are some days where I dont get dressed and i dont get washed because those tasks are overwhelming" I have never related to anything so much.

I want to cry. My mother won't recognize that I'm autistic and hearing and watching this is incredibly validating.

If you're male and you're socially awkward: You're diagnosed with Autism Spectrum If you're female and you're socially awkward: You're diagnosed with social anxiety Gotta love gender double standards!

I wasn't diagnosed with Asperger Autism until I was 28. I'm 42 and my family STILL doesn't understand it and they still treat me like I'm a defective, shameful, broken person who chooses to be like this. It's heartbreaking and miserable.

Parents are teaching their children to mask their autism, and it’s dangerous. Thank you, this is fantastic, so clearly articulated.

I'm 24. I've been asking myself "what's wrong with me?" for the past two years. I can't describe how relieved I am right now.

I was given ECT, too. Your story is heartbreaking.... but so familiar. The "Male" autism criteria is killing women.

As a child in therapy I would say things like "I don't think I'm human". So much of what she just said feels like excerpts from my tortured childhood journals.

People don’t realize that growing up with undiagnosed autism is freaking hard. There’s been so many times where I’ve asked myself “why am I like this?” After LOTS of research, checking to make sure their from either professionals or actually autistic ppl, I was so sure that’s what I had. I always had problems talking about my emotions. But when I finally mentioned it to my mom, she just laughed, and was so sure that I “wasn’t autistic, just ADHD”. Apparently my dad heard the conversation too and now he makes fun of me. Called me the r word once too. My point is, even if your 100% sure your kid isn’t autistic, diagnose them anyway. Cause living with an undiagnosed mental illness/disability can be emotionally damaging, believe it or not.

I’ll never forget telling my high school boyfriend, “I have something they haven’t come up with yet.” Truth is they had come up with it, but my mother was also autistic and never knew. My son has his diagnosis, it is now my goal to receive mine & better understand myself for the success of our family. One day at a time.

My son is 12 and autistic and i always try to stop him when he flaps his arms or slaps his chest which was usually when he was excited or happy and he immediately becomes upset,i now know why he does this and I feel like an absolute piece of sh**.I thought i was helping and somehow knew i wasn't if that makes sense, i greatly appreciate this very informative video and will do my best

I just read a paper written by an autistic woman. When I read the line "tell us that we deserve to be alive", I cried. For the last twenty years of my life, I considered myself and my autistic family worthless. Somehow, just by knowing that I'm not the only one, I feel more brave.

I have a social expectations rule book in my mind that I have been subconsciously building on my entire life. The thing I will always find most confusing is when neurotypicals break their own rules that they created and I can never figure out what the exception was.

masking is exhausting yes. and after a while.. i forgot who I am

My (female) psychologist who I was seeing to treat depression almost immediately diagnosed me with ASD, which I didn't know I had but it didn't surprise me - in fact I was relieved to finally know what was "wrong" with me. But when I went to get a formal diagnosis for work purposes from a psychiatrist (male, only testing facility anywhere near me), they said that I'm not on the spectrum, because - get this - I drove myself to the testing, made eye contact, and scored high on the intelligence tests they did on me. The psychiatrist talked to me for only 5 minutes and asked no pertinent questions. I know I'm on the spectrum even though the psychiatrist is living in the dark ages.

My daughter is Autistic. This gave me chills. She's "on the spectrum" they say. She's "High-functioning" they say. Yet, to see your speech confirms my own subconscious truth.... That does not mean the symptoms are any less. She suffers greatly some days. Today is one of those days as she gets off the bus from school. Social anxieties and the inability to keep up with grades and pay attention leaves her mentally and physically exhausted and meltdown ready. She is tired. I am tired. 😪

i've never seen a video that encapsulates my experience more, especially with stimming. i vividly remember my dad telling me "stop flapping your hands, people are going to think you're special" and that was the last time i allowed myself to do it. my parents made fun of my meltdowns for YEARS like they were just some funny memory and not traumatic