Why I became a solo mum by choice at 24

Bryony, I started following you as I prepared for my daughter's cycle and collected information and cloth pads. I was able to start my daughter on cloth, and she has benefited from the information that you helped me with in those middle years of motherhood. As my daughter got older, we fostered a family member; in particular, she fell in love with fostering and working with children. She's gone on to be a nanny and childcare worker. As she started college, she worked out at her experiences and has since identified as ACE and would not have children of her own through a relationship. Your story and decisions have inspired her and showed her that all her dreams are possible. Thank you so much for always sharing your experiences. They have been so valuable to my family and many families.

As someone who struggles with depression, I loved your explanation of the magic of life.

I wish you could speak more specifically about the difficulties you faced fostering. I work in the US with special needs kids and I don’t know how long I will continue because of factors other than the kids. I don’t usually speak about them but I think if people actually knew what went on in special education they would find it unacceptable.

Having a child is always a leap of faith!

The life staircase is not a concept I’d heard of before but it made so much sense. I’ve always felt behind my peers in life because we moved around a lot throughout my childhood (father in the army and later building his career) which affected my education. We moved every 2-3 years so I had to constantly start afresh and make new friends etc. I ended up going to uni as a ‘mature student’ at 25 (I couldn’t face further education before that) and entered a career that involved constantly working away from home and living in hotels essentially. I’ve enjoyed my life and have had great experiences and have wonderful friends but I do feel like I missed all the usual opportunities for meaningful, long term relationships. As a result I’m single at 46. For the past 10 years I’d seriously thought about having a baby by myself but worried about finances and other people’s reactions. I got a bonus at work and took that as a sign. My daughter will be 4 weeks tomorrow and I’ve received nothing but love and joy from family and friends. My parents are besotted, especially as I’m an only child so this will be their only grandchild. My only regret is waiting so long 🥰

The "life staircase" theory is GENIUS! Something similar happened to me when I got cancer at 13 and became permanently disabled (I now suck at climbing stairs lol) I also battled with my sexuality for years and finally figured out I was bisexual a few years after that, so leading what most call "a normal life" was not impossible, but I had already put thoughts into different "lifestyles" at a young age. And I had also decided pretty early on in my life that having kids was not something I wanted to compromise on with future partners, and if I didn't have a partner that also wanted children I probay would have also been looking into becoming a SMBC.

This video has been helpful in strengthening my stance that I am perfectly capable of having a child solo and raising it with the village of my family. My parents have already said they'd support any of my siblings and I who wanted to do that. I'll give myself a couple more years - I think I think I haven found someone I'd want to have a child with before I'm 31 then I will heavily consider going it alone. Life has already thrown me off the ladder with chronic illnesses - my trajectory is inevitably going to be different. Thank you for showing people that this is a valid option ❤😊

My niece who is about to hit her 30s hasn't found the "right one" yet so she's currently thinking about taking this same path. She really loves kids too and has done a lot of work as a child care worker.

Thank you for letting me know this option is out there and sharing your story. It has empowered me.

Congratulations Bryony. I've been subscribed for a number of years and you've done an incredible job of manifesting your dreams!

I became a SMBC at 31..well he was born in August 2022 and I turned 32 a month later... I've wanted to do it for a few years, however I definitely wasn't mentally, emotionally or financially ready until I actually did go through with it. Now I'm happy I did it when I did. To me, age doesn't define you and also becoming a mom at a certain age also doesn't matter... My sister had her first at 17 (not by choice) but she was definitely mature enough for it.... I wasn't mature enough until around 30-ish...or when I got pregnant at 31.. Also, I've dated people here and there, but I've always been better on my own.. So I knew I would probably not get married etc... And yes, as I was already 31, you never know when you can't conceive anymore. I was very excited when you announced that you were also going to become a SMBC. Although it's very challenging sometimes, I wouldn't change it for the world. Can't imagine my life without my son now. I told my mom and sister long before I even tried, I still lived with my mom when I got pregnant. I told my dad only after I was pregnant, but apparently I mentioned the idea to him sometime before that, because he was like 'yeah you've talked about this before'.. I can't remember it 😂 but they were all on board and still are. I also can't believe I'm actually a mom and he's almost 15 months... I've wanted this for so long, I didn't think it would actually happen... I've also always dreamt of being pregnant (obviously), but my pregnancy was so miserable... 🤦🏻‍♀️

Great video explaining everything! As I've watched the entire journey, none of this was surprising or shocking information. I'm so happy for you and hope life continues on the good trajectory it is now for you and Oryn and your family!

After such a horrific pregnancy experience do you think you’ll have baby #2 or are you “one and done” ?

your absolutely glowing in this video Bryony, was really nice to see your perspective and the differences youve faced in the past and now, I'm a foster child and I had foster parents like you I was very very lucky, anyone would be to have you as there carer it's clear how seriously you take it and how much of your life you open up to the kids, it makes such a difference x

Have loved watching your journey. It's really helped me with my ambivalence around having kids and what to expect! Much love to you x

I'm a new subscriber - I found you through your collab with Hannah - and I absolutely love hearing your unique perspective and experiences. I have a 10-month-old son, and even though I'm not a solo parent, I relate to you so much 😊

I'm so happy for you, you brought tears to my eyes when you started talking about your son, I wish you both the best ❤

I just want to say you’re so, so well spoken and you’re just you and it’s very rare. Love you and hope you’re well.

Thank you so much for talking about the life staircase. As someone who felt really stuck on one of the steps, I needed this. Your words at the end about human history is truly magically... wish you the best on your solo motherhood journey!

Thank you for sharing your journey