The Do's and Don'ts When Interacting with a Child with Selective Mutism. Video by Lucy Nathanson

"Are you going to talk to me today?" Dear god I hated hearing that! And saying "she can speak for herself." To my close friends that I would speak to when they asked questions for me. Also My teachers used to drop my grades even though I was great in school she told my parents I had a C in the class solely because I didn't participate in class discussions. The same thing happens with my grades now in university. I'm still not able to be talkative in public but I'm a lot better than I was as a little kid thanks to therapy and understanding nice people

Thank you for this video. Every day of school was torture for me due to teachers who treated me the exact opposite of your guidelines. SM is like a lifetime curse, I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

I've got Selective mutism, I've suffered all my life. Now I'm 25 and still unable to speak to people. I had a bad time at School didn't get any help from professionals. Just feel so useless all the time. Watching your video has made me realise that people have got an understanding. Wish everyone had.

Thank you for this. I am a 16 year old girl who has suffered from this since kinder and I wish more people knew how I feel

Thank you for this video. Some teachers seriously need to watch this. I remember in seventh grade there was this student who was quiet, but not as quiet as me since he actually had friends. The teacher asked him a question, but he just wouldn't open his mouth and just smiled awkwardly. The teacher said "are you kidding me? I have two of them now". She then kicked him out of the class for not talking and immediately asked me the same question(I was the other kid who never talked) which I answered because I didn't want to be embarrassed. This kind of treatment is not the kind one should expect from an adult.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for this video! i'm 17 and i still have selective mutism. school has always been extremely hard for me. one of the worst things that has happened to me was when i started high school. my teacher said that all my teachers were informed about my sm, so i tried to not freak out. but in my first spanish class, my spanish teacher pointed at one person at a time and made them say some words in spanish. i tried not to worry about it too much, because i knew that he knew about my sm. suddenly he pointed at me, and my whole world just fell apart. i thought i was gonna faint. EVERYONE stared at me (some giggled), and he kept telling me to repeat the words after him. after a while (which felt like an eternity), he moved on, and when he was done with everyone, he asked me again. when he finally gave up on me (again), i couldn't hold in my emotions anymore. while everyone else then went around having conversations with each other in spanish, i turned around and tears just streamed down my face. i went to the bathroom after that and cried my eyes out. after that time i got more and more anxiety every day and after a couple days i quitted school. it turns out that he actually knew about this, but he didn't think it was that bad so he tried to make me speak because he thought i could do it. i don't know why i'm saying this but things like that should really not happen and it's SO important that the teachers are well informed and take it seriously!

Wow I wasn't expecting such an accurate video. I had SM from the ages of 4-18. I'm now 23 and fortunately I don't have it anymore. But every single one of your points were true for me - I could relate to each one. For example, when I spoke for the first time, I hated it when people made a big fuss over it. In fact, that exact reaction made me more reluctant to talk. You're educating people about SM, and for that I am very thankful for.

I have had selective mutism all my school life but it's gotten a bit better I talk more in school, that's where it mostly occurs. My family never knew I had this so they just called it shyness and before I even knew I had it I believed it was just shyness also. The first time I discovered I had selective mutism was in 7th grade I was also curious as to why I didn't talk in school as much as I do at home and so I found a article about it and did research and surely I did have selective mutism but I still didn't want to come to conclusions. But looking back in my 5th grade days their was this one teacher, I think she knew about this condition and knew how to deal with it and was sure I had it probably. I didn't think much about it because well I didn't know about it. She didn't put that much attention on me, she let me write on a board if I wanted to say something my classmates probably found it strange but never questioned it, but they did question my teacher about she just said "it makes her more comfortable". And I never really spoke to her but she never looked surprised when I did all she did was respond casually and I found that very comforting she treated me this way. Woah...this is the longest comment I wrote. Anyways just wanted to share also nice video! :D

Lucy, as an adult who still sometimes suffers from sm, and is really only making sense of much of my childhood now, I'd like to thank you for putting together this video ... it clearly shows the depth of understanding you have about selective mutism, and gives people very clear boundaries. 

Thank you for this! I’m 13, and people just told me I would grow out of it so they haven’t really tried to help it

My brother has selective mutism and he only speaks to me, my parents and my brother. One we were at my grandparents house and he started talking to me (I was the only one in the room) and I didn’t praise him, I just tried to keep the conversation going, I didn’t last long but it was a big step for him, and I’m proud and happy that he spoke to me

These tips are amazing! My son is five and has selective mutism. His teachers have never dealt with a student with this disorder. I'm going to show them this video. I think it's really going to help for them to know how to interact with him without putting pressure on him. .

My grandson was diagnosed with selective mutism. Thank you for your video. He will be 11 and recently started doing you tube videos and I could actually see him talking. He's so affectionate and loving. I am thankful he's finding his voice with his videos

I have selective mutism and everyone did the exact opposite

This was very excellent and directly on point. I was diagnosed with SM when I was 7-years-old in 1989 in the US. My parents, doctors and teachers did the best they could with what they had to help me and I am eternally grateful. But I wish they had had these guidelines! I wonder if I would have turned out any differently with them. I am a fully functional adult now but still struggle with certain social interactions. My elementary school years were by far my toughest. Thank you for knowing and sharing the best way to communicate with these children. I wish more people were aware of these tips when I was growing up.

I am 14 years old and I have selective mutism and have been to five different school all but one have not offered me any help on how to deal with stressful situations and treat me as if I'm shy. I believe that people need to be educated better with people who have problems like this.

I am now 23 and can sadly say that all the "don'ts" were used on me from nursery to year 6 and absolutely made me feel worse. I'm glad there's still people talking about this today :)

I wish this had been known about when I was a kid in the 80s!

Thank you so much! We got here in Finland a 9year old girl who just can't speak to some specific people. We have realised its about selective mutualism. Here in Finland we do not have much knowledge about this nor help . Thank you so much!

I have a problem and it pains me so much that I'm going through this. It seems like no doctors or therapists know what I'm going through. I feel sick. I feel so different. I hate being this way