Codependency and Abandonment Fears | Tips and Strategies for Enhancing Self-Esteem and Relationships

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I was in a very unhealthy abusive relationship as a result of therapy I learned about codependency ,and for two people to stay in a unhealthy codependent relationship they both have to have abandonment issues . Through my faith , and addressing and solving my abandonment issues I became much healthier and they gave me the strength to walk away. If I did it with all the obstacles I had to face anyone can. I am much happier now and much healthier!

This genuinely peeled back the onion for the codependent parts of myself. Figuring out why certain relationships have not worked for me and exactly why/how they grew to become toxic when I didn’t understand before is lifting a huge weight off of me. At my core I really want to heal and just Love healthily and this just helped so much. This is a gift from God, Thank you so much.

I believe I'm codependent due to toxic environment abuse from family initially. Father left and mother was damaged taking it all out on me. I was fostered in a few families. After that, because my brain was trained to be that way, I entered a toxic and unsuccessful marriage ending in divorce. I'm now 45 and trying to fix this on my own. I may or may not be single for the rest of my life but I want true happiness within first. To be happy is independence and freedom. I forgive my abusers and am ready to go forward. I want to fix this.. Thank you for this video.

I am amazed by how many of the signs for abandonment issues line up to red flags of an abusive relationships and domestic violence. Sounds like many abusers are dealing with abandonment issues... which makes sense.

My father was suddenly killed in a car accident and following his death I was unable to healthily attach to either my mom or older sister. Now in my older years I find codependency has progressed. I was never able to connect early abandonment/attachment trauma with my codependency issues. I cannot describe how grateful I am for these videos which connect these issues to each other and bring clarity and healing.

I think one of the most difficult things to conquer is meeting the needs of others, because my needs were RARELY met. Having my own children and learning a lot, I have grown and become better, but I do wish I could have done things with more ease and enjoyment, instead of always analyzing “what’s the healthy response?”. One thing I can say is that I was never cruel to my children as my parents were to me, and I always showed them tremendous praise and love. They have had a much better childhood than I had(MUCH BETTER), but as I learned to parent myself it was difficult to parent them as effectively as I wish I had. Still improving every day....

I was certainly taught to serve others (especially as a Christian) and ended up being a boozer…I’ve had enough recovery and at 50 yrs old now I’ve learned I want what’s best for me and others. I learn from my mistakes and others mistakes and am able to “kick it” within the lines…. I was a people pleaser, always aiming for perfection, at least on the outside. I’m not being a rescuer, victim, or perpetrator anymore and try stay away from those that waste their time in that Bermuda Triangle!! Peace be with you….

Holy Crap --- this explains EVERYTHING in a nut shell. Im almost traumatized by listening.

I need a therapist who has this depth of education.

This is the best program for explaining abandonment fear and its relationship tp codependency to me. Thank you.

I have core memories of literally crying myself to sleep on the porch swing or in the yard after begging my mom and dad to stay home with me or take them with me every weekend and they would leave me with my moms parents who eventually raised me it’s bothered me to this day I need this video it’s time for me to let that hurt go an give myself the love affection and care I need now thank you for this!

This came on (autoplay) randomly after Dr. Ramani & I'm so glad for that! What a great, thorough presentation! I've never heard such an in-depth explanation of these topics. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. :)

This woman just dissected who I am in a relationship. This lead to one of the healthiest realizations of my life. Repaired my relationship. Thank you so much!

My mom was physically present but she wasn't mentally present. It was never how was your day hun what was going on let me help you with your homework it was never what are you feeling today it was never anything about my feelings. I was the kind of precocious child that liked adults and I like learning about them and hearing their stories. So my mom really took advantage of that in the sense where it was always about her life her stories and the same thing with my stepfather. My stepfather was a man who was very insecure with a false bravado or false sense of confidence that he portrayed to the world. But he always needed reassurance and constant pep talks from my mother or constant affirmations even from us kids especially me. And I think because he could on a you know primitive level understand that I didn't love him as a father he resented me for that and he's also took out his own frustrations as with himself on me. Such as he would often say that I was phony or that if only the church knew who I really was. Or always telling me that I was an imposter which is very devastating to a child and confusing to the child especially if the child is still trying to figure out who they are themselves and they're being told that what they are isn't what they are. But I think that was just a projection of my father feeling as though he was a imposter all of his life and then taking it out on me. Which is horrible.

This is worth listening to several times. 👌

I found this video almost a year and a half ago now. I was going through the worst time of my life, just being discarded for a new source of supply. I could not understanding how it was possible to feel so much pain. But feel it I did. Pete Walkers books, coda, and other YouTube videos have also helped me immensely. But I will always be thankful for finding this Doc Snipes video when I did. I’ve probably listened to it 35 to 50 times by now, but it just nailed me and my narcissistic exes behaviors. Thanks again Doc Snipes, you helped me save my life.

Abuse is not acceptable emotional , verbal or physical. The need to make excuses for others is not healthy i.e. alcoholic family. Codependency= if i do x y z and complete these tasks then i will be lovable.

Yes, when I'm scared I desire for someone to ,"be there"

Thank you for making this information available to the public. I also apprecite your empathetic and measured view of personality disorders as opposed to a great many people in the profession either speaking about person's suffering in an overly intellectualized way and/or perjoratively. I am certainly not dismissing or excusing problematic behavior- I am super appreciative of a professional that speaks with empathy and understanding on this and the various other topics that you cover. Your work is appreciated.