Stop Trying To Give Birth At Disneyland

Imagine if Disney was like: If you give birth in our parks, your child legally belong to us. He will be a lifetime cast member

I just want Danny to personally know that as soon as he yelled "BALLS IN IT" a thunderclap boomed outside my window.

Imagine giving birth on a sidewalk where somone just dumped human remians

I tried giving birth at Disneyland once. But I wasn’t pregnant so it didn’t work out

I wonder if the mascots would still have to stay in character if someone gives birth there. Imagine one of the bad guy characters trying to kidnap your newborn child for the sake of an authentic Disney experience

danny sneaking in “so no head then?” into a scenario where a guys trying to convince a disney worker that he’s NOT trying to dip his balls into a root beer is one of the best things i’ve seen all week

Imagine growing up without a mother to care for you because she died trying to give birth a theme park without any medical professionals just to get you a free pass that doesn't even exist.

My best friend used to work at Disneyland as a Princess, and this woman came in who was obviously in pain walking around. She looked like she was late in pregnancy and so she decided to ask the woman what was up. She just said she was fine. Few minutes later she was on the ground releasing her gremlin. She didn’t get a pass.

My brother-in-law once said “when I die I want to be scattered over Disneyland — but I don’t want to be cremated” and I STILL think about it all the time

you made the same “i don’t know much about weddings, i’ve only been married once” joke drew did... glad to see you really are the same person after all

I was birthed at Disney Land on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad (the rollercoaster) at 7PM. I currently live in Disney Land because of the lifetime pass. The first face I saw was Goofy. Goofy handed me to my mother before accidentally falling off the side of the cart. Luckily Goofy parachuted to safety.

Aside from the obvious health risk of giving birth in public without access to medical assistance, imagine the biohazard risk of all the blood and fluids that some poor cast member would probably be tasked with cleaning up 🤢

It's honestly terrifying how disney has managed to get people to want their entire lives from birth to death in their parks

As a cast member at Walt Disney world, I’d like to point out two things:
1, I am not trained to help deliver your child so I would really rather not, and 2, I’ve never heard of a lifetime pass being a thing that has ever existed at Disney parks. We have annual passes which you have to pay for… well, annually. That’s about it.

I worked at Disneyland (in Downtown Disney) back in 2003-06 and there were definitely specific procedures for handling certain common things people would do, and all of them were definitely made to make you feel like you upset Disneyland and feel bad. Like if they caught teenagers trying to get handsy on a dark ride (they all have IR cameras), they would slow the ride, then have someone pop out of the dark and quietly say "Hey, don't do that, okay?" then the ride would start again. They want you to stop the behavior but not feel like you have to leave unless you're someone who is NOT going to stop at a reasonable point, then they will make you leave.

People are so weird. Everyone knows the kid has to be CONCIEVED at Disneyland not born there in order to qualify for the lifetime free pass.

Used to work at WDW in Orlando and took a tour of the Haunted Mansion. Not only do the ashes get vacuumed, they have to call in a biohazard crew to do that. Shuts down the ride for hours and earns you a park ban. And if you’re curious, the radio code for this is a “Code Grandma.”

Okay but fr the Disneyland first aid clinic is one of the few places in America that free healthcare exists. I went in there with a super inflamed eye because I was having an allergic reaction to ~California~ and they let me use just all of their supplies gave me free meds and a room it was very welcoming. When they gave me allergy meds I asked “does it cost anything” they said “on the mouse”. I would have a baby there.

I adopted a dog from a family that could no longer keep him, that they found dumped in the parking lot at Disney World during their vacation. They kept him for several years and even named him Disney. When I adopted him from them, he (the dog) refused let us change his name. He literally refused to respond to anything else. He ended up being the coolest dog I've ever had.

Kinda surprised Disney hasn't jumped at the opportunity to offer special themed funeral services inside the parks. I want to lay my grandfather to rest in a Mickey Mouse shaped coffin with a eulogy given by Goofy. "Ashes to ashes, hyuks to hyuks"...