5 Keys To Understanding Narcissistic Psychopathy

I have a masters in psychology. High school teacher. I believe the argument on morality is a valid one, and something I have been considering recently as I’ve seen teenagers almost completely lose their moral compass over the last few years. There is indeed an explosion in narcissistic psychopathy among my students, to quite a worrying degree. Morality does not seem to matter to many of them, on any front. And before anyone says teenagers have always been this way, I can assure that in my 23 years of teaching, what I’m seeing now is alarming. And it’s being made worse by adults who seek a reason for the behavior instead of working to stamp it out. Just as you said, the adults who should be protecting the good students, allow all sorts of immoral behavior from students who shouldn’t even be allowed in school anymore. It worries me that those of us in education who try to stand up for the good kids are labeled heartless and uncaring.

I've had a horrific childhood, but I don't go around trying to destroy peoples lives. Unfortunately, I continue to be victimized by these people because of my empathy. No more!!

I am 100% over the glorification of serial killers, psychopaths, etc. I will no longer watch those shows, interviews, documentaries. I don’t want to hear anything those POS have to say. Yes, I have listened to the experts. And we study narcissism as a desperate attempt to learn enough so that we don’t repeat getting involved with these types.

Thank you Richard. Two of my therapists including the one I'm currently seeing have asked me why the boys who assaulted me, assaulted me. It was very hurtful. I don't give a f*** if those boys were also abused or not. The fact is, they turned it on me, someone who had never done them any harm. All I ever done was try to get away from them. I am not to blame and it's not my responsibility to find out why they were so goddamn evil.

I love it when you mock. The tone is perfect and made me fall of my chair laughing because that is just how they sound. Humor makes all this tolerable. Thank you Richard.

Straight forward and spot on advice. After spending years puzzled and consumed with "figuring them out", I finally realize that when I see the N pattern of behavior, the crazy, the mind boggling and bending, I no longer need to stay and figure them out. I need to cut and run; period. Not my circus, not my monkey. I also avoid the charasmatic and charming individuals. When you make me feel like I am the only fascinating person in the room, it is a Big Red Flag waving wildly in the wind.

It is IMPERATIVE to discern evil, and name it as evil, and morally condemn it in order to heal. Your real authentic feelings know the truth. You must take moral solidarity with your real pain and real experience of evil to process it through. If you deny their responsibility, if you deny the evil or bypass it or make compassionate excuses for it, you will short circuit the healing process. This (!!!) is where therapy gets it wrong. What they must do is take full moral solidarity with the victim's moral injury in cases of abuse.

Hah! This piece of information that 40% of BPD is misdiagnosed hits hard now. I was diagnosed with BPD. Previously I had ADHD, depression, anxiety and insomnia diagnosed. I asked the psychiatrist why they did not consider cPTSD, but she told me I was too old for this (39) and the trauma was too long time ago. I was raised by a covert narcissist with ADHD and something I can't even describe - probably a sort of narcissistic psychopath or a sadistic narcissist. Thus, I had the cPTSD theory. Initially, I accepted this "being too old for cPTSD" explanation, although it did not fit right, and I started researching BPD. To some degree, it matched my issues - weak anger management and fear of abandonment. As people with personality disorders do not understand they have it, I thought it must be the case for me, too. However, the further I went with the research, the more I started suspecting I couldn't have BPD, as I have no issues with unclear self-image, no erratic relationships, I have a stable and quiet lifestyle, 99% of the time I'm emotionally balanced with two feet on the ground etc. 1% is when I get triggered by something and freak out. I spent a year trying to persuade doctors that I do not have a personality disorder and we should go back to the drawing board and test for cPTSD. Eventually, I gave up and went to another place, where they immediately recognised cPTSD. I got the treatment that improved my life in a week so drastically that I could not even imagine it was possible to feel so normal and not to have this "all the disasters that have and might happen" broadcasting in my head 24/7. I'm even able to sleep 6 hours in a row now. However, those people who thought I had BPD told me the fact that I feel constantly exhausted is due to my "personality disorder." Although I also have insomnia, which is a common symptom of cPTSD.

Thankyou so much Richard. Sometime ago, I was invited on a hike to a waterfall with a man whom I would later come to realize was a narcissistic psychopath. While attempting to scale a cliff, I asked for hand to support me as there was a long drop to the bottom. Just before I reached the top of the cliff, he dropped my hand and I started to fall. Had there not been a root of a tree for me to grab and had my interaction time not been what it was, I would not be writing this today. As I scrambled over the face of the cliff onto the flat, I looked at him in horror, asking "What did you do?" "I don't know," he replied. He did not make any move to help me up. He did not apologize. He did not ask he how I was as we made our way back to village. Two days later, when I brought up the incident again, he denied that it ever happened. I began doubting myself, believing in the possibility that what I experienced never happened. Or, if it did happen, it was an accident. And, I made excuses for him believing that he was too embarrassed to acknowledge his mistake. However, the beautiful thing about life is that the truth always comes out in the end. Recently, two acquaintances approached me to tell me that this man had made a specific attempt to contact them to want them about his concerns about my mental health. He told them both that I was "making up stories that never happened." "The murderer's blow tells us nothing of his character; but in his remorse or exultation over his deed his secret is revealed to us," wrote Julian Hawthorne in his April 1886 Atlantic Review of his father's book, The Scarlet Letter. I believe that he tried to kill me that day, to cover up a wrongdoing that he feared would be disclosed. The narcissistic psychopath is willing and capable of killing to conceal their false identity.

“Evil is evil. The end.” That part. I wasted years in a marriage only to learn day 1 wouldn’t have been too soon to get out. The things that were the worst are things no one with a moral compass could do to a spouse.

There's a book called People Of The Lie, by a psychologist named Scott Peck, written in the late 70s. His premise was that psychology needed to start talking about evil. He hypothesized that the way a person becomes evil is that they're committed to an overly pristine self image and will take drastic steps to protect that image - sound familiar? They harm people to protect their image, then feel a need to deny and cover up the harm they've done. After multiple repetitions of this cycle, Peck says, they destroy their consciences and operate in the world like psychopaths, even though they started life not psychopaths. It's an interesting read, complete with decade-suitable references to Watergate and Vietnam.

Brilliantly put! 👏 Evil is evil with NO moral compass. Richard, you should be running the country. ❤

I tangled and was trapped in a "love" ( Parasitic ) relationship with a seriously personality disordered and sadistic person. There had been injured of course in life - some of those injuries were serious and many were of their own making. BUT they were laser focused on staying with me and absorbing as much of my good nature - care - concern etc as possible. They were creative and charming but outwardly acted like a bratty undeveloped boy - but in a MANLY WAY - - he used sex mostly to entice and control me. But there was no end to their trumping my needs by theirs - scaring me and then crumbling into tears like a toddler that I had to console - - and of course I did naturally rush to comfort him as I am empathetic and felt very concerned and badly for him. BUT BUT BUT - - after fully understanding ALL THAT FED INTO HIS BROKEN STATE - - and Trying To Get Him Mental Health Support / Medication / Medical Intervention - -I finally realized HE WAS DEVOURING ME - I WAS BEING EATEN ALIVE. I know that sounds gross - dramatic - and most psychologically oriented people don't relate to that - - But the ESSENTIAL TRUTH is that I WAS FOOD FOR HIM. And I was Suffering Greatly at His Will - His Projection - His Demands for SEX ATTENTION CONCERN - - He was in a state of continuous CHAOS while calling himself SELF ACTUALIZED ! He was the definition of Crazy Making and Bottomless Insatiable Predation. GROSS is ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE THIS - - I was PREDATOR BLIND UNTIL I WAS ALMOST COMPLETELY DEVOURED BY THIS MAN. He was IMMORAL DARK ATTRACTED TO EVIL - and HE BROUGHT THAT INTO MY LIFE - HOME - and BODY - - I DID GET AWAY and I DID FACE & ERADICATE THAT DARKNESS From Around Me. I will never sit with the hungry wolf again - feeling for them and trying to find something to feed them with - - I know what a Dangerous Wolf IS Now.

I 100% agree with you!!!!! Evil people are out there hurting people every f'ing day!!!!! 😢

Now that I think about it BPD was brought up by my mom and then every provider I had just accepted it. Turns out I’m actually autistic and traumatized by being told I was willfully difficult and a horrible person because of my autistic traits

Still in recovery from a brutal experience with a vicious grandiose somatic narcissistic colleague over 30 years ago but the horror lasted two years! Did me lasting damage but opened my eyes to the damage that had already been done to me in childhood making me the perfect scapegoat on which she could dump all her toxic material - I was not alone so did not think I was insane - I had a fellow sufferer so we could commiserate - watched everyone around me being seduced and deceived - truly horrifying but woke me up to the true nature of this world we are living in. Thank you Richard - thanks to your books and videos I do not feel I am in a minority of one.

It's refreshing to hear you say this. It needs to be said. I never agreed with Vaknin on it all just being purely psychological. There's something spiritual going on. A darkness that permeates withing ones soul. Cheers everyone

I just have to add that I can see a point in the fact that evil is evil and we should be done with it, but as a victim I have to emphasize the importance of understanding what the f**k happened there and why. As a reasonably normal functioning person before this s**tshow entered my life, such type of behaviour was beyond my comprehension and understanding, and it really helped me to recognise the terms such as reactive a**se, projecting, triangulation, supply and stuff like that to be able to explain to myself what just happened. Once you're able to understand, once you heal, burn it inside and take the power away.

The father of my 3 children is evil...psychopathic. 8yrs seperated and still hell due to kids being unsafe. Recently he left the state without saying goodbye to our kids or letting us know he was leaving. Hope he never returns. 15yrs of hell is finally over. My famiy are also evil particularly my narc mother, just removed my sisters out of my life too as they are flying monkeys and they used my kids as pawns. The shit I've been through has horrified psychologists I've been to see. Really can't believe the family I was born into.

"Don't let them defang you," thank you so much. I needed to hear this today. Really great video and you are completely right Bundy was just a weak coward who only killed those weaker than him.