Faces of Attempted Suicide #WorldSuicidePreventionDay | Men's Health UK

ironic how a magazine that feeds off men's insecurities is pretending they care

Depression feels like your trapped in your mind, an empty void of your own

To face death in complete control and choose death must take more courage than people can comprehend.

Been there, twice, failed twice. I admire people with the strength and courage to succeed.

Depression and anxiety destroys you in every way imaginable!

I'm 30. Time to time the feeling creeps back. Last attempt was 3 years ago. Was drunk, pissed off, going 85mph and tried to drive off a bridge into a lake. I burned a lot of bridges after that. A lot of people I thought I knew, were the reason I kept trying to end it all. Nowadays I live far from them and I hope to god that I never see these people ever again in my life.

I think for men it's so much harder when you're alone. Especially if you crave the companionship of a woman, someone you can open up to and confide in. When you don't have that significant other, things feel so dark.

Sometimes I really feel like going. it comes across my mind quite a lot and it’s like I want to be here but I don’t want to. Who knows what the future brings

I went to my line manager about a month ago and said I haven't been coping very well. She (who now works from home) said that the needs of the business must come first. Nothing has been done and I'm living in a total state of anxiety. Can you imagine if the sexes were reversed in this conversation? We've recently celebrated International Woman's Day (quite rightly) as we did last year. But unfortunately International Men's Day was totally overlooked. I will be submitting this video to my HR department urging that the event is highlighted this year.

They say suicide is a cop out but choosing when to die and having no fear of death is a very brave thing. Everyday I'm getting a bit closer to that time when Im at peace asleep forever.

It’s funny, I just felt absolutely calm when I had an attempt, but at the same time I was just thinking over and over again.

DO NOT talk to anyone about it. They don't know what to do or say. The mental health professionals do nothing. You will lose everything, like I did. My job, my friends, my marriage. All through talking about my mental health.

They say to contact Samaritans but the last few times I had a breakdown and called out of desperation, I was put on hold for five minutes and no one ever picked up.

In my forties now, attempted suicide in my late teens, not a cry for help as there wasn't any really at the time, I went somewhere that no one ever goes, took a load of pills and injected air into my veins, woke up two days later in hospital, a dog walker had found me, there's a line you cross when you want to die, it's different than just being depressed, feeling nothing is a dark place to be, even now I struggle, luckily I have a family to keep me focused but there is always the feeling that I'm on a knife edge, I exist for others!

I'm going to unload here because there is nowhere else that i can. Don't read if you're easily unsettled or triggered. I'm 23, from the UK. I suffer with depression and anxiety. I attempted Suicide last year, 2018; I hung myself. full suspension, but no drop. It was not an impulsive decision, i didn't do it on a whim. It took months of desensitization to the idea of the rope around my neck, and the sensation of falling unconscious and avoiding panic, before i was ready to go through with it. That took an enormous amount of mental energy, now, over a year later, im still drained by it. Despite this, I've still decided that I'm going to do it again, i haven't picked a date, as im yet to rebuild the necessary mental fortitude. it's also partly to do with the fact that good rope is exceptionally hard to buy in the UK for some reason lmao. Anyway, here's context as to why i'm doing/have done what im doing. Depression is a serious problem. It is a plague, it corrupts your entire process of thinking. Your 'Roadmap' of life is warped to a point where, the location you're currently at is awful and every possible position you could move too is awful AND there is no end goal or achievement that would mean anything valuable or useful whatsoever. It applies to everything; Your appearance? 'Awful and there is nothing you could possibly do to improve it in any meaningful way at all'. Your academic or career achievements? 'Worthless and there is nothing you can do to make them valuable'. Your friends? 'They don't actually like you and just take pity on you'. It makes failures infinitely harder to deal with aswell. You failed a class by a few points? 'Why the fuck are you even trying? Drop out, there's no possible way you could ever pass that class'. Get rejected by someone? 'lol its because you're ugly af and pathetic'. Now, here's the thing, you can get past that with logical, mindful thinking. Thats what they teach you when you go to CBT(Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) It still fucking sucks, but you can pass that. However, if, like me, you have a nihilistic philosophy, you're in a bad position. Because now, life has no objective purpose or meaning AND you have an exponentially increasing burden for you to bear. So here we're upping the level of suffering a little bit more. So the therapist's response is; "Okay, so objectively, life has no purpose or meaning, but that doesn't mean you can't create a subjective meaning and purpose in your own life". Yeah, you're absolutely right, there are multiple avenues for success in a modern human life. Academic, Social, Career, Family just to name a few. Well, personally, i can't succeed Academically because i likely have a below average IQ/intelligence and both of those are REQUIRED to succeed in that field. Career? I'm not interested or driven enough in any task to seek a career in it, remember not every job is a career. I can't achieve socially because i'm too socially awkward and am anxious constantly, i tried most of my life to achieve this one to no avail. Family is the only objective i can set short term, but it is short term because my parents will not be around for much longer due to deteriorating medical conditions. So now what? we have a short term objective of 'Live for your family' for a few years, then? Okay okay, lets just say that we can forget about most of the problems and just get a job and exist. I don't even want to be involved in (and i know how fucking cringe this sounds) society. a good 50%++ of my life will be spent working, Why? 'because you have too'. The fuck kind of response even is that. You're now in a circumstance where, the game of life has handed you a poor hand of cards, So you can't possibly win the game, but also, the game itself is something you cannot bare to play, but you're held at gunpoint to play it and cannot leave. What do you even do? there is no out. To extend upon that, you can't even talk about this shit to anyone either. One, it's a hell of bombshell to drop on people and it is horribly unfair to share. Two, To spread this burden to others is to potentially expose them to a line of thinking that they hadn't considered, and dragging them down with you. And yes, to be clear, it IS a burden. To confide in people is to share the load, to share severe problems such as this, is seriously taxing to those listening. Even therapists, people professional trained to deal with this kind of problem, need constant breaks and help as to not get mentally and emotional fatigued. So in addition to all that crap previously mentioned, You're alone to bare the burden aswell. look man, i know "To live is to suffer, to be alive is to find meaning in the suffering." but when every possible avenue of success is something unachievable, most of your time in this world is spent doing something you despise, you believe that there is objectively no reason to do what you're doing, AND you have an ever growing weight that continues to crush you relentlessly. What possible other conclusion do you land at other than suicide? As a final note, because people will probably mention it; I've been to therapy, it was nice but ultimately unhelpful. I was taken to a psych ward - A horrible experience and i'd rather not relive it. I am indeed on medication, it helped a lot, but, my problem is rooted rather deeply. The UK Mental Health sector needs work. It is currently poor in my experience. The last thing i want to get off my chest, to all those people who think they're helpful by saying "It gets better", Stop saying that. Because No, it doesnt, you just tolerate it more, it always hurts just as much. Signed, Some Guy from the UK.

I think I'm close, I looked at my food and thought was is the point of eating this just to keep the pain alive. I don't know what to do

My Depression started the day I got Psoriasis, after that I ended up getting IBS and have early stage psoriaic Arthritis. It doesn't help that I'm only 21, because I know no matter how bad it is now these disease's are only gonna get worse with age. The worst part is what I feel like mentally, everyone I know looks at me as the funny guy but can't tell how fucked up I am in my own head.

I'm 27 and I've struggled with mental issues (Bipolar, anxiety, OCD, ADD, etc) for as long as I can remember. I'm pretty sure if I had access to a gun, this comment wouldn't exist and I'm not sure I'll exist this time next year. I'm exhausted being alive and I'm tired of my struggles being ignored. Most of all, I'm tired of it all

I don't expect my friends, family and loved ones to understand me or my everyday struggles, but i do fear when they do it will be too late.

idk man, I don't think I'll be able to handle these thoughts much longer