40,000 Years Passed After Earth's Destruction, Humans Gave Them One Message: "Run" | HFY Scifi Story

A handheld computer… Probably a smartphone… After 40,000 years the thing turns on… Can only be a NOKIA!

Wood be much better, if the AI didn’t read the . (dot) out loud.

The bot just drones on and on

the issues with this story is if the humans are that far advanced and can cut through that enemy they would not at all be waiting for the krell and they certainly would not be hiding from the zani for thousands of years just to start kicking the now thousands of years more advanced zanis asses as if they were still far far far superior. this would be the same as a modern fully supplied tank batallion with a fully working industry behind them hiding for thousands of years from some early paleolithic people just to be woken up 10 thousand years later by some slightly less early paleolithic people just to form an alliance with these slightly later paleolithic people to take on the other slightly more modern paleolithic people they were hiding from for some reason in the first place just to wipe out the slightly more modern paleolithic people as if they werent even there. also a single krell ship with 20% shields that was overwhelmed by the single zani battleship when it was at 60% shields is not going to last for more than 1 volley against an entire battle group much less hold them off for any amount of time worth anything. not to mention a ship captain of what seems like a frigate or smaller is not going to be forming alliances with dante who seems to be the leader of the ancient humans unfortunately this is worse than the story where the aliens didnt understand how to make high pressure in a tube force something out the end of the tube at high speeds yet they were a star faring race with a massive reach anyway I do hope this critique helps. lastly ditch the AI voice just talk into a mic and do a bit of audio editing the AI does a very poor job of reading creating odd pauses where there shouldnt be any and inflections in the wrong spots and down tones in the wrong spots as well. change the story to where humans might have been seen as mythic gods but the reality is they were hiding from a slightly more powerful foe and are actually on par power wise with the krell who are also slightly behind this other foe. that would make a really intriguing story with an interesting set of twists that would not be expected ... also you completely dropped the narrative you had going with the pirates as well which makes me suspect this story is atleast partially AI generated ... there is other oddities as well basically there is nothing transitioning the story from one scene to the next so going from bridge to addressing crew to sudden popuppirates to never hearing about the pirates again who should have been there fighting the zani ship to sudden surprize ship rocking under attack and then there is no transition from the derelict station back to the ship nor any indication of where they were fighting to delay the zani were they in the ship grave yard fighting or were they back through the portal or were they taking the voyager way home aka the long way or was the ship graveyard actually pretty close but just confused them because the sudden change of location?

would have been much better if it wasn't an AI narrator.. The sentences were constant run ons.. Pitiful.. near the end it kept skipping.. Really sad..

Stop with the ai. It really ruins a good story

The verbal commentary keeps running sentences together, as does the text commentary.

Why is the bot reading this pronouncing the period at the end of each sentence as DOT ??? Get a person to read this or read it yourself and scrap the bots all they do is ruin good stories !!

11:11 Boring voice, Boeing story. Just uninteresting