The Autism Disclosure Dilemma

Please don't take this the wrong way (I'm speaking from internal experience after all); this is the most autistic possible answer to "should I disclose if I'm autistic." And I freaking love it.

bro really built a flowchart to explain if we should disclose or not... I'm at home <3

Thanks Mike. One additional caution, from a slightly different arena, I would like to add, never underestimate how little people see you, even people you love. You might think 'Surely they noticed X', but omg, no they didn't.

My life experience for what it's worth (PDD-NOS) - do it in a stealthy or smooth way. The brash / abrasive way is to walk up and say 'Hi! I'm autistic!'. The much safer way is to get into conversation with coworkers, have a story your telling that's related to what they're discussing, and in passing you can mention that you're autistic as a modifier. Most importantly - do that after they've already accepted you at least enough to chat, not while they're still vetting you. What I think is really important as well - you absolutely can't do this when either a) your coworkers or friends are still new and sorting out who you are or b) you're either on the out or in danger to where the disclosure looks self-serving. It has to come out when it makes zero demands of anyone and has no implied demands that can be construed, even better if you can use it in a way that says 'I trust you enough to convey this and I'd like to up our trust'. Obviously whether or not you can do that depends on the severity of the symptoms, I'm in the position where I don't look disabled at all and things go badly if there's even potential suggestion that I'm trying to cash-in.

I just directly tell people right off the bat, almost confrontationally. It shows what people are like right off the bat, throwing them off if they look at it and discredit it or instantly are still an asshole and they’re not worth your time being very direct about it is the best approach to to evaluate the type of person in front of you and whether they are worth your time.

I absolutely love this format! No idea why other autistic creators make flowcharts because it makes things so easy to understand.

Diagnosed at 48 after my son was diagnosed and his Dr. gently suggested I look into a diagnosis myself, I told my brother, who I am very close with, and he accepted it. I cannot imagine any scenario where I share that information with any other members of my family.

I tell them - they jump to conclusions about the condition based on misconceptions they have. I don't tell them - they jump to conclusions about my behavior based on preconceived notions they have. Tell me the difference, and I'll start make a distinction. Until then, it doesn't matter...

Absolute legend for actually flowcharting this out. Feel like there's also a lot of dilemma around possibly being considered attention-seeking or lazy when, by definition, high-functioning. Invalidation is everywhere, people with depressive disorders have learned this first.

Flow charts ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Newly diagnosed at 37, thank you for making this, I need help figuring it all out when dealing with social situations

For a long time my teammates at work have all respected and celebrated each others differences. They all know its our different strengths combined that help make our team successful. So I was very comfortable letting them know the next day after my assessment. For me it was just to let them know why I was different. We have all worked well together for years, so it was not about looking for any accommodations or help. But for my team mates it was just confirmation of something they new about me all along, and it did not matter to them why I was different.

Well done, Mike! I love how authentic issues in the community get transformed into informative content on your channel. Many thanks.

Hi Polly, hi Mike! I am another member of Team Flowchart 💜 This could be the start of a decision flowchart series - some serious, some just fun!!!!! "How to choose what pet is best suited to you" is what popped into my head first 😄🐈🐕🦙🐀🐤🦆🦜🐌🦞🕷🐍🐠🐹🐸🦃

Love me a good flow-chart! 🥰I've made many flow-charts to help navigate other types of conversations needed to survive in a corporate environment in my tiime. And for first-dates, ya know, like one does.

My experience is some relatives, close freinds and seemingly compassionate colleagues struggle. Ive often found they'd rather maintain the slightly abusive response (based on ignorance), that you're not divergent, you're just odd, weird. They know you're different, but they'd rather rely on stereotypes than the diagnosis of a consultant whose studied for years, with decades of experience, specialising in this particular field. Once you've planted the seed, some of them later absorb accurate information and reconsider, based on observations of your behaviour veiwed through a different lense.

Thank you so much for this! I love the flow chart. It came at a perfect time as I've been trying working out how to share my diagnosis with my dad. Plus, it's made me look back at how I've disclosed to other friends and family to see how I could clarify what sharing that info meant to me and give them some resources to explain more about what autism is since I've realized how many people are still relying on outdated understandings of autism.

If you don't have an official diagnosis, you can't get workplace accommodations. BUT if you have comorbid issues that are diagnosed, you can request accommodations under those headings. These other diagnoses might be less intimidating (?) to disclose. For example, my workplace had a habit of changing my assignment for the day without telling me. I don't care which assignment I have, but finding out at the last second really throws me off. It ruins the whole day. I asked for them to send me a text beforehand - and blamed my anxiety. The loophole won't work for everyone, but I thought it was worth mentioning.

Oooh looking forward to this one. But need sleep first, damn. This pneumonia makes me feel like an old lady in the evenings 😭 (although my elevated temp could be a contributing factor of course lol)

🏆 Great Video. Thank you.