Steven Wright Hilarious Moments On Conan
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Published 2024-01-26
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All Comments (21)
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"I intend to live forever, so far so good" -Steven Wright
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His brain is in another dimension.
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“As a child I had a quick sand box. I was an only child…eventually.”
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"I have the largest seashell collection, I keep it scattered on all the beaches in the world."
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"Four years ago, no yesterday. Oh no that wasn't me.'' Steven Wright.
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"I love seeing kids on a play ground. Running around screaming. They don't know I'm using blanks." -Steven Wright
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Steven Wright is a comic genius
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"I have two very rare photographs, one of Houdini accidently locking himself out of his car, and the other of Norman Rockwell beating up a child."
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I saw a restaurant, the sign said "Breakfast Any Time." I went in and ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
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“You know you can’t have everything … Where would you put it anyway ? “ Genius Steven
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3:45 "It's my theory that the ending of the Cold War is what caused global warming."
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“What’s another word for thesaurus?”
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2 of my fav Steven Wright jokes, "I bought a cordless extension cord" lolol, and "I bought some powdered water but I dont know what to add to it"
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I always wished I could be a bird. Why? So you could fly? No. So my shit would be white.
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"She hung herself, and we thought she was a piñata." 😂💀😂💀
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"I had a friend who was a radio dj. We once went on a road trip and whenever we went under a bridge i couldn't hear him"
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I feel like being friends with Steven Wright would be impossible hahaha. He'd be such a smartass all the time and you would never get a real honest talk out of him. hahaha love this dude.
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When the great Billy Connolly says this guy is the funniest man on the planet, that's the highest praise you can get
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One of the very funniest comedians on the planet!!!
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King of the surrealistic one-liners. It helps that Conan gets and enjoys his jokes. A few go uncomfortably dark. Still, a fave of mine. He'll start you off with two plausible things that just din't go together. "I had a friend who lived at a dead end at the end of a one-way street. Once you got there, you couldn't get out. He had a circular driveway. You just kept going around and around."
