What Causes Narcissistic Collapse?

Pathological envy is what defines them

One cure for a narcissist - run, run fast, and run far away and DON'T LOOK BACK - EVER.

Once you fully comprehend that these people ARE toddlers, it all clicks into place. It's really all you need to know.

They literally cannot handle the truth.

They also start freaking out when they’ve gotten away their entire lives without any accountability and suddenly are seeing justice might start being served to them FINALLY.

A lot of people in the comments are confusing narcissistic rage and a Narcissistic collapse. Narcissistic collapse is something quite specific - it's almost an existential thing for the Narcissist in which their Narcissist self image is damaged and reality intervenes in a truly profound way that cuts through their armour. It usually looks like quite serious depression and is often mistakenly treated as such - their whole world view has been wrecked and they are left unsure who they are, leaving them very debilitated. It can certainly be mixed in with periods of narcissistic rage as they thrash about, but they are distinct things. It very often comes with ageing when they just can't get away with what they used to do when young, or when they finally get seriously caught and can see no way out of it. The dream they have lived in all their lives suddenly starts to appear to them as ridiculous and they are left scared, anxious and lost.

It's like watching a giant child have a temper tantrum! It's scary that a grown adult can behave this way, but then you learn all about Narcissism, you realize that they aren't mature adults, but adults with arrested development and they are VERY emotionally immature people. The problem is, they like to lash out and hurt others in the middle of their "collapse" or temper tantrum and they are actual adults and can do much damage, even almost kill someone, which was my case. They can be scary people!

Take your typical spoiled toddler having a meltdown because they didn't get what they want. Now scale that up to the adult level.

I appreciate your efforts to bring this problem to the public's attention. I think you failed to mention, however, that in the midst of a crisis, the narcissist may very well lash out, using anything available to them to strike at those around them they perceive as having betrayed them. When I finally left an abusive narcissist, I became the victim of false criminal allegations by my ex-partner and had to appear in court to defend myself against these accusations. Fortunately for me, the judge was clear-headed and quickly ascertained what was going on. Nevertheless, it made for several weeks of extreme anxiety for me, homeless at the time, which was pretty anxiety-provoking in itself. Can't emphasize enough: if you recognize a partner in these videos, run, don't walk, as far and as fast as you can. Sure, maybe they can get help and become healthy, but you don't want to wait around for that to happen. (Five years of counseling and things only got worse in my case.) Live in your car if you have to, give up your possessions, your dog, what physical comforts you might receive from this abuser and flee for your life. You don't want to get old with a narcissist as your caregiver!

I just hope I live long enough to see my narc ex collapse

I am astounded at how accurately you describe Narcissism. Your insight is amazing. Always spot on. Thank you.

Having been witness to someone who most likely was in Narcissist collapse, it is an amazing experience to literally feel the intensity of rage, shame, guilt and blame that they have inside of them. It’s like watching a man drowning, thrashing around for dear life begging for help, but willing to drown you if you jump in with a laugh and sneer. Your empathy and kindness will be spit back in your face. As you said, they have maladaptive coping skills that end with the exact opposite of what they ‘say’ they want. It is a heartbreaking thing really. Although I have learned to walk away from these desperate life-negating energies and just say a small prayer for their healing.

I've seen this happen, it is kind of sad but effectively we cannot help them, nothing can help them. We can only help ourselves by distancing ourselves from them.

Narcissism is so common in society today I think we lose our ability to recognize it a lot of the time. We overlook the narcissism of family and friends to protect them and our relationships we have with them. Nobody wants to break down all the narcissists in their life for fear of having nobody left. I've had to remove all narcissists from my life. It was painful and left me with virtually no friends but it was worth it. Loneliness was always there now I don't have to deal with narcissists and be lonely too. I got really sick of the mind games and the compromise we have to make to maintain toxic relationships with toxic people. They expect it of us and it just gets worse and worse over time until we just can't take it anymore. We try to rationalise we say to ourselves maybe if I'm extra nice and forgiving they will change or maybe they will finally realise how sick they are and just stop being that way. The #1 rule with narcissists is they will never change short of absolute catastrophe. I would rather be alone than suffer the toxic poison you have to drink to have narcissistic friends and family. Enforcing boundaries is about making sacrifices.

No supply. May throw biggest tantrum, stop eating so those around them have to watch their implosion. That gives them supply.

You totally nailed this, Darren. My mother has been having a meltdown for the last 3 months because, now in my mid-60s, I finally told her of 2 recent events where she'd stomped all over my boundaries. Setting the boundary in the first place had taken all my courage!!!!! She's gone through several stages, trying to convince my husband that she's done nothing wrong and is terribly confused (because she's sooo sweet she could never do anything wrong), and now she's trying to convince hubby that I'm in need of psychiatric help and am crumbling because we don't have a dog any more. I'm actually shocked at how fully she can not concieve that she could have had the least thing to do with the behaviour that caused me to speak with her. I was firm with her, but there was no anger, no blaming, nothing I wouldn't repeat in front in anyone on the planet. In fact I was (and still am) incredibly impressed with how beautifully, patiently and calmly I handled her. She can do whatever she likes, she is never taking that away from me. And after 47 years, she has finally shown my hubby who she truly is. The flying monkey, that he has been all this time, has completely awoken from the spell and the validation to me is like a miracle.

I’ve witnessed a sibling have a narcissist rage twice. I think she is undergoing/has undergone at least one collapse. She is alone in her life and it is all her doing - that is the piece that is critical for her to understand. But instead, she goes onto social media and posts how awful her family is for not checking in on her. And has begun to engage in character assassination (mine in particular). I do not believe in the commonly held platitude: “blood is thicker than water”. No toxic person is worth ruining your self just to “keep the peace.”

"Narcissistic collapse" or decompensation refers to a significant and sudden breakdown in the functioning and self-image of an individual with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or a person with narcissistic traits. It occurs when their inflated sense of self-worth is severely challenged or when they experience a major failure or loss that threatens their ego and self-esteem. Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by an excessive preoccupation with oneself, a grandiose sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Individuals with NPD often have fragile self-esteem that is maintained through the constant validation and admiration of others. They may display a sense of entitlement and react strongly to any perceived criticism or threat to their self-image. Narcissistic collapse can occur when the individual encounters a significant life event or a series of failures that expose their vulnerabilities and challenge their idealized self-image. This can include professional failures, relationship difficulties, loss of status or power, or public humiliation. During a narcissistic collapse, individuals may experience intense emotional distress, such as depression, anxiety, shame, or rage. They may become hypersensitive to criticism or rejection and struggle to maintain their previous façade of superiority. They may withdraw socially, exhibit self-destructive behaviors, or engage in impulsive actions to protect their fragile ego. It's important to note that narcissistic collapse does not imply that the individual will seek therapy or change their narcissistic traits. In some cases, it may lead to a temporary reduction in overt narcissistic behaviors as the person retreats or isolates themselves. However, they may eventually reestablish their defensive mechanisms or seek new sources of validation to regain their sense of superiority.

Well, I personally know one reason: when you get up and leave them!

Trying to recover after years of heartbreak and abuse with a narcissistic husband. Left debt, heartbreak and a lot more. While he’s living his best life with his new mistress, I’m left sorting out the mess and unfinished business he left behind😢