9 THINGS DANES SAY TO FOREIGNERS THAT SEEM RUDE BUT ARE TOTALLY HARMLESS: Culture Clashes in Denmark
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Published 2021-04-08
#Danmark #Denmark #ExpatsInDenmark
Intent matters when you talk to a Danish person. Sometimes you will hear a Dane say something that seems mean, rude, annoying, or confusing. Think to yourself, “what was the intention?” In many cases, it was not to be rude, you just misunderstood.
Danes are really good at speaking English, it’s easy to forget that they’re using a second language and just because you’re speaking the same language, you may be saying or hearing different things.
Things get lost in translation.
“Hvad laver du i Danmark?” or “What are you doing in Denmark?”
When spoken by a Dane in flat, direct English can sound so accusatory! Usually, it is a nice conversation, people want to know what brought you to Denmark
We get this when we meet people at parties, neighbors in our building, etc.
There is a bit of questioning in it, Danes can be a little wary of foreigners in general.
Danes are also guilty of downplaying everything and makes some things Danes say sounds rude or unable to take a compliment. Danish culture is about the simple things, and enjoying the simple things for what they are and not trying to make them what they are not. It is almost like going on and on about something makes it less special - which is different for Americans where affirmation and overstatement are a big part of the culture.
The infamous Danish Directness can seem like a culture clash in Denmark. Danes get right to the point, but it’s not meant to be rude. Danes see directness as a virtue! It also is a sign of respect - they believe that you deserve the truth.
Kvajebajer is the idea that Danes will have no problem laughing at their friends, but it’s more to include you and because they want to laugh with you when you make a mistake. And it is expected that you will do something to make up for the error like bring a cake to work or buy a round of beer.
“Kvajebajer” or “kvajekage” - failure beer or failure cake, is a way of taking ownership in good fun.
“I have doubts” can sound like a rude thing for a Danish person to say, especially to American or British people. This is similar to Danish directness but a case where direct translation loses connotation. Many emails use the phrase “I have doubts” when trying to express some questions about whether the right solution is being proposed. Know that although Danes speak great English, the connotation behind certain words can be lost and is not intentional
Danish people use a lot of English curse words. Even if you don’t speak Danish, you’ll sometimes hear conversations among Danes with words you recognize - specifically English cuss words, they don’t pack the same punch as a Danish cuss word.
How’s your Danish coming? Is a funny question that sometimes sounds rude from a Dane. We covered this in another video: • 9 REASONS WHY DANES DON’T LIKE YOU: E... It can also be a little nagging to remind you that you live in Denmark and should be learning Danish!
The Danish Flag Everywhere, and it's a symbol of celebration! This may be off-putting to people who come from places where national flags are divisive. If you see Danish flags on your desk at work or in your Facebook comments, it is not hazing, it is a celebration!
Danes can sometimes sound rude when they say, “That’s how we do things in Denmark”. As Americans, we are used to people giving their opinion on our country, but Danes don’t like this.
Beer: Anarchist Motueka Lager from Theodor Schiotz brewery in Odense.
Photos:
Bea Arthur photo by Alan Light, CC BY 2.0 creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
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CHAPTERS
0:00 - Intro
0:19 - Tips for Understanding Danish Communication
2:13 - Why We Made This Video
2:58 - "What are you doing in Denmark?"
4:15 - Downplaying Things
6:29 - Danish Directness
8:11 - kvajebajer
10:25 - "I have doubts"
12:45 - Danes Love Cursing
15:10 - "How's your Danish?"
16:33 - Use of the Danish Flag
18:25 - "That's how we do things in Denmark"
20:57 - Closing Thoughts
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All Comments (21)
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As a Dane I must say I always appreciate seeing how we are viewed by others. Really helps reflect on yourself. Thanks for the great video!
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Danes love to hear about Denmark. It's a small country so we really like to hear why people Choose to visit Denmark. Thats always why Danes love seeing refereances to Danmark in Movies and series.
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In parts of northen jutland, the biggest compliment you can get is: you have done worse.
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Starting to think you guys might understand Danish culture more than I do myself..
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Curse words don’t have very much power in Denmark. They are not taboo and are used much more freely - both the Danish and English words. There are no rules on swear words on Danish TV, no bleeping! Most of the time TV presenters and people being interviewed on TV don’t swear but if it happens there is no consequence. They might say “excuse me”, but not always. Children’s TV have sometimes been criticised for containing a lot of swearing, but creators use it in their programs to reflect how kids in Denmark speak in real life. They know that it will quickly sound unrealistic if non of the kid-actors swear😉
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My grandmother was Danish. I wish she had taught me some Danish, but she only spoke English in America. She brought me to Denmark and Norway when I was in high school to meet family and see the countries. I'm laughing so hard because she had a lot of these Danish personality and cultural characteristics! I miss her so much, if I could learn the language sufficiently I probably really love it there! Sounds like my kind of people ❤ 🇩🇰
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Most of these examples I never thought that they would sound rude to foreigners 😅 Great video! 🇩🇰
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#3 It's also a sign of respect for your mental resilience. If a Dane starts using flowery language or beating around the bush they're either trying to sell you something or they think you would be hurt by the directness, the way you might try to explain to a child that their dog died, you know?
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Danish are great, a friend and I was down there (from Sweden) to visit a friend and I lost my phone on a night out. The next day my friend got a phonecall from my phone and it was the guy who had it who called to arrange to meet so I could get it back. How excellent is that!?! Heja Danmark!
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Q: How is your Danish coming along? A: It’s stuck in the back of my mouth at the moment, but I’m working hard on shoving it further down my throat to make it sound more like the real thing.
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true. silence would be a bigger insult from a dane than "making fun" over a mistake. we would never joke with someone we didnt feel comfortable with. Take is as you are accepted into the team.
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Another aspect of kvajebajer, is making it up to the team, who maybe had to do extra work to compensate for your mistake.
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I was an exchange student in Minnesota for a year. One time I hit my foot in class and cursed. Then I got detention, which would never happen in Denmark 😂
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20 years ago, I was an exchange student in Idaho, at a Mormon family. Great family ♥️ But in Denmark we used the word "smartass" as a funny word, never bad intentions..... Ohhhh but it was the wrong word to use in Idaho 🤣
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When someone from Jutland says "that something isn't too bad" he actually means "that it is extremely good"
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The thing with the flags, when you see it all the way up, it’s a celebration, if it’s only half way up, it’s for a funeral.
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For #1: ”Hvad laver du?” = ”What’s your job(situation)” or "What do you do for a living". It’s one of the most common conversation starters. So much that it’s a cliché.
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A quick note for the #7 - It could also be because we' trying to figure out whether we should be talking danish or english in the conversation. It can seem pretty rude/embarrising on our part speaking english if the other person actually does speak danish. 😊
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Making fun of you is a declaration of affection. I'd ever only laugh at somebody that I liked and I get all warm and fuzzy if it happens to me. Also self deprecating humor is very Danish, that way you invite others to have a go at you.
