HHCI Seminars – Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

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THE NARCISSIST'S PRAYER: That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did... You deserved it!

I was once married to one. She made me feel like pure shit. She made me look like I was crazy. I took my stuff one day and left. I never came back.

With all due respect to this gentleman‘s experience and interactions, the description he is Describing is a very basic type of narcissistic personalities. Plural S. Narcissism is a spectrum and that being said the most dangerous type is the covert malignant/master manipulator type narcissist. A masterOf deception

This was fabulous, I was so tired of hearing how narcissist are successful blah, blah, blah. The real truth is that they are not. These people are a mess, and very unsuccessful, forever future faking, meanwhile wasting years of your life. Do not stay in a relationship with these people, you will truly regret it.

The narcissist I know is very charming and works hard, hes competitive and is quite proud and very valued. Most people like him very much, not met many who dont. Yet he still meets these other qualities. Very masking, I was unaware of how deceptive...I knew he was extremely deceptive, but never knew he was manipulative and to a extreme for years without my knowledge. He was always able to convince me my gut was off or my mind was wacky...which is odd. I Wasnt ever perceived that way until he made 'his' people think this perception of me. Im pretty solid n alway was, he mistook my trauma as meaning crazy? Well he drove me to it and I dont think pain equals crazy, I think going around detroying people without conscious is crazy. Its dangerous all around. Also hes held on to me for years n years, n has been nurturing, just not intimately, which I understand he cant be vulnerable. He views it as fear and weakness, while I view narcissism as weakness. Also he was eventually able to accept that he is a narcissist and I thought we were working on things well in therapy. I was wrong, he has done the worst things he could ever do and hes punishing me for finding out as i feel like Im dying, I dont understand this. Im being punished for not believing im crazy when i know he and I both know he did vile things. You would think you would try to handle with care, not keep attacking...but no....this is frightening and after 7 years I feel like I been living with ted bundy and Im scared and my whole life with him was not real. He kept me with loyalty and i felt taken care of, which felt 'safe', but I always felt he was unsafe, I ran and he chased me for years. I think he was one uping me behind my back.

Narcissist personality disorder hold positions of power and authority. Doctors, lawyers, therapists, political leaders, police officers, CEO'S. Its not truthful to suggest that NPD are failing. Its frankly wrong to only assume that these people are failing in life. Far far too many in control of others sadly.

My ex husband is an Narrisist just like his Father, had 28yrs of it his cheating got out of control and no respect for me and our children got out n staying out NO EMOTION NO EMPATHY just a shell but everybody else's fault, after years studying this disorder see it now for what it is, they are extremely SAD individuals and severely damaged Thank God I am out and free fr this, he thinks me and children are at fault, knew when I met him all those years ago that something was off but didn't know then about this disorder.

It's not rare to have narcissistic personality disorder. People don't get diagnosed because they don't know there is anything wrong with them.

I feel like a lot of the reason we don't see these disorders in successful people if because we sort of make that part of the diagnostic process. The interesting part is that you can meet all of these (or close to) characteristics but be born into wealth and privilege. The reason why I think this is interesting is because of how money and status can lead you to a successful life without actually really working on yourself as a person. You can buy your way into situation. You can borrow money and manipulate the system. People trust you because of your status and therefore you are already on top and really have no repercussions for your job, if you are the one leading the way. But we would never diagnose this person with NPD because it doesn't appear to be effecting their life. I think things would look very very different if this example of a person would have to start from the bottom and take direction from others. In other words lack power.

A lot of men experience this, we just don’t speak about it in the public. But, I think informed professionals and new studies prove that this isn’t a gender specific disorder. There will be typically be more women at events no matter what.

-being grateful to have come across this high-quality lecture series -resonating with a lot of the content discussed -looking up the hhci -realizing its right next to the church where i'm a lapsed member, in my state, in my city of houston, 4 miles up the road -i guess sometimes signs need to be so large, & hit like a school bus before i notice cheers

Problem with NPD is treatment depends on their on level of awareness and willingness to progress.

Great exposé, resuming the main aspects. Might I add that from having been with a Person with that disorder, but heightened by substance abuse, 1. Grandiose and vulnerable aspects can overlap, creating a sense of multiple personalities, thus creating the mind games of hot and cold, push and pull that people with NPD use to manupilate and confuse you, 2. Substance abuse seems very common in ppl with BPD, specially when they cannot match their grandiosity with the reality (job, relationships etc), 3. There is subtlety in NPD, for exp, my ex IS delusional, in that he really believes in his lies and deceits, thus when you say that ppl with NPD are not delusional, of course they are not in the sense of Pathology like Schizophrenic ppl, but from the moment ypu live in a self created reality, you might very well be in the Delusional box, no? 4. Is it possible to make yourself heard when u tell them the truth about themselves or is there no way around this? And are they able to love someone? 5. Also, they tend to be pathological cheaters, because one person isnt a reliable or constant enough source of attention, is this the case for all? 6. They are often quite good looking or at least seductive, making them shallow

What makes you think successful people with NPD would show up at your office? You’re view is skewed.

Wonderful lecture!

I called The National Hotline for abuse 9 times during the last six months before I left him.

Thanks for the video

YOU TOTALLY NAILED IT MR SANFORD! MY X FITS THE BILL TO THE TEE, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!

I live in a very wealthy area so have come across some extremely financially successful npd's, as well as bpd's and histrionics (who become wealthy through marriage) and yes, their entire families are beyond crazy. I do see their marriages lasting and their children getting destroyed. They "volunteer" in the community and are respected and look amazing on paper - it's just nuts. And I disagree, they do not deserve sympathy. I encourage anyone involved with these types of people to cut your losses and run - save yourself. I wasted decades of my life not understanding what I was caught up with. They fool marriage counselors into believing you are the one with the problem. Run, just run.