Who is the Best Animatronic to Smooch? (The Fnaf Smooch & Bite Guide)

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Published 2023-07-05
Don't lie, you're curious. In a franchise focused largely on scary robots with garish mouths chomping in your face, it's no surprise that you might wonder what it would be like to smooch them. Well, look no further! Today we will be breaking down your favorite animatronics, their bites, their personalities, and we will whittle down who indeed have the best kisses and who is the best animatronic to smooch.
This is the Fnaf Smooching Guide!
Pray for me.

Thumbnail and additional art used in video were made by @theooftroop !

Music:
Funiculi Holiday - Pizza Tower
Toy Chica's High School Days Theme
Cemetery Clown - Sir Cubworth
Dialtown Theme - Nathan Hanover
A Slice and a Scoop - Pizzeria Simulator
Dialtown Downtown - Nathan Hanover
In the Garden - Godmode
Sharp Edges - half.cool
Day 4 - Dayshift at Freddy's Ost
Legal Woes - Pizzeria Simulator

0:00 A Quick Disclaimer
0:21 The Most Important Question
1:05 How the Ranking Works
2:18 Freddy Fazbear
3:31 Bonnie
4:15 Chica
5:19 Foxy
6:36 Golden Freddy
8:25 Toy Freddy
10:05 Toy Bonnie
11:08 Toy Chica
12:25 Mangle
13:41 Balloon Boy
15:08 Marionette
16:22 Withered Bonnie
17:15 Withered Chica
18:23 Withered Freddy
19:47 Withered Foxy
21:03 JJ
21:47 Phantom Animatronics
22:15 Springtrap
23:33 Nightmare Freddy
24:27 Freddles
25:02 Nightmare Bonnie
25:30 Nightmare Chica
25:50 Nightmare Foxy
26:20 Nightmare Fredbear (& Fredbear)
26:50 Nightmare
27:34 Jack-O-Chica and Jack-O-Bonnie
27:48 Nightmarionne
28:45 Plushtrap
30:00 Nightmare Balloon Boy
31:18 Virtua-Freddy
31:57 Old Man Consequences
32:16 Circus Baby
34:07 Ballora
35:41 Funtime Foxy
36:36 Funtime Freddy
38:10 Bon-Bon
39:02 Bonnet
39:29 Minireenas
40:47 Bidybabs & Electrobab
42:10 Lolbit
42:37 Yenndo
43:54 Ennard
45:34 Helpy
46:48 Trash and the Gang
47:50 Happy Frog
48:52 Pigpatch
49:30 Nedd Bear
50:12 Mr. Hippo
50:47 Orville Elephant
51:14 Rockstar Freddy
52:32 Rockstar Bonnie
53:17 Rockstar Chica
54:08 Rockstar Foxy
54:50 Music Man
56:21 El Chip
57:18 Funtime Chica
58:18 Candy Cadet
59:21 Scrap Baby
1:01:14 Molten Freddy
1:02:22 Scraptrap
1:03:32 Lefty
1:05:22: Dreadbear
1:07:00 Grimm Foxy
1:07:45 Captain Foxy
1:09:10 Glitchtrap
1:10:01 Vanny
1:10:20 Glamrock Freddy
1:11:40 Glamrock Chica
1:13:13 Monty Gator
1:14:12 Roxanne Wolf
1:15:51 Sun
1:17:45 Moon
1:18:34 DJ Music Man
1:20:00 Lil Music Man
1:21:00 Burntrap
1:22:30 Blob
1:24:51 Michael Afton
1:25:30 Final Ranking

All Comments (21)
  • I have to tragically inform everyone that I forgot the Security Puppet existed. Upon a quick once-over, I think I would've given the Security Puppet an 11 or 12 points on the smoochable scale. With the tipping factor being the sympathy, as the Security Puppet technically isn't the Puppet we know but might've burned in the Pizzeria Simulator fire. I don't think it would've beaten out the winner, but it would've been up at S tier.
  • @nyancreeperpony
    "Don't go to Chuck E Cheese and kiss the rat" Well there goes my weekend.
  • @lman0089
    I actually think you should’ve given Nightmare Freddy an extra point or two for sympathy. He IS a single father after all.
  • @user-fq4po1rd3m
    Sun getting a 12 is basically just that one soos line from gravity falls "My grandma was right all along. I am the world's most perfect man." (light shines down, doves perch)
  • @KaroxNightshade
    Apparently Roxy is incredibly based and helpful in Ruin, I think she deserves a re-evaluation
  • @YoshiBoi08
    "Apparently Nightmare Freddy breeds via budding" is a sentence that terrifies me to my core.
  • @davida4661
    This is what Scott Cawthon has in mind all these years. That stuff about the haunted robots and purple men was only the B plot
  • @frownyclowny6955
    As a sun Simp, I am so proud of this community coming together to gaslight everyone into thinking Sun’s cute for max scores. Truly the moment of all time :)
  • @sworishina
    The only thing I'd change is giving Glamrock Chica a higher sympathy score because you can actually hear very quiet crying if you get close enough in SB, which implies that she's completely aware under Vanny's control and being forced to watch her body be piloted by someone else.
  • @TheHuskyK9
    "Oh boy, smooching time!" -Link, 1989
  • @sophitiaofhyrule
    Another point about Bonnett: I'd say she's sympathetic, because she tells the player "Take me with you!" and sounds very genuine, not aggressive.
  • @dark_angylz845
    1:26:20 "So many of these animatronics are greasy, contain rotten corpses, or are Balloon Boy." fucking gold XD
  • @JocaPlays87
    "They are intangible creatures, you cant smooch them" THAT SOUNDS LIKE EXCUSES, IM GOING TO SMOOCH OLD MAN CONSEQUENCES AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
  • @yakwiry7597
    Most compelling lore analysis ive seen yet matpat needs to get on this
  • @Potato.644
    I don't care what you think im smooching Funtime foxy
  • @jackcalix4000
    I, personally, feel as though the puppet deserves more points in the sympathy category. The puppet was made to protect Henry's daughter, Charlotte, and did so diligently, but when Charlotte was murdered, they stayed by her side in an alley until the rain destroyed them.
  • @scuffed_carrot
    With the addition of ruin I feel like Roxy deserves an 11 because, she's only deadly towards Gregory. Other than that she is actually the exact opposite.
  • @Luna-fn2nv
    "So many of these animatronics are greasy, contain rotten corpses, or are balloon boy." had me wheezing
  • @whinter626
    Disclaimer: a lack of kissability does NOT equate to any animatronic making up for such in... other... departments. I repeat... DO NOT YIFF THE FOX!!!
  • @aidencalhoun4893
    "Don't kiss the rat" has the same energy as "Don't yiff the fox"